bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №148354
 20.01.2018
A British woman was allowed to play her husband after her death.
Sick with cancer, before she died, she made a promise that she would water flowers in the bathroom every day. A pensioner for a few years fulfilled the request of a spouse who had died prematurely, since his daughter did not find that the flowers were artificial. Ego’s daughter tweeted: “We felt like my mom was talking about the cvepxy and was having fun. He had a good sense of humor.”

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №148353
 20.01.2018
Outside the door, I hear a husband in the neighboring room removing the baby’s suitcase:
Taak, pull out your legs. Ra-A is Now the other leg. Two a-a.
Now pull out your hands. Ra-A is Two a-a. Three-and-and...

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №148352
 20.01.2018
Okay to you!
– is
Money does not ruin people, it really ruins their absence.
– is
People are not ruined by money or their absence. Simply, both manifest in people those qualities that are not visible in other situations. If from someone when changing the material position suddenly begins to fountains shit, it means that it was in him in considerable quantities before this, and it did not arise from anywhere.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №148351
 20.01.2018
The hostess of the senior group, who often shouts with the children, addresses the developed girl, raised in the theatrical environment: "Go here, little, I dress you..." The dressed child goes to the door, turns and says: "Thank you from all my heart, in your life I will not forget this".

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №148350
 20.01.2018
This happened when the younger son went to the kindergarten. On one of the spring days, I brought him to the garden, his group was walking on the site. He handed his son to the teacher and only wanted to leave as the question followed:

Can you bring us sand?

I am even a little overwhelmed.

What a sand, I’m not a driver.

Here is a bunch. We brought a sand truck, poured it out on the territory, and now we need to bring it to the sandbox of our group. And here we have a car and a boot.

No question, I will bring it. He threw the sand into the car and drove it out. After the second car, the teacher of the neighboring group approached me: "Please bring us sand in the sandbox." Okay we do.

After the first car, a boy came to me with the question: Uncle, drive me in the car. I am not sorry, use it. After that, all the children wanted to ride in the car. On one side I carried the sand, on the other the children. Two people were sitting in a car, two were hanging on their pen. To accelerate the process, the children began to help load and unload the sand. With this help, I carried the sand across all the sandstocks. The main problem for me was to drive everyone, no matter what left out.

The next day this orava met me with a question:

Are you going to drive sand today?

No is!

And with hope in the voice: and tomorrow?

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №148349
 20.01.2018
From Habr. Comments on Home Heating:

If you use a sodium-potassium alloy as a heat carrier, and keep a temperature of 200-300 degrees C, you will be able to cook / roast potatoes on batteries. Again, the batteries with this heating will be very large 8))";

WOW: "And cats are single-use."

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №148348
 20.01.2018
The Dressed:

In Russia, Tchaikovsky was considered a too European composer until he needed Soviet propaganda as "Our All". And the brilliant “Peak Lady” was written, for example, in Italy in general (which he loved so much that he had an Italian capriccio and a “Memory of Florence”).

Why didn’t Romeo and Juliet stop?
“I have never met anyone who is more in love with Mother Rus in general and her great Russian parts in particular. I grew up in the dark, from my early childhood I was permeated by the inexplicable beauty of Russian folk music... I love the Russian element in all its manifestations, I am Russian in the fullest sense of the word. I love the Russian person, the Russian language, the Russian mindset, the Russian beauty of faces, the Russian customs... I love to travel in the form of vacation abroad – it is the greatest pleasure. You can only live in Russia.”
Peter Ilyich Tchaikovsky

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №148347
 20.01.2018
Happy are those who are able to thank for what they have! Unfortunate are those who are eternally angry at the lack of what is desired.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №148346
 20.01.2018
I bought a house. Older neighbors (husband and wife) brought instructions for accommodation. Children do not run (noise), do not build (noise), do not heat the car (gases), do not roast the straw (scars, smoke), ground the antenna with a screened cable (from lightning) and many more items. For non-compliance with points - enmity. I said I would sell the house to the Gypsies. They are not greeting now.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №148345
 20.01.2018
Tell me, Father, what should I ask of God?
Ask for what is missing, and if you have everything, ask forgiveness.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №148344
 20.01.2018
Advice to everyone who puts soup on the plate and goes to the computer: take it with you
the spoon. This item will remind you that you are cooking something.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №148343
 20.01.2018
I have been offered different things on the internet many times.
But today my immature mind is overthrown.

"Are you looking for a quality horse on the stick?"

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №148342
 20.01.2018
Not all people love money so fanatically that from one of their presence they become happy.

and UGU. We heard, we know. You will not be happy with the money, of course. But the lack of money, which makes it impossible to satisfy basic needs (one-room apartment for five, apples on Sundays, beef on holidays, and laundry of clothes until it is dissolved at all, for today’s realities), very much impedes happiness.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №148341
 20.01.2018
XXΧ: B Rules prohibit linking to other websites.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №148340
 20.01.2018
######
Second, the observation is appropriate, since the Russians themselves very much like to deal with the "roots" of the Rurikovichs of all kinds (but only when it is advantageous for them).
Third, look at the leisure where Peter Ilyich created most of his masterpieces. It is in the estate of the Countess of Mecca (now Brail of the Vinnitsk region, Ukraine) that there is still the same lilium-grown pond surrounded by the forest, the view of which inspired the great composer to create the "Swan Lake".
############
If Petro Ilyich performed on the territory of the Russian Empire, which is now misunderstood to be on the territory of Ukraine, it does not make him a Ukrainian composer.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №148339
 20.01.2018
(Picture: on the backdrop of the Arc de Triomphe in a ma-alien subway, strapped with a ma-alien donkey, a Wehrmacht soldier runs)
xxx: Go to the Wehrmacht, they said, you will run the PzKpfw-IV, they said...
Better in Paris on a wagon than on the Eastern Front on the Panther.
zzz: If the Wehrmacht parade in Paris reflected the efforts made to capture France.
The French would go there.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №148338
 19.01.2018
xxx: Why did the educational programs not yet begin in the anime format to do?
xxx: in humanitarian specialties this narrative is often
Here is a book about Comrade Stalin and a crowd of court ethnographers in the 1930s, developing concepts of languages for the primitive peoples of the USSR, I would have remembered much better than 10 pages of the text.
Don’t laugh at people who eat and drink.
XXX in the plan?
I was drowning, sodomy.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №148337
 19.01.2018
and SL:
In the church, water is consecrated on January 18, on the day of the Divine Appearance. This water is called the godly water. And at 0 a.m. on January 19, the same act of water sanctification is read over the water and the water is considered to be Kreshenskaya. In principle, both water is the same in strength. But the greatest strength of holy water from 0 to 3 o'clock at night on January 19, during the days 19 - 20 - January 21, its strength slowly decreases and by the evening of the 21st the water becomes normal. So swimming in Baptism is best at night on the 19th from 0 to 3 nights

by VM:
The numbers! I need numbers!
by VM:
What is the power of water in newtons? How much will the force drop on January 20 and 21?
by VM:
Are we scientists or who?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №148336
 19.01.2018
Habrahabr, Discussion of the Old Iron

Eldhenn: This is how we lived before. Either a movie, or music, or a toy, or a disk is formatted.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №148335
 19.01.2018
I threw the tree today!
YYY: Weak, only in the middle of January!
XXX Last year!
YYY: O great, take me to your students!

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna