bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №125856
 24.03.2016
He listened to a conversation between two girls (approximately 10-11 years old) on the playground. One of them is called Maya, and the other I do not remember how, we will call her Dasha.

D: I’ve heard you’re looking for someone to give your fish?! to

M is yes.

Q: Have you found anyone?

M is no.

D: Give them to me!

M is NO! Never ever!

I was very interested here)

D: Why is it?? to

M: I gave you a hammer that year, so you drowned it!

D:...It was already my hamster, I exchanged it for chocolate with you...

I’ll be afraid of this...

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №125855
 24.03.2016
I want to share a rather funny case from my studies in honey. I took an examination in anatomy. While I was preparing for my ticket, one cute girl answered and one of her questions was from the dentist (we are therapists ourselves). The examiner mocked her a little (it was seen that he was pleased with her answers) and the last asked how many teeth are changed (a question of the kind of the lightest, even the twins knew that only one-milk to permanent).

The girl so stunned and said:

and two!

The teacher asks interested:

And what ones?

D: Well, the milk dick for permanent, and the permanent for gold!

The whole room was worn out, and I remember it was put 5 )))

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №125854
 24.03.2016
Wake up the disc store. It was 10 years ago.



Mother and 15-year-old daughter arrived.

- My daughter bought a disc with referrals from you, and she was given two, the teacher said that she wasn't writing.



A boy of 19.

I bought a collection of courses from you in jurisprudence. And there they are old, I had to send all night links to articles, just got 3 - return the money.

On what basis?

I am a lawyer! Now I am filing a complaint to the city administration, you will be covered immediately.



Children's encyclopedia of Cyril and Methodius was released on 1 DVD disc or 3 x SD, a box 3 times larger, respectively.

Do you read the DVD?

- Yes

Here is the disc.

Give me something more.

If you have a drive reading DVD you will be more comfortable using the DVD version.

- What do you rub me, give me where more discs, why do I need a small encyclopedia?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №125853
 24.03.2016
Something has happened lately all at once. Failure, money and so on. and etc.
I go out of the store, upset. I turn my head to the right, and at twenty meters, near the transformator cabin, a couple kisses. The wind, the shit around, the washing, and they kiss.
Just like I was in my childhood. raised the mood.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №125852
 24.03.2016
to this:
It is fun to see how the concept of "premium" was transformed. From a fairly rare plush to a compulsory bucket. Something like teas, which was once at your discretion, and now is almost not obligatory and at least 15% more.
............
And do you not know that now we under the premium do not understand the premium, in its original understanding, but simply "not mandatory", and for the frequent and not official part of the ZP with the minimum salary :(

[ + 38 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125851
 24.03.2016
xxx: at the banquet here they argued what the midi looks like by taste
xxx: nashah-stessnaya from the neighboring department that on sperm
xxx: we only blinked with our eyes, as our bearded macho-sisadmin responds
xxx: "really look like sperm eight-legged"
XXX: What should I do? I wanted to mess with him...

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №125850
 24.03.2016
and ha! In a rural restaurant in Tuscany, they ordered a table for tonight. When they arrived, they could not find themselves on the list for a long time. It turned out that we were four heads – the Fortunato family.
“I’ve already told you that in Starbucks I’m called Gosha, because “George” writes very blurry on the glasses and calls anyone but not George. One day I took a glass of cappuccino from the stand and it was written “The Horse.” So Fortuna is a good name, agree.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №125849
 24.03.2016
It’s not as terrible to catch a virus as it is to catch a Chinese antivirus.

[ + 18 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125848
 24.03.2016
XXX: Will we go to the shabbas in the superland anyway?
You are my unseen witch.
Yes, we will go to Superland in Shabbas.
YYY: And you need to turn off will have on the keyboard auto correction
YYY: And I have

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №125847
 24.03.2016
Thus e. Before the birth, you did not know the size of your benefit, how will you live on it you did not think, and now suddenly came to consciousness?

You are idiot. The origin was just about not giving birth to children for the benefit. Father of two children. It’s scary for the country, yes.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №125846
 24.03.2016
From the news discussion:

He crashed into two cars and was afraid to get out. I think it’s cool."

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №125845
 24.03.2016
Dice asks, is there a word "thickness" in Russian?
I - yes
How is it written?
I am so written. At the end, at
has written. I watched it "in the thick"
Let me say "You wrote in two words?)"
he - the autocorrection emphasized me, I corrected, the emphasis was removed.
Ppc)) At the thickness of the earth put your literacy.)

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №125844
 24.03.2016
DDD: The Spiritual Session? is enchanting! Prepare the record, don’t break the glass, I’m going.
Dvd and edu. I will be your priest.
A priest of love?
The Priest of Food!

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №125843
 24.03.2016
Yes to! Who told grandmothers that Yandex could watch where the bus was? Now they require young people at the stops "see the appendix".

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125842
 24.03.2016
They say that worse than a fool is only a fool with the initiative... But I will tell you: even worse a fool with the possibilities of its implementation...
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
These are our members!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №125841
 23.03.2016
Oh, that was life!
measure the width.
And now the screams...

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125840
 23.03.2016
Dad (under 60 years old) is a typical Soviet engineer. Of those who really love everything that is broken, to repair with the help of a solder, a mouth of blue isolants and such a mother.

In general, the parents of the house broke the radio receiver (which is wired broadcasting), and the mother is bored without it to mess in the kitchen. Dad began to shoot to repair, and accidentally turned out the outlet in which the receiver stuck - it was dirty. Returning the socket to its place, he accidentally stepped down on the board, so as not to fall, he grabbed the door of the dishwasher. It did not fall, but the door had to be repaired. In the process of repairing the door broke the screwdriver (this is a real mystery). In the receiver, as it turned out, the wire was ripped off, paired it to the place, the father dropped a joint on the table sheet (putting the newspaper - for the bugs)...

In general, - my mother breathed hard, telling this story, - saving 300 rubles is still very expensive!

[ + 18 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125839
 23.03.2016
Dealing with the story "Share your infection", you would better address your doctor's splash. Do you know how it happens that a child has only 37.5? What kind of doctor at home? I will go to the clinic!"

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №125838
 23.03.2016
Oh well!

... in China, where inflation is also not low...

how much I remember 6 popular rubles for a dollar ± 10%, the rupee for this time 5 times devalued

And let me ask how you propose to create savings if more than half of the population of the Russian Federation lives below the poverty line. No one has cancelled Harvey. You can copy if instead of Seychelles to rest in Nice. If you choose between pasta for 12 rubles. And for 14 - in securities can only be invested a sexual fox. No more though.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №125837
 23.03.2016
I ate butter in Domodedovo. I told my wife that the Gypsies were robbed.

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