The origin of one profanation.

Communicating with readers of my unforgettable fairy tales is a great pleasure. At the same time, the opportunity to look at history from a different angle, through the prism of a fresh outward look.
It is especially useful to communicate with attentive and demanding readers.
For example, one of my most respected commentators called wearing office clothes outside the hospital “profanation.”
Day two thought — I have to admit her right, so it is.
Not to let it get in the eye - a jacket in my climate is needed almost always, especially in the morning.
And it is not that I am alone in this transgression - this habit is quite common among my colleagues in our small hospital: surgeons, orthopedists, obstetricians, anesthesiologists.

I thought about the origins of this my rooted habit of wearing an operating uniform, scrubs, on duty and the day after it, which is generally reduced to half my life.
And I found the reason, the zero point of reference of my professional career.
While I was working in a large university center – I’t think of it, the duty was inside the hospital, after completing the shift we went home, without the slightest chance to return before the next day. Wear clothes before and after work.
My transition to work in a small town and a small hospital changed the type of duty — they were on duty at home, hanging with pagers and mobile phones.
Injury and childbirth—mostly, sometimes resuscitation or rest—help in airway control, in short—something urgent.
And then on one of the nursing nights, listening to my cell phone, I walked around the house.
The house was old and required care, what I did - I can't remember for years. I remember it was dusty and hot.
The call. Reception rest, the sounds of screams and panic, the reception doctor - an anesthesiologist and otolaryngologist, urgently, prepare a tracheotomy!
The necessary explanation: the receptionist is a universal with serious training and skills, able to hold positions before the arrival of heavy cavalry of specialists, if he panics - the situation is really difficult, they are about to lose the patient because of the inability to control the delivery of oxygen to the body.
Adrenaline broke out - as it burned, and I ripped the car from the spot to the gallop - I overcame the road to the hospital twice as fast as usual, flew into the receiver and started to work.
The man survived, the top decided - not the time for him, sent a squad of medical angels to move our hands and brains in the direction of success.
I can't remember the details, but here's what I remember well - a feeling of embarrassment, even shame...
Why is?
Judge yourself: having successfully completed the resuscitation measures, I stood in front of a large family of a patient man at 20 and approximately the same number of employees - in a dirty t-shirt with disgusting spots of all colors, in home shorts of not the first youth and not the shorts of an uncertain color, under which our eternal oceanic breeze was quite fresh.
Poor relatives were confused - not a doctor, but a misunderstanding, a shameful man, not a doctor!
It is possible that this episode was the beginning of my many years of profanation.
And maybe the fact that I’m just shaking my head, myself and you, hiding my laziness – the main cause of everything happening or not happening in my life... who knows what kind of cockroaches live in that gray head! @Michael Ashnin

Instagramer: “And today I’ll tell you that the floor is below, and the ceiling is above!”
The audience: “As it is right! Right to the point! You write so well! very vital.”

Previously, the understanding of the sluggishness of being and bad sleep under the influence of the dangers of this world were considered an element of adulthood.

And now it is recommended to avoid all the psychotraumatic for the child, so that he grows up, sneezes and falls asleep, because before he was not told about such a shame.

When a woman asks a man’s opinion, she wants him to guess her, not her own.

Recently, his daughter went to the Olympics in the "environmental world". While waiting, I heard the story.
There was a boy. Father stuck for a long time in remote places, mother deprived of parental rights. I raise my grandmother. They live modestly. He is a hard-working man, but teaching is hard. And just then for the whole class with him in all ways praised the medalists of the city Olympiad in mathematics. And the boy also wanted to be in the zenith of fame. After a sober assessment of his knowledge, he stopped on the subject "the surrounding world". The unstoppable examination of the subject gave him 1 place in the class. It was a pass to the city Olympics. He did not get the prize. All the participants remembered him, because after the end of the Olympics he approached everyone and asked for a long time what questions were caught. He recorded everything in a notebook. In the third class, the story repeated. The same flight, the recording of questions in the notebook. 4th grade and the winner of the Olympics. When the letter was handed to him, he was attached, but his lips trembled. God let him not waste this perseverance in the future.

The Scottish village, the assembly, says the old man.
I have two bad news. First, our lord restored the right of the first night.
Why him? He is “Blue”!
This is the second bad news!

Xxx: The first pet was a hamster, it lived with me no more than 3 days. I don't know why, but on the third day he died :(

Yyy: Food to drink tried

Xxx: Yes, but it didn’t bring him back to life.

Recently, his daughter went to the Olympics in the "environmental world". While waiting, I heard the story.

There was a boy. Father stuck for a long time in remote places, mother deprived of parental rights. I raise my grandmother. They live modestly.



He is a hard-working man, but teaching is hard. And just then for the whole class with him in all ways praised the medalists of the city Olympiad in mathematics. And the boy also wanted to be in the zenith of fame. After a sober assessment of his knowledge, he stopped on the subject "the surrounding world". The unstoppable examination of the subject gave him 1 place in the class. It was a pass to the city Olympics.



He did not get the prize. All the participants remembered him, because after the end of the Olympics he approached everyone and asked for a long time what questions were caught. He recorded everything in a notebook. In the third class, the story repeated. The same flight, the recording of questions in the notebook. 4th grade and the winner of the Olympics. When the letter was handed to him, he was attached, but his lips trembled. God let him not waste this perseverance in the future.

Politicians never lie, they just say what people want to hear.

In 1985, cosmonauts Janibekov and Savinov reanimated the deforested orbital station "Saliut-7". This flight is considered to be the most difficult flight in the history of space. The power supply of the station was disrupted, it did not communicate. For repair were sent Janibekov and Savinov on the ship "Soyuz T-13". They went off and took up repairs. The repair was about as follows: some block was removed, checked by the tester, normal returned to place, faulty were replaced. And here, after replacing the next block, Janibekov clearly heard a calm voice behind his back: "Good, daddy!". His first thought was, “All, dog, goodbye, cosmonautics – my roof has gone.” Then I noticed that Savian's nose was white too. This was a bit reassuring - they could not go to the two roofs at once. I turned around (who else could be there besides them?) They started hysterically.
The previous crew left a cassette with the "White Sun of the Desert" in a video magnetophone. While the station was destroyed, the visitor slept, and as he asked, he woke up. Just in the same place when the Red Army Sukhov approaches the axacals. A quiet panic began in the CUP when there was heard the hysterical whisper of the astronauts, and they could not clearly report the situation for a long time.

There will be something to remember in old age.
In old age, you will remember where you put your glasses.

About 27 years ago, two people had sex, and now I have to go to work every day.

I went to the market at the age of 12 and bought a daily five-pound chicken 6 pieces. The parents were in shock.

I brought them to the roofed balcony and raised this gang for 3 months. She fed them with wheat with eggs and, on my mother’s advice, with butter.

Everyone came up with a name, went out with them in the yard, they followed me.

And then in August I went to the camp on a trip, and when I arrived I learned that the chickens had gone to my grandmother in the village.

“I don’t have a grandmother in the village,” I said.

“We found your chickens a great grandmother,” the parents replied, “and, in general, don’t get distracted, eat a delicious soup.

The 90s was

When I was under 12, we kept chickens right at home in the winter, such were the times. I came back from school with a few chickens in boxes to lay eggs. My grandmother told me to bring those back to the grocery store and the eggs to the refrigerator. I look into the box, and there are two chickens and one egg. Well, because of all my strength, I was not confused and remembered how my grandmother did - I naked the little boy and slipped into the claw, touched the egg. The second chicken. So I lost my little virginity 🥺

YYY: Oh, tell me something else. I just ate nuts here, and I almost swallowed.

A brief morale of all network stories about customer and executor conflicts:

1st Do you provide services? Always take an advance payment. Otherwise they throw.

2nd Do you order services? Never give an advance payment. Otherwise they throw.

What happened to Roskomnadzor? I recently downloaded a porn video that contained cigarettes!

When I had a Riesenschnauzer (approximately in the late 1990s and early 2000s), we often walked with him to the dog square, where many surrounding dogs and their owners gathered in the evenings. It usually lasted an hour or two. The dogs are very busy communicating with each other. And the owners... First of all, you’ll swallow all the dogs. Play with some. The rest of the time we are talking about everything.
And she came there with a shepherd named Lara. I don’t remember how the housewife was called, unfortunately, because dog owners usually recognize each other by the dogs... Lara was very old and very smart. The teams performed any and instantly. And she was itching all the time - from old age, she had something with her skin, or eczema, or something. No, the wool did not slip, it just itched. In the free time from performing the teams (and the teams were few, she just walked out) she approached one, then another, and asked her to scratch. Rarely anyone refused. She’s scratching her side and back, and she’s grinding for pleasure. They stop scratching - he runs a little and sticks to someone else.
And then we talked with Lara’s mistress... well, of course, about dogs. In particular, that her Lara will do everything she orders her, regardless of the personality (this was emphasized). For example, she says, let’s argue that I will order her to attack you – she will attack, and will not see that acquaintance, to which she is always pleased. And I will say stop - it will stop immediately, and it will behave again as if nothing had happened. I knew all this, not the first day of acquaintance, but I had one clever consideration... And we argue, I say that it will not work!
And here, she goes away some distance, and commands, “Lara, take him!”
Lara rushed straight to my side. She runs, and I say to her, “Lara, go swallow!”
Lara immediately brakes with all four of her legs and turns to the side - the cheeks! I forgot about attack and thinking.
I chew her, Lara grumbled, the housewife shouted, “Oh, you are unconscious! I am you!
Lara guiltyly lowers her head and presses her ears, but continues to bump and does not attempt to retreat.
The owner managed to convince her not to punish her. I just knew the chat code from her dog.

Failed attempts to have sex were called yoga, and successful attempts to have sex were called kamasutra.

Son: “Dad, I don’t want to go to the garden.”

I said, “Friend, I don’t want to go to work. I’ll go to work today and say, “I don’t want to go to work,” and the boss uncle will say, “Then I don’t want to pay you a salary.” Do you know what happens if you don’t get paid?”

The son: “What?”

I: "Then I won't be able to buy us tickets to the water park, to the circus, I won't be able to buy clothes and even bread."

Son: "And I'll come to the kindergarten and tell my aunt teacher that I don't want to go to the kindergarten."

I said, “What will she answer you?”

The son said, “Don’t go.”

My son 3 years.

My son changed the phone number once, I didn’t remember it right away. And here somehow I pick him up, answers a pleasant male voice:

Hello to you!

Sorry, I probably didn’t get there.

Where did you plan to go? (with a clear smile)

Well... it would be good to get on the Forbes list and eventually go to heaven (laughs).

I’m afraid I won’t help you with that, sorry.

Okay, sorry, please say goodbye!

I apologize for not helping. to Goodbye.

After a few days, the story repeats, I again accidentally type the wrong way (then I found out that the number is correct, and the prefix is not that operator called by habit).

Hello to you!

-But, sorry, I was wrong (I did not understand that the subscriber has already known before).

Well why do you say that, you are not mistaken, you just haven’t got there yet. What about the success of the Forbes list?

Well he, I changed my mind.

It’s a pity, but I’m already thinking about how to help you. And the paradise too.

Okay, sorry generously, I hope this won’t happen again, goodbye!

And I hope the opposite. and call.

I hang the phone. I study the situation, how I get it wrong constantly - I find out the reason, I calm down.

And after a week of calling, I take a rub, there is the same voice:

Hello to Hello. You didn’t call me for a long time, I was worried.

I learned the right number. We can end the communication.

Not just that! You make me very happy. You probably have a family, children, a husband.

Well, about...

But in any case, I still want to tell you that my name is Misha Starostin. Call more frequently