bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №37678
 21.10.2010
I went to visit my mom, I watched her screaming something in photoshop. Then he opens the old ACDC 3.0, and cuts the edges carefully in it. I wonder why not cut in photoshop, why does it make sense to cut two slides at the same time. She answers that in Photoshop, she likes to make collages, and ACDC does circumcision best. The Jews drink tea.

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №37677
 21.10.2010
Long-haul drivers deliver cargo a day earlier.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №37676
 21.10.2010
In the first place to work in Moscow you need to take the Moscovites, - said the candidate for the measures of the city of Moscow, a native of the Tyumen region, Sobyanin Sergey Semenovich. Interestingly, if he is approved by the mayor, his first action will be the resignation of the position in favor of an indigenous Moscovich?

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №37675
 21.10.2010
From a Women's Magazine
Another response to the question of what you like about loneliness:
"There are no strings! Freedom of Pope!"

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №37674
 21.10.2010
What is a rotor?
It is the rotating part in electric machines and turbines, in opposite. The Stator.
She: Where to get it?
He: Where are they and where are they?? to
She: They said that inets on two compass to carry a rotor needed

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №37673
 21.10.2010
xxx: found a cat one interesting bug: when he itches his back leg, and you help him, he continues to itch your hand :)
yyy: unfortunately there are no cat originals)) I would have added a noise regulator in addition to the fix :)

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №37672
 21.10.2010
Is Wikipedia Google’s wife?
Tagged with: riddles

[ + 112 - ] Comment quote №37671
 21.10.2010
Chat one online RPG:
GolDF1ngeR: WHAT, FUCK, MY MONEY WAS STEALED FOR SUCKS!!!!? to
Big_Boss: guy, get angry, this sometimes happens)))
GolDF1ngeR: I am not fucking!!! I got 50 gold!! to
Gremlinnnn: Listen, stop the capsicum.
GolDF1ngeR: I do not fall, I hold the shift!
Big_Boss: Fuck, give him money, he’s a terrible man.

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №37670
 21.10.2010
Yesterday I went to the store with a friend to buy beer. While they were choosing, he noticed a man, well, 40 years old, he had a magic rod like Harry's chase from his back pocket. We are already in line and here is just the hunt to catch it somehow. Some other boys stood in front of us and apparently also crossed the topic with a stick. Well, shortly, one of them fulfills my idea and the dementors surround me, they want to dry out my soul!!!" a man shortly thinking catches a stick and masches her and eats Avad Kedavr!!! It’s hard, but it’s just an apocalypse! To him on betrayal comes another with a stick (also 40 years old) and in full seriousness says "If dementors attack you you have to call a patronus!"
This is what will happen to these actors in 20 years.

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №37669
 21.10.2010
From the Habbri:

>>> Yes, they were there in their lab very well*!

You have a very original approach to arranging stars in non-normative vocabulary.

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №37668
 21.10.2010
The cat "NoName" is in good hands, they will come for him on Saturday) Thank you to all who replied.
You are helping the cat.

[ + 60 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №37667
 21.10.2010
And shouldn’t the inscription on the shampoo contain microparticles of diamonds and shouldn’t strain anyone who is little familiar with the Moos hardness scale?? to

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №37666
 21.10.2010
So tell me, the adventurer :)
Battle_Cat: Well what to tell... Two bulky bodies in search of adventures. At night, the bridges are broken. Where shall we go? Go to the club! Where is this club? The chok is shining! "The wicked" Let them be "the sinners"!
Garrota: *ROFL* *LOL* AAAA... This is a gay club, fucking!!))))))
Battle_Cat by Ugu. Faust is not at all, and I still have something. Guard of the dirt - go, welcome, fucking...
Garrota: Hole, a couple of men! *LOL* stand, and Faust is this... homophobic terrible? He almost killed somebody for a pitch, did you tell?
Battle_Cat: Here is the cimes. I understood that it was a bad thing when, right at the entrance to Faust, such a grafted and worthy man came to me: "Did you ever be touched by a man?" And Faust, the elephant of Siberia, fucking the pride of the Riazane landing, is like this: "Of course!".
Garrotha: o_0
Battle_Cat: I also look at it like this: o_0. And Faust: "Before the army, on medical examination! "Nihera does not smoke, the fucker is drunk.
Garrota: *ROFL* And what?))))
Battle_Cat: It ended up with the fact that we got a liter of cognac and sent on to walk:))) To avoid casualties:)))

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №37665
 21.10.2010
Send a quotation and you will get 2 copies.
Am I your horse?Or is it quo?
2 thousand years of experience)

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №37664
 21.10.2010
Teach me to ride a blonde.
The red car ;)
by AAA
The man on the lightforest on the right stands. by Figeet. Glass is down. I: listen brother, ask her if it's not difficult, she's not going to turn off at first and I'm here)))))))
I am ?
I hold the towel, drive faster!

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №37663
 21.10.2010
You hear, Susa, you are a pale horse, where does it carry you?! to
X: Oh, Sori for Caps, it is a coincidence.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №37662
 21.10.2010
Always do what you like, and what you don’t like, let those who like to do it.

[ + 87 - ] Comment quote №37661
 21.10.2010
Point of Return
I am eight years old and my parents are on holiday. On the last day of vacation, my dad bought me a plane. I hired him for a whole month.
Amazingly beautiful, with screws on the wings. He had to rotate on a scroll around him and the aircraft, striking propellers, turned his head to nausea.
Sitting on the train. We got the last wagon. I went out into the rear tamper, and a wild adventure came to mind: what if I tied the plane to the train?
Flying or not? I had a thin leash. He jumped out of the car, ran to the end, scratched from the trunk and soon tied to the door. In the last minute, I jumped back and the train left. At first, the aircraft dragged, jumping on the spades, its noise attracted the attention of two men on the platform, they appreciated a good thing on a long spade and leaned... I stood in a closed tambour and could not help my pilot with anything. When he was almost in other people's legs, the man fell off the track. The plane took off.
Imagine: you’re eight years old and a plane is flying behind your train on an invisible shuttle. I watched him enthusiastically for hours, and at every stop, my heart was pumping horse-doses of adrenaline. Every time the same thing: the train touches, the plane crashes, people notice it, think, decide, let go. Apparently, the length of the leash was ideal, and the persecutors either stood behind with wild curses, or fell. One day, my grandmother started chasing my plane, throwing her grandson on the platform. Retained quickly. I always imagined that it was our pilot escaping from German captivity. In a word, a day after our flight, the plane absorbed so much human energy that it seemed to light up slightly in the dark.
Here is the last half-stop two hours before arrival home. Parking for 2 minutes. Around the forest. I see a boy of October’s age passing through the rails, in my psychic destroying proximity to the treasure. It is, I noticed. He lifted up and with one rope pulled off the leash. I felt like my arm or leg had been cut off... He was looking at the plane and didn’t believe his eyes, I didn’t believe my own. The train touched. A person always feels when he is looked at, and when he looks at the medusa of the hormone, he feels even more. The boy got out of the plane and met me with a glance. We looked at each other for three seconds and... he went after the train. Faster, even faster, I caught up with the fist, already on the run, somehow bound my feared airplane, let go and waved him with his hand...
Thirty-five years have passed since then, but I have never seen a more noble act in my life.
To a rural, Soviet, eight-year-old boy, released out of his hands such a trophy?
He was an extraordinary man.
I hope that now he is happy, rich and loved by his family, because on him, like a whale, holds a huge piece of world.
And the plane, all in a net of small scratches, is stored in my son’s toys.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №37660
 21.10.2010
To find out if your wife is crawling into your pockets, put a condom there.

[ + 91 - ] Comment quote №37659
 21.10.2010
Hungry_Hunter: dear, to buy something?
Photo: Do you have a lot of money?
The Hungry Hunter: No.
Picture: Copy of Fucks
Picture: buy juice

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna