Xxx: Sleeps with the phone, eats with the phone, goes to the toilet too with the phone. When you call, you don’t hear the phone.

Often, the winner is not the one who looks stronger, but the one who simply has no place to retreat.

In 1847, a 24-year-old arrogant capitalist hamster, a descendant nobleman, retired hussar Sergey Lisitsyn stepped onto the deck of a ship under the Andreevsky flag, seeking to get to America. He was accepted in the officer cabin company amicably, but in drunken form spoke boldly to the ship's commander and began to beat the sailors into rebellion. The captain ordered to turn the instigator, tie the eyes and land on the desert shore, with a note.

When the prisoner freed himself from the put and broke the bandage from his eyes, on the horizon he saw a departing ship. The noble captain left him a suitcase with clothes, three pairs of boots, a towel (Ohio Sea is not a tropical ocean), a pair of pistols, a shackle, a hammer, a supply of sugar and tea, a gold pocket clock, a foldable knife, a pud of sweaters, two flags with vodka, clean notebooks, a shackle, a fireplace, a supply of flashbacks and even 200 Havana cigars.

All this was accompanied by an excellent rifle with 26 charges and the note of the ship's commander: "Happy Sergei Petrovich! According to the Maritime Statute, you should be sentenced to death. But for the sake of your youth and your wonderful talents, and most importantly, the good heart I have marked, I give you life... I sincerely wish that loneliness and need correct your unhappy character. Time and reflection will teach you to appreciate my indulgence, and if the fate ever brings us back to what I sincerely desire, we will not encounter enemies. A. of M. »

The nobility of Lisitsyn did nothing by his own hands: in his estate he was served by serfs, in the regiment he was cared for by a day worker. Knowing that the ship was going along the Sea of Okhotsk, he hoped that it was left on one of the crumbs of the Aleutian or Kuril Islands. But he soon realized that his situation was no worse. He was caught by fate in the clutches of two seas. In front of him, the cold Okhotsky Sea blasted, and behind his back the drizzle of the "green sea of taiga". And in it – bears, wolves, rises, poisonous snakes...

In a week "Russian Robinson" arranged a house with a stove, smashed furniture. He made the bow, the bow and the arrows (consciously deciding to guard the ammunition to the rifle). And rightly - in the winter, a hungry wolf squirrel ran into his house - killed eight predators from a rifle in the focus. And before that, he shot a bear, providing himself with a warm shirt and a stock of bear meat. He caught fish, gathered and dried mushrooms.

On April 12, Sergey Lisitsyn walked along the shore, evaluating the consequences of spring storms, and saw a man lying on a thread. Without strength and feelings. It turned out that Vasily, so called the unfortunate, was from a transport that went to Russian America. The boat leaked, everyone fled from it, and he and his son were forgotten. The ship was found nearby. In addition to the 16-year-old boy, there were two shepherds, cats, 8 hillbilly cows, a bull, 16 oxen, 26 sheep, food supplies, tools, seeds of barley and rye, as well as weapons, a telescope, two surveillance tubes, a samovar, a building and gardening tool.

Seven months of loneliness completely wiped out the baron's whole nobility. With such a farm and two more pairs of strong and skilled hands, they not only renewed the house and bathroom over the summer, but also learned to make butter, cream, cheese and cheese. They spotted the field and gathered the harvest of barley and rye. We organized abundant fishing of sea and river fish. We started collecting and processing mushrooms, berries and forest herbs. In other words, a labor community.

In 1857, the writer Alexander Sibyryakov met with the hospitable master of copper and gold stores in Priamurye Sergey Lisitsyn. The deposits of copper ore and gold he once found, being alone. He was appointed by the government and the governor of these lands. Vasily “Friday” was with him. His son studied at the Moscow University.
And at the University of St. Petersburg for Lisitsyn's account, both sons of the ship's commander, who once landed the smith-husar on the desert shore, studied. Becoming a wealthy man, Sergey Lisitsyn found an old man, led him on his last journey and took care of his children.

In my city with snow cleaning work, as usual, the rain was best handled.

Where to look for the second half?? to



Yyy: Try on donating blood.

Obvious advantages: the person is altruistic and did not suffer from syphilis, AIDS and hepatitis.

Xxx: One day I went on a date with an African. I was fucking curious to talk, he came to Peter from Congo, studying for a lawyer. I never talked to black people before, and naturally, I was very nervous on the first date. Before a bunch, my mom told me all sorts of horrors and so I, for the least case, took a knife with me.He was almost useless to me, the guy was very educated and distracted by the laws (indignantly called me a criminal when I walked on the lawn).Of course, I wanted to impress him somehow, a foreign guest, anyway... Therefore, I found nothing better than in the process of walking through the park to catch a pigeon and show him how to hypnotize him properly. For that date, of course, I surpassed myself, so worried that after the pigeon I could no longer stop.

I dragged this comrade into the store for a shale (I wandered around the park and tried to talk in broken Russian, it strained me even more), then - climbed over the fence of the shale, where I opened the fire and burned the shale (here is the knife and was useful), then I made a small shale of shit and sticks when the rain began, so as to wait, not wet and calmly eat this shale. Then I found a drowsy puppy and showed them how funny they are eating worms... I think I was impressed. The man then even dared to go with me and my friends on a trip with tents.



Yyy: Remember who of you was from Congo?

Xxx: Called a client on a mobile phone, I say, say, unfortunately, not dependent on us, the price for this service has risen by 50%. In response, she whispered in the phone:

by PIDARAS!!Oh Pythagoras!! to

I lost the gift of speech. and she:

“Sorry, Eugene, you cut me down here, somewhat turned around.

Xxx: Shortly, when I was in school, I liked a guy who was a couple of classes older. I built my eyes for a long time, I began to roast the horse, seeing him on the horizon, wearing the best at once. She cuddled as she could.



I don’t know what a miracle, but he invited me to a date. I was crazyly happy and decided not to miss the chance given by fate, and for this date in some way I must fall in love with him, even more. Since I was afraid that I would not be able to somehow interest him in communication or charisma, I decided to bet on mystery. The plan was this: we walk along the road, and when I approach the stanooke, I suddenly sit in the first trolleybus, and, without saying a word, leave it. The next day he’ll come to me and ask why I left, and I’ll answer, yes, I wanted to, and then he’ll understand how mysterious I am and fall in love with me. The perfect plan, ah...



But even this idiotic plan did not go according to the script. First, the trolleybus was not there for a long time and my knight could not convince me to leave the stop. Secondly, when the trolleybus still approached and I got into it, mysteriously not to leave, because the driver did not want to close the door, collecting more passengers. We just looked at each other. He shrugged on me, and I, all that mysterious, from the trolleybus on him. Finally the door closed and I walked away. Well, as far away, at the next stop, she went out and drowned in the opposite direction home.



Neither the next day nor ever again he came to me. I have not fully appreciated my efforts (



15 years after graduation, I worked as a building materials sales manager and this guy came to our office. I immediately recognized him and tried to pretend that it wasn’t me, and I was wildly busy that he would go to other managers. But he sat down to me and asked if I remembered him. We had to talk normally. He said it was the most fucking date in his life, and in general he decided that I left because I wanted to catch up and was very surprised to find out that I had such a plan for him to fall in love with me.

I was a fool, cape.

I’ve always been surprised that old people walk in old jackets and coats and don’t want to buy new ones, even if they have money.

Now I realized that my favorite sweater I bought in 2008 and I will not change it)

Dear Santa, I have been doing good all year. Can I pull someone now?

The results of the medical examination will help your relatives to plan the right gifts for your anniversary.

Just like 4.
About the dogs.
Half a year ago, he rented his girlfriend, his medalist covet (German Shepherd). The dog had a wonderful time with a lot of cute suckles. I came back a week ago, pleased and excited. Upon arrival, as is known, he removed all the fence, confirming his rights to own property. The room that remained at home, Kesha did not forget and everything went according to the custom.
However, the time spent in a "foreign" family, somewhat changed his habits. Each house has its own style, and the cowboy, as it often happens, learned new tricks.
Our house stands on a forest and is surrounded by a deaf two-meter fence. The fence is assembled from the factory, still Soviet times. Very strong and monumental.
The day, dogs usually spend in their volleyers. At night they are released to free guard and traditionally "cut" circles along the perimeter of the territory.
The next morning, after the “dear guest” arrived, I woke up to the sounds of the dog swing. I looked out the window and saw that the whole room was gathered on a small "fifth" and scandal. He went out on the streets and carried everyone on volley. Kesha left in the yard, suddenly has not yet "marked" everything and will worry.
At lunch I gathered in the woods and went out into the yard and found the dog in the place where I left it (on the morning "five"). Kobe sat, pressing his mouth to the fence and did not pay attention to me.
How do dogs usually spend the day? They either crash in volleyers or bite their favourite bite. The scenario is rarely different. I was surprised by my dog’s unusual behavior. I approached him and looked at the fence. There was a small hole in the factory, apparently from the screw. Everything turned out to be simple, Kesha “invented the TV.” Of course, I didn’t guess it myself, but I struck out the technology when I was on a business trip. The hole in the fence existed, without a little 30 years, but nobody was interested, until now.
Apparently the "television programs" were interesting, unfortunately he did not depart from the "window to the world", a few hours. I did not interfere with watching and left. In the evening, in order to confirm his guess, the German sent to the volley and released the Caucasian. It appeared to be on the “screen”. It became apparent that the "disassembly" in the morning, took place due to non-compliance with the turn to look.
The next morning, the dogs repeated. I had to solve the problem, I don't like to wake up by someone else's will.
There were a few options:
1st Turn off the TV and fill a hole.
2nd Buy each on a separate monitor.
I love my dogs and chose item 2.
He got the drill, picked the thickest drill and wrapped a hole, one at a time, on his brother.
The four sides of the light 28 holes.
The clashes in the morning immediately stopped. When I come home, seven happy brown eyes look at me. A week later, the interests of the band were revealed when viewing "television programs". They prefer “programs” about nature (the north side of the fence, going out to the forest) and “reality show” (the west side, the entrance road and the neighbors). They love collective views, individuals have not yet observed. I’m afraid they’ll learn to switch channels.
After upgrading the fence, received a pleasant bonus. The number of false operations of dog "signalization" has decreased significantly. Li is heard rarely and always in action.
P.S I will think well if I decide to send somebody to the "commission". It is likely that another time, you will have to build a water park, a library or buy a telescope, suddenly the dogs will be interested in the arrangement of the universe.
by Vladimir.
23 December 2022.

The problem is not that we never became masters, but that we ceased to be comrades.

Xxx: And I have a cat – like a parrot, the light is turned off – he goes to bed right away. Such a smart. In the morning, he never wakes up, only comes to bed, lies next to him and whispers loudly. It may be so late in the evening.)



Yyy: Take pills, you have hallucinations. You have no cat.

Xxx: I had a colleague who had betrayed her husband with a regular lover for many years in a row. So she did not spend days in the calendar, but kept a diary and detailed the sexual scenes there, what to do, creative nature, you need to shake out emotions on paper.

If the gun hangs on the wall... of course, the husband found the diary, gently speaking, was angry. But, she hanged him a bucket that it is she writes a female novel - pure water fantasy.

If in Russia everything is mad, it means all the joy of stupidity.

The acquaintance gathered somehow with her new boyfriend in a nightclub, approached this responsibly - a swing, swinging makeup, a dressed shirt with bare shoulders. He came to her in his car, on the way to the club stopped at his house to change clothes and take a shower, was right from work. He asked me to wait 10 minutes in the car. And here she sits, misses, the smartphone leaks. At the top of the woman’s voice:
What kind of sheep do you have in your car?! to
The acquaintance stared and stirred - some fierce grandmother rolls from the balcony, looks directly at her and spells:
I’m talking about you, Blake. Remember, this cowboy is married!! to

A familiar in complete frustration and agitation of bullets jumped out of the car, showing her long slim legs in a short shirt and the best shoes. From the balcony:
So you got rid of it, shit! I'll cut off the skin, makeup will be repaired.

The acquaintance thought of dragging away from there, but a stranger approached the car, admirably looked at the unhappy woman, then raised his head to the balcony and cried:
Katy, you are a fool!! Our car stands! I showed it to the other end of the yard.

The car was exactly the same model and color. Quietly rubbed under his nose, the man went to her, went and left. Soon there was a friend of my acquaintance. I looked at her more enthusiastically:
What a red rose!

She then danced like the devil, splashing out the accumulated adrenaline. Diko whispered, telling us what she experienced in those terrible seconds. The best cosmetics are natural emotions.

– Mommy, and does Santa put presents under every tree?
“Yes, Abramchik, under every one of them!
“Mommy, why do we put only one tree?

Half a year ago, he rented his girlfriend, his medalist covet (German Shepherd). The dog had a wonderful time with a lot of cute suckles. I came back a week ago, pleased and excited. Upon arrival, as is known, he removed all the fence, confirming his rights to own property. The room that remained at home, Kesha did not forget and everything went according to the custom.

However, the time spent in a "foreign" family, somewhat changed his habits. Each house has its own style, and the cowboy, as it often happens, learned new tricks.

Our house stands on a forest and is surrounded by a deaf two-meter fence. The fence is assembled from the factory, still Soviet times. Very strong and monumental.

The day, dogs usually spend in their volleyers. At night they are released to free guard and traditionally "cut" circles along the perimeter of the territory.

The next morning, after the “dear guest” arrived, I woke up to the sounds of the dog swing. I looked out the window and saw that the whole room was gathered on a small "fifth" and scandal. He went out on the streets and carried everyone on volley. Kesha left in the yard, suddenly has not yet "marked" everything and will worry.

At lunch I gathered in the woods and went out into the yard and found the dog in the place where I left it (on the morning "five"). Kobe sat, pressing his mouth to the fence and did not pay attention to me.

How do dogs usually spend the day? They either crash in volleyers or bite their favourite bite. The scenario is rarely different. I was surprised by my dog’s unusual behavior. I approached him and looked at the fence. There was a small hole in the factory, apparently from the screw. Everything turned out to be simple, Kesha “invented the TV.” Of course, I didn’t guess it myself, but I struck out the technology when I was on a business trip. The hole in the fence existed, without a little 30 years, but nobody was interested, until now.

Apparently the "television programs" were interesting, unfortunately he did not depart from the "window to the world", a few hours. I did not interfere with watching and left. In the evening, in order to confirm his guess, the German sent to the volley and released the Caucasian. It appeared to be on the “screen”. It became apparent that the "disassembly" in the morning, took place due to non-compliance with the turn to look.

The next morning, the dogs repeated. I had to solve the problem, I don't like to wake up by someone else's will.

There were a few options:

1st Turn off the TV and fill a hole.

2nd Buy each on a separate monitor.

I love my dogs and chose item 2.

He got the drill, picked the thickest drill and wrapped a hole, one at a time, on his brother.

The four sides of the light 28 holes.

The clashes in the morning immediately stopped. When I come home, seven happy brown eyes look at me. A week later, the interests of the band were revealed when viewing "television programs". They prefer “programs” about nature (the north side of the fence, going out to the forest) and “reality show” (the west side, the entrance road and the neighbors). They love collective views, individuals have not yet observed. I’m afraid they’ll learn to switch channels.

After upgrading the fence, received a pleasant bonus. The number of false operations of dog "signalization" has decreased significantly. Li is heard rarely and always in action.

P.S I will think well if I decide to send somebody to the "commission". It is likely that another time, you will have to build a water park, a library or buy a telescope, suddenly the dogs will be interested in the arrangement of the universe.

The easiest way to escape responsibility is on a service car.