bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №144334
 30.08.2017
In a well-nourished person, the center of gravity shifts. As a result, it is relentlessly cloned into a horizontal position.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №144333
 30.08.2017
I will tell you about my experience of restoring the Porsche 911 (997), 12 years old, I got a car by chance, through a friend, an American, having worked under a contract in Europe for 5 years, returned home, and sold the car for funny money, at a price quite comparable to the new Lada. At the same time, the car has a real range of 70 thousand kilometers, confirmed by the dealer, the car is not beaten, although inside and the salon is quite crushed, he drove from home to the office and around the city, and this is frequent landings and landings... To import this car back to the states he did not want... Here and gave for the first proposed amount...

Having arranged the suspension and, in any case, having installed the eternal IMS, it was an intermediate shaft bearing (of what it is, as I will tell you another time), reworked the rear buffer from America to Europe (simply removing 2 rubber buffers and gluing large holes after them), put a wide number, and - took on the interior.

First, I bought a Pioneer magnet with navigation, touchscreen, good sound... Then, I thought about the skin in the cabin... I came to good acquaintances, engaged in stretching, almost with the mood to give them the keys right away...

Talking to them surprised me.
Do you make the car for yourself or for sale?
for myself
-there is such a matter...the skin, if natural, what is available, the price of the question with the work: chairs, doors, wheel, console 1800 euros, it is very beautiful, soft, smells delicious, the salon will be like new, noble, but all this is very short, skin is thin, in a couple of months will go bubbles, stretch, shorter, I do not recommend.
Or you can order expensive branded leather, but it is very expensive, a salon somewhere in 3 thousand euros will stand...
There is also a German vinyl, the quality is old, no wear, the price is half of natural leather, but after the natural quality German leather that already stands in the car, the look will be a little poor and not "Porschew"...
Try, restore the salon, yes, now the skin is all lost, wrinkles, folds, white spots on the background of the black skin of the chairs are just terrible, the pillows are sold, and it seems that everything is gone, but there is no hole on it, no scratch, and the rear seat in general, unused, just refresh it... In short, there is one way... it will not work, come, change the skin is never too late... And they told me a complete instruction, what and how to do...

I did everything as I was advised: on a warm and sunny summer day, I take a sponge, clothes, and half a liter of olive oil, carefully impregnate both front seats and also leather safety pillows in the door, almost all the bottle of oil (!), the excess oil carefully removed with a cloth, after which, I close the car and leave it for three days in the sunshine on the parking lot (in fact, a whole week has passed, left to rest)

When I arrive, I open the car...my god! The skin was beautifully swollen, it became swollen, soft, all the former weaknesses and wrinkles magically disappeared, the chairs became like new, although the appearance and damaged some white strips on the sides, but with this I will cope easily...

I take a black cream-painted Salamanca (in any case not Kiwi, I was warned by the masters), evenly paint the surface of the chairs with a sponge, leave for a couple of hours, then a special cleanser for the skin (there is on all tanks, the price of type 3 euros) - I treat the surface of the chairs, let it dry, take a white towel and polish the chairs pleasantly glittered, but the towel left a barely noticeable gray plaque, then again I repeat the procedure of cleaning the chairs with a white "cream - cleanser and conditioner for the skin", and again with a thinning white towel - it remains white! This means that all the paint has absorbed into the skin, the clothes will not be worn, any traces of wear completely disappeared, no wrinkles, folds... The chairs look... say, not so that the car just came out of the car with 0 km distance, but about as after 1 year of operation, not older, all clean, gentle, into the car became pleasant...

It remains only to say thank you to the guys from the company for the stretching of salons for honesty and useful advice, because in their interest it would be not to miss the client and load me a full stretch of the salon around the circle, for very good money. However, thanks to the excellent reputation, they have orders for almost six months in advance... Even advertising has stopped...

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №144332
 30.08.2017
A robot vacuum cleaner slips behind me. I am old, right?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №144331
 30.08.2017
Is the engineering approach better? Without GMOs, we will die of starvation in 20-30 years.

As far as I understand, the seeds are still exposed to radiation or chemicals. This does not change the fact that mutants appear only in the next generation, but filters out the most vicious problems.
The trick is that mutants are not considered GMOs.
One thing is that you are wrong – they are still sorted to identify and fix mutations.
But the other is right - control of side mutations is almost impossible, and their risk is almost 100%.
And such mutants are now the main mass of seeds and seedlings. Now hardly find ' verified by centuries' varieties.

With genetic engineering, everything is much safer, and the method of implementing the gene is generally borrowed from nature. There are risks, but they can be controlled, as all results are scientifically predictable.
Yes, it all rests on the goodwill of scientists. But it is so everywhere.
But how can this be explained to a person who is watching television, or to a whole horde of people who have studied genetics from Marvel Comics?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №144330
 30.08.2017
How is your relationship with the Scientific Director?
Well, at least the article is drawn.
(Mama is changing her face)
Not in a legal sense.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №144329
 30.08.2017
“I don’t drink, but every Monday I’m forced to sit at work in a pair of other people’s cups.
It sounds like the name of an old Russian romance – “In the pairs of a stranger...”

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №144328
 30.08.2017
This was the time before, not what it is now.
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY As I remember now, every species in a cave. All natural, no chemistry and not to mention, the air is the cleanest, excellent ecology! There is no bureaucracy, no bureaucracy. And meat without hormones - mammoths were dropped and the whole tribe food for a month. And the stone seals? Now they don’t do that at all! The grandmothers were common. I want back!

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №144327
 30.08.2017
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I stopped arguing with my wife about the names of our children, after she said, "Listen, they will have your paternity and surname, let me choose a name, but I still give birth to them!"
YYY: Well the norm, ch. The name of his children will be chosen by the wife, and the paternity and surname will be chosen by the mother.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №144326
 30.08.2017
The deputies evacuated the car from the tractor - which he is very dissatisfied with...
The deputies complained about the opacity of the evacuation system. “The situation is very simple: a law was adopted – especially since I was the developer of this law – but this law has such shadow structures to demand money from people,” Sergey Titkov said.

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №144325
 29.08.2017
Look at the statistics of armed attacks and you will understand that those very antisocial personalities have already obtained a trunk and far from one, but law-obedient citizens walk with bare hands. But the problem is not in the difficulty of getting a trunk, but in our self-defense law, according to which you can be jailed for excess, even if you have three freezes with machine guns against you, and you have a plastic fork in your hands. Therefore, a peaceful man will not buy weapons, because there are no fools to sit. And the bandits have it.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №144324
 29.08.2017
As another example, we can take Switzerland, where every servant has two weapons, and everyone serves, except the disabled.

And Israel, where the Wild West is still, the Indians will pull out the pine and make a rocket out of it, as in an anecdote, they will come to remove the scalp from the wrong, and with about the same intermediate outcome.

A counter-example is New Zealand, where citizens of even the smallest initiative to protect themselves otherwise than from breeding rabbits do not have the right to show, but nevertheless crime below the plinth, because there are fantastic fanatical tricks and pulling them by the buttocks will only be a psychic (and if you don't have a straight life without the protection of society, then a straight road into their ranks, there will be pleasure for a new trick).

And the counter we see in Australia, which is inhabited by former prisoners, "the law" is psychologically perceived as "the word of Pahan", and it is so, the bars fight for everything, including rainwater, it is not possible to pull the rocket of the house itself, and in general, "Chippolino" in real life, because the authorities and citizens have a completely criminal mentality of the vertical barracks hierarchy, the simple citizens of "the barracks", or even "the petouches", and no one will give them the barracks.

And in some African countries mint can rush for the fact that you did not kill the robber, now his state in prison to feed for ten years, and will offer to turn away for a minute.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №144323
 29.08.2017
Chitos: Crying over the forehead from the tracker that sits around 20(!!!) Marquez's book "100 Years of Solitude"

[ + 11 - ] Comment quote №144322
 29.08.2017
When I was young, I was the one who is now called a hoodie. A lot of incitement to the militia, fought almost every day, once miraculously did not sit (the chauvin came out of the coma and gave testimony that the other cut him). Then he grew up, met a real girl, now the son is studying at the institute, and the daughter is soon graduating from school.
I am all that for. If I had a volley then (and I had so dreamed of it), I would at best have been released not so long ago, and in the worst... the cemetery administration, due to the abandonment of the tomb and after 20 years from the date of burial, would have given permission for new burials in the place of my grave and there would be no trace of my stay in this best of worlds.

[ + 24 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №144321
 29.08.2017
Revolt, refined violence and the struggle for power – read the Greek myths!

A collection of Jewish folk tales. Righteous Lot knew his daughters. Abraham submitted his sister-wife Sarah to Pharaoh. The merciful God is melting, burning (Sodom), throwing stones, treating (under Moses), sending sicknesses... The righteous of the chosen people on every page kill, deceive, plunder, rob.

Hitler lived according to the Bible – he acted in the same way as the saints sung in the Book.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №144320
 29.08.2017
xxx: I go to the page to the girl, I look at the photos - and you imagine - with each photo she is more beautiful and more beautiful!
YYYYYYYYYYYY The pictures are getting older and older.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №144319
 29.08.2017
Ms is
Last year, a chair was forgotten on the street, such an old Soviet, even with springs. In the spring, the nest is grown.
Pipets painting, in the middle of the house there is a chair and a whisper. When trying to reset or pull it out of the chair, the sonder-commandant of the hammer flies out to wet anyone.)

Lo who
Soon very soon, it will probably take off and fly off with a cricket clone.)))

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №144318
 29.08.2017
In the pockets of the pants lie two smartphones, which are launched virtual machines, united into a cluster. Can this be called a cloud in the pants?

[ + 92 - ] Comment quote №144317
 29.08.2017
Bondarev Oleg
3 hours ·
The idea of a modern detective novel. I do not know how to name. I choose between the "Barbershop of Death" and "The Knife in the Spinner". Propose other options? The main character is a hipster detective in a board cardigan.

Commentary
Mickhail: Girosprut
Andrei: The Doors of Death
Sigway of Destiny
Yuri: "Engineer at outstaffing" - a very relevant topic
Andrei: "The whip of the dead". "The Body at Timbuilding" "Coworking of Killers" - ready trilogy
Here is the finished epigraph:
- Hi, we are vegans-weepers from the neighboring crossfit center. Want to talk about love for life?
- Mother of God... Bring a shotgun, these creatures have found us!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №144316
 29.08.2017
In the late 1960s in the United States on the market appeared a new delicious variety of potato "Lenape" (Lenape). The beautiful yellow color and high ammonia content made it ideal for roasting. There was another pleasant bonus - resistance to phytofluoride, capable of destroying the crop almost completely. Colorado frogs did not chew such potatoes. What, from the point of view of modern opponents of GMOs, clearly speaks about safety.

The dark side of the yellow buds opened up a few years after the beginning of cultivation. Consumers began to complain of nausea, diarrhea and other symptoms of poisoning. The investigation identified the culprit. In the pursuit of resistance against pests, breeders managed to multiply the level of production of potato solanine, harmless to the Colorado bush but harmful to humans. Genetic modifications were not needed – it all happened in a completely natural way. But it is not necessary to check for safety, it is a selection!

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №144315
 29.08.2017
XXX is
I am tired of doing something :(
YYYY
So not long left.
XXX is
Until 26 years before retirement.

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