bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №127018
 19.04.2016
Listening to Odessa:
We have crushed our Crimea.
What has changed? Do you have your own business there? The Property? The Pension? The hotel? The Azure Coast? Can you go on vacation?
So, it would be better to get out of Kiev. Crimea would remain ours.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №127017
 19.04.2016
Help the future calvinist. Often the fishermen have to spend the night in the car, in connection with which the question: 1.Who is arranged? 2.The back of the front seats are folded together with the rear seat?
AHT: Much depends on the length of the members. But the presence of a car allows you to take a tent, bedroom and carpet with you without problems. Everything is more comfortable.
Alex: AHT, and what does the length of the member affect, so as not to touch a neighbor or a neighbor???and :)
AHT: I don’t know what the neighbor has there, but I meant the legs.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №127016
 19.04.2016
I wanted to change the windows. Waiting for freezers. They call back, they say that near my house now the car is parked and will come. I sit and wait. Fifteen minutes pass, I call and ask when they finally come. At the end of the line: Who are you? Your client, I say, I wait for the measures to come. After a tense silence, the freezer says: - And now, who have we measured?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №127015
 19.04.2016
In the Garden of Alexandria, a young couple, looking at Пржевальского's bust, discussed who she was seeing.
Look at, look at! The pursuit of him! He is a general!
What is next to him?
This is a camel! Then it is clear! They are severe!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №127014
 19.04.2016
here here :

Now all Alicia, Snowmen, Vitaly and Dominica. Not all, but half.

On the other hand, the whole of Evdokia, Ulyana, Martha and Angelina. They can then hostile clans of names or fight to walk the wall on the wall.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №127013
 19.04.2016
and swallow. If you get married, go to the left. Honors and responsibilities for actions - no, like teenagers with a lack of courage. If you are completely unable, then divorce and then engage with anyone. Stay foolish, but at least keep your face.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №127012
 19.04.2016
>>> yyy: The freebsd administrator’s manual, compared to the oracle documentation, is an outstanding, mother of it, monument of verbality. Written easily, fascinating, and very emotional.

As a student, I learned microcontroller. The first was PIC. I felt the documentation was incomprehensible. The second was AVR. The PIC's manuals seemed to be masterpieces of documentation.

It was the third time I went to STM. And then I thought that in vain I was chasing on AVR's...

[ + 14 - ] Comment quote №127011
 19.04.2016
It seems necessary to supplement the concept of extremist activity (extremism) contained in the Federal Law "On Countering Extremist Activities" with such a manifestation as the denial of the results of the referendum.Chairman of the Investigative Committee Alexander Bastirkin.

Man, what are you sitting for?
for the rape. And you?
He denied electricity in Yalta.
Is this how the earth carries you?

This is a funny thing, but it’s time to change it.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №127010
 19.04.2016
We drive the car, in front of the indicator with big letters "NEW LIFE". Well, we think we’re going in now, and AAAAM!!! And there is a cemetery... Although from a religious and philosophical point of view they are right.

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127009
 19.04.2016
Lisa: Today I had a girlfriend from Altistic. I told her. Before I had a mattress, I slept on the couch. And she answered me absolutely indiscriminately that while she had no couch, she slept in a container blanket.

Musicians are like that. I have a bassist friend, so to say, spent the night, made a child with his wife in a coat from a bassist.

Fuck, this is a universal thing!
What else does she know?? to

You can still swim on it.

Lisa: in the hood? Or in a counterbase?

Alexander: In the coffin on the counterbase

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №127008
 19.04.2016
One day my girlfriend asked me, “How many girls did you have before me?”

What my brain said, “Well, more than you have!”

We laughed and it was the only time I was able to turn it out.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №127007
 19.04.2016
I was called today and invited to an interview in one of the offices, there was a very interesting dialogue with an aunt from the personnel department (OK):

Are you an optimist?

I: Why are you asking?

OK: How do you deal with life’s difficulties?

I – that is. Do you want to say your salary is delayed?

Okay... yes...

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №127006
 19.04.2016
Income of 20114. You can’t handle the washing machine? No, seriously, you really do not understand how to put the underwear in the car, where to put the powder and which two or three buttons to press? Do you ask my mom to show you?? to

The Pizzeria.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №127005
 19.04.2016
When we have a new washing machine or any other household appliance in our homes, we do not know how to use it properly. That’s why we read the paper instructions attached to this technique, or googled them on the Internet (well, the paper the enemies dropped, it happens). This skill is enough for some reason even the most dumb girls taboo. Do you admit that you are stupid?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №127004
 19.04.2016
Husband photographs wife in new underwear
Fuck it in.
I am already (

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127003
 18.04.2016
Don’t print all of the Ahina on the packages of cigarettes. and. It is enough to write: "The proceeds will go to the Deputy Aid Fund"! Half the world will quit smoking! ! to

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №127002
 18.04.2016
Stranger: It’s hard to have parents. Right now, my wife and I are trying to convince the child that her favourite horseback is called Plotva.
Artem: It is normal! Only to the school, explain that the hymn of the Russian Federation and the Imperial March are somewhat different works.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №127001
 18.04.2016
Characteristically, even Count Lev Nikolaevich did not teach anyone about this.

Has Tolstoy taught anyone? Have you read a book carefully? His own style of exhibition is exclusively mentoring!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №127000
 18.04.2016
xxx> what about the ZP?
yyy> yes, hz чо po zp, эх, yop.
xxx> a great and powerful tongue

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №126999
 18.04.2016
by 20100

All you have achieved. This child's life in school has ruined by adding a bunch of unnecessary problems, and your mother named Yulia has not deprived you of your individuality. You are a fool without brain and talent.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna