bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №119213
 08.10.2015
to this:
From the discussion of the photo of the passport, in which the place of birth is indicated Czechoslovakia:

Snoosmumrick: A citizen of Russia, born in Czechoslovakia with the Tatar name Timur. The Combo.
Timurspb: Yes, especially in the military department. What should I write for admission in the column "Was you abroad, and if so, for what purpose?"Written that you were born. I don’t know the purpose."

A Kazakh teacher reads courses to Moldovan students in Russian in Slovenia. This is Combo.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №119212
 08.10.2015
I put a child's cry on the alarm. I woke up before he called.


[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №119211
 08.10.2015
<avva> From the traditional annual October lecture of Andrei Zaliznyak on the graffiti found over the past year:
<avva> "I will start with the grammar that was found yesterday... This is such a square of about 5 in 5 centimeters, and this is what the text is there:"
<avva> "ѧdogsѧ"
<avva> "Well, of course, here is this division into words: ѧ puppyѧ “I am a puppy.” On top of this square there are holes for attachment. (Laughter and applause) "
That such things were not alien to the Novgorod writers on the breast, says the letter No. 199, belonging to Ontim, - so you are absolutely right, it is a greeting from Ontim, - who, having drawn the beast (I will not reproduce it, as he did), wrote on this beast the following inscription: "I am a beast." Now we have a second such literature: this puppy, therefore, decided to announce to us who he is.

<gimli_m> Hm. How do I correctly write "I am crude"?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №119210
 08.10.2015
you read randomly quotes, and suddenly gets acquainted.You unwillingly catch yourself on the thoughts "and I remember you quite a little, here is such a +...-"

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №119209
 08.10.2015
Video discussion "Massive attack with high-precision weapons on ISIS objects in Syria from the Caspian Sea":

xxx: And the igloo is what, you sit, smoke a hash, shoot in the sky, and then from the sky in response to a rocket fucking.
XXX: Just in the right place

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №119208
 08.10.2015
xxx: the man
XXX: The sale of motorcycles
xxx: because I'm not an expert, but there went fucking snow

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №119207
 08.10.2015
Somehow annoying the phrase "Android for teasers"...

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №119206
 08.10.2015
Coocos: My iPad Air has been upgraded to 9.0, it’s getting worse.
Anonymous: My iPad 4 has been upgraded to 9.0.2, and has started to work better.
My iPad broke and I started working better.

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №119205
 08.10.2015
The xxx:

Code of ZZZ:

Boolean B
if ( b.toString().length <5 ) {
......
} is

YYY: I would have walked along the line symbolically and looked every charm in the eyes)

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №119204
 08.10.2015
I hate when they leave answers to texts out of debt here. But this is the case when it really needs to.
A beautiful girl from the history of 18503. Your problem can be solved. If you really love the data that was on that hard drive, contact the information recovery center or any service center, situations where the data can not be recovered very little. Another thing that data recovery is a pleasure is not cheap.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №119203
 08.10.2015
LJ Kalugin
by 1972. I am 5 years old.
My grandfather and I go for a pen. In front of it is visible a standing jean figure with a thick-walled chestnut hose to the poop. And the second behind her with long hair. "Aunt " - I show my grandfather on the figure. I liked these jeans and hair. I can’t find words to explain this to my grandfather. And then the figure turns and I see that she has a thick beard on her face. And the second too. The "UncleI am shocked to ask my grandfather. And grandfather, a quiet retiree, who worked as a telephone operator in the State Duma, then fought in the first world war, two soldiers of George (God thank you did not kill anyone! He prayed before he died. The Connector. Bullet, gait, square artillery, wire. Hence the Order), a member of the Savinkov anti-Bolshevik underground, in the second war - a doctor, put on the feet of the "Normandy-Neman" pilots, miraculously avoided arrest, and before retirement engaged in his therapeutic physical education, a non-partisan colonel of the medical service tells me a phrase, the meaning of which I did not understand then, but remembered for the rest of my life. “Don’t pay attention, Serjozh,” said my grandfather, “these are like theirs....FUTURISTS.”

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №119202
 08.10.2015
About the cat, just started.
My cat has come across a period when wide and warm kinescopic TVs have gradually shifted to narrower ones. And the cat, respectively, on the contrary, grew in width. It was difficult for him to reconcile with the last model... Since then, such scratches have remained on the plastic.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №119201
 07.10.2015
In the morning, the cat doesn’t have half a mouth. I inserted the rebëpinduley̆, so that the animal would not be mocked. In the evening, the moustaches are absent. I inserted morë pinduley̆ rebëknu. I sit for an hour, and this insane mouth approaches the system and into the refrigerator on the sidĕ cover clamps up the eyebrows....
Yoŭll ask me for forgiveness.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №119200
 07.10.2015
Such an impression that all state bodies working with the population have chosen the motto of the 21st century, innovation, bureaucracy, the base does not work, come tomorrow.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №119199
 07.10.2015
xxx: tried to congratulate a friend of dr with an old motorcycle
The wise ITAP offered to congratulate comrades on the day of burning.
X: I didn’t have to make wishes for long.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №119198
 07.10.2015
I would now be happy to read quotes about the dirty WOT, rather than about your children, husbands and other relatives.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №119197
 07.10.2015
Answer to Mailer:
Question: "Which will help stronger on the Judo/Sambo street or the Greco-Roman Fight"
The best answer is "Depending on your composition.
If you are thin and low, go to judo, if you are a little higher, go to sambo. Well, if you are in the body, then naturally in Greek-Roman.
I think it’s the best of all."

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №119196
 07.10.2015
A fun young group. All 20-25 years. The atmosphere at work is affective. They suspected a colleague that he quietly eats cookies and does not share it with anyone. When he once again closed his closet with the key and went out, the boys changed the closet with the neighbor’s. Close to lunch, a colleague tried to open the box, but the key, of course, did not fit. He fought over her for half a day, spit, left the keys in the castle and left for work. We opened the first tub, removed the cookie, and changed the tubes back. You should have seen his face when the box opened in one movement, but it was empty. The jacket was for the whole day.

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №119195
 07.10.2015
When I was working for BPM, the head of the broadcasting department was getting to work on an electric car from Brighton every day. He was reading the book The Exorcist. According to him, it was the worst of all the books he had read. Moreover, as he said, it was so sinister that he could not even read it to the end. And one weekend he went to Brighton’s coastline and threw the book as far into the sea as possible. And I went to the bookstore, where I bought the same book, soaked it well under the crane and put it in the box of his desk.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №119194
 07.10.2015
Oil – 52 and the dollar – 63. Putin was born in the year 52, and today he is 63. All overtaken again.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna