bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №37638
 20.10.2010
A conversation with a girl who became a translator and teaches foreigners Russian.

YYYY
What are INTURISTS?

XXX is
Normally

XXX is
Working

YYYY
Teach them to struggle.)

XXX is
A Frenchman says his cat is called Vodka

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №37637
 20.10.2010
<Red> We have a poster on the garbage pipeline "The garbage should not be thrown".
<General Fajlura> :)
<Red> No, it’s all right, the house is still folded, and so on the pipe bags with a beaten plate were sent.
<Red> But our people suffer from the torments of unrealized creativity. A couple of days ago "Garbage" was crushed, and "Troops" was written.
<Red> And today it’s gone. And with a small accurate handwriting wrote "Enemy invaders".
<General Fajlura> :)))
<Red> I did not resist, led to compromise - "Enemy invaders troops"...

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №37636
 20.10.2010
Today at the "Lighthouse" The director terribly asked everyone if they were able to do all the work on time. And I just asked if I was able to do my personal life.)

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №37635
 20.10.2010
Do you want to get the smoke back?
YYYY: Yes
YYY: or at least monthly

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №37634
 20.10.2010
I dreamed of sex all day!
Sorry, but not today
Okay, I’ll go home, I’ll be handblowing... eh... on Pamela Anderson! For example, do not consider it a virtual betrayal.
It does not eat! She is alive!! Fuck those who are dead!! to
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx! to

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №37633
 20.10.2010
xxx: Listen, how Serege comes to mind such combinations, are we all in shock?
YYYYYYYYYYYYYY Here, as a child, we had a large sandbox in the yard, everyone in it was glued, and there was a boy who was all glued from the run. He was older and nobody told him anything. So Serega once brought a large cage from the house, filled it with sand, put a brick in the middle and made a pebble (a sin not to pin). The boy did not sin and broke his fingers.
XXX is Opa.
YYY: The boy then crumbled in the plaster, and Serega crumbled over him, morally suppressed, you understand? What a pattern, what two patterns. This at 6 years. So the matter for the small remained, grow up and get an economic education

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №37632
 20.10.2010
I watch advertisements on local TV.
A true masterpiece:

"We are digging the wells. Delivery is possible"

I thought a lot...

[ + 37 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №37631
 20.10.2010
Nenuco: Grabbed worried perverse, wearing you salmon! My name is Nenuco!! to

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №37630
 20.10.2010
Roman (23:47:46 19/10/2010)
The writer. Two days ago, from the balcony, I saw a man coming on a murdered penny, knocking and knocking on the door - the door is not closed. And then he with the words, "Job your mother!"" as the door knocked and she closed, but at the same time opened the trunk, which he also knocked for 5 minutes, until he broke the antenna... And here out of the man broke out all the greatness and power of the Russian language. And it broke out loud and "multi-storey". Tradu he gave out for 10 minutes, so that the glass shakes throughout the courtyard. And now the most fun: today from Lenka (from the first floor) learned that her dog (a type of mops), after this incident, the second day shakes, sleeps badly from everything shakes and has a regular chair every half an hour.

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №37629
 20.10.2010
Riddle: My 2-year-old son is very overwhelmed with baby toys... playing in the country in the ground... I look, a painful toy is suspicious. I look like nearby. He is having fun with the dog’s skull.

[ + 45 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №37628
 20.10.2010
I went back to the apartment, no one’s home. Open the cranes on the pipes (so that hot and cold water was). In an hour I go to the toilet and feel that the carpet on the floor is wet - again the crane on the pipe flows a little. Hanged the carpet to dry, washed the floor - all smooth.
After 5 minutes:
With the girl a month like in a quarrel, so decided to "tune out". After some manipulations at the monitor with the porn site ran to the toilet to bring the early preparations to a logical completion. But half that melt is not high yet!! to
The conclusion: The parents who returned soon found me naked without consciousness, with my pants down and the “essence of life” flowing from the causal place.
If it wasn’t a postponement from the military committee in connection with a brainwashing, I would probably hang myself, so as not to feel like a fool from the American youth comedy.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №37627
 20.10.2010
...and then we will go with concerts in the world tour, earn a bunch of days, buy the coolest touring motorcycles and go on the world tour...
Which is going around ?

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №37626
 20.10.2010
What is "net"? There is no such word!
Okay, we go on.

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №37625
 20.10.2010
Yes, there will be no extreme colds, just a normal Russian winter will come to Europe.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №37624
 20.10.2010
The heating in the houses has not yet been turned on, but in the courtyard for a month do not bring the sprinkled trees.
XXX: They are insinuating

[ + 55 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №37623
 20.10.2010
Near the clinic stops a strange stranger, driving an uncertain age aunt with a drunken face, a short haircut, without leaving the car gets a small bowl, fit in the hand, confidently splashes on the hair from all sides (lak?On the neck (deodorant) And in the mouth! It’s worth three in one :D

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №37622
 20.10.2010
Are you still training?
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY Form must beined
XXX: What kind of sport?
yyy: traditional: fitness, yoga, and pilates.
yyy: no fanaticism 63 times a week
Yyy: Three in the meaning

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №37621
 20.10.2010
There is one farmer in our brave village of Brinkovsk, a man who was rich in seeds, well, in the sense of growing. And the man must be said to be a very worker-peasant kind. And here with a friend of his combiiner, right from the seed mill went to buy Lexus in the salon, come with a clay bag of cash, to them immediately the guard, managers, "Go to the ch...y from here the colchon," who silently opens the bag with a bubble, managers without any transition "Sorry gentlemen, did not know, you want coffee?"

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №37620
 20.10.2010
Even from good deeds, many trick to take advantage.

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №37619
 20.10.2010
My friend Sergei told me.
Sergey is an exemplary family man, and his younger brother Andrei is still a walking man.
And here they go somehow on Andrey's "four": Andrey is driving, his wife is next to him, Sergey is behind. Andrei stopped buying cigarettes. At this time, his wife climbs into a mess and suddenly finds a package of condoms there.
Her face takes an expression: “Well, wait!The packaging is returned to place. Sergey sees this, he understands that his brother is about to have a ridiculous scandal, but what to do? Andrei sits behind the wheel, touches, Serega in the rear-view mirror all kinds of semaforites to him. And finally Andrew arrives.
10 seconds of deep reflection - pulls out the suction. Naturally, the car is shaking, swallowing. Andrei grumbled dissatisfied: “Well, again, and as much as you can...” goes out, opens the hood, runs there and cries to his wife:
“Galia, there in the barracks of the Gondons – take away one!” The wife gives, receives.
Andryuka breaks the packaging, unfolds, clamps on something in the engine and clamps. When he sits behind the wheel, he drives the sink. The car starts normally. The wife is satisfied. Andrei in the mirror blinking Sergey.

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