bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №144274
 27.08.2017
and smart:

The water cars, finally waiting for the rain, all joyfully went to the streets of the city.

Exactly so. Mixing and washing out oxygenated dirt without raising clouds of dust in the center of the city is much easier. Or did you think they go out on the streets to water and create a pleasant fresh atmosphere for you? Divorced ridicules without the slightest desire to think with their brains.


[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №144273
 27.08.2017
We have an engineer Andrew at work. And then, one evening, Andrew was crushed. And already in the morning, the list of picked numbers, with horror and sick head sees that he called the boss. He calls him:

“Constantinovich, did I call you yesterday?

and called.

And what did I want?

I do not know. I do not understand extraterrestrials.

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №144272
 27.08.2017
Mother’s version: “Everyone around me took care of me, but I chose your father.”

Father’s version: “Your mother ran after me and had to get married.”

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №144271
 27.08.2017
Complementary

Disgrace and Children
I grew up in the USSR, where, as you know, there was no sex (in TV advertising). But we had movies <...> But for some reason it wasn’t considered propaganda of exhibitionism, pedophilia and lesbian relationships. At that time, the emphasis (including in these films) was made on something completely different.

In the "the" times there were many children's and adult films, where children's naked pops were completely quietly shown (and sometimes flashed and not only they) - plus the mentioned, for example, the "Party entrance is forbidden", where the boys were sighed in the urticaria. In the 'time' there was no'sex' in adults, and children and sex were not associated at all, so no one was very dark. Yes, the adults in the bathroom also blinked naked with five points. This is a bathroom, didn’t you know that it was washed naked? In "your" life is swimming naked? They are bathing. Films about life? About her. We will make a picture of the known life (and the city and the village), and the focus, indeed, will be on the soul, on the character, on the aspirations. And there was no such number of corrupt as at today’s 18+.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №144270
 27.08.2017
A documentary series in which a handmade craftsman mines fire by friction, crushes a cottage with a stone tail, builds a fireplace from homemade bricks, etc.
Comments: "Surely by the end of the season he will leave at sunset on a steam car!"

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №144269
 27.08.2017
Photo of the naked woman's back with a transition in roundness. Comments under the photo:
But I would suck.
Sickle on the back? However!
I am Esther.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №144268
 27.08.2017
English text, in the word "curved" ("a curved path") seal - "curoed". The translator improperly translates this as "trajectory in the form of a curyade".

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №144267
 27.08.2017
I came across a scientific article about the attractiveness of men. The essence of the article is that in the Russian Federation rule alpha male, not metrosexual. Source: North Caucasian Psychological Journal.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №144266
 27.08.2017
Over the years, the old films are getting better and the new ones get worse.

[ + 29 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №144265
 27.08.2017
I live in California, in a small town. My daughter was in 4th grade, she loves iron, shooters, boy clothes. The dress is worn a couple of times a year in the church, in visits, in theaters and then with battle. I only go to school in jeans and shirts. The hair is slightly shorter than the shoulder... in many ways it is the influence of her cousin, the son of my sister, he is slightly older. He lives in San Francisco, which is cool in itself, in addition, he is very tall, beautiful, terribly smart, participates in the Olympics, plays guitar. In short, our Sasha is proud of his brother and tries every way to be like him, wears all his T-shirts and hats and looks into his mouth (mostly on Skype, but daily :-) )
There are no Russians in our school.
And here suddenly from Norway comes a professor with his family, on the sabbatical, former Leningraders, their boy of the same age comes to our school. Our Sasha is urgently introduced to him by the director and asks for custody, as the boy's English is worse than Norwegian and Russian. Here the kids are playing, Sasha tells us something about a new friend every day... I already wanted to invite them to us, I spoke to a Norwegian mother... and she so touched me and said: and to us about your daughter the son never told us anything. I speak strangely, they are on all the changes together. And she: yes, no, he is a friend with a Russian boy, such a boy, they are called Sasha. I was surprised, I think, well worked out, missed out that the Russians have appeared long ago.

At home, I ask my daughter: what is your Russian boy Sasha? She says, “I don’t know... I was surprised, but I already binge guessed what was going on.

The next day I see a Norwegian mom, she’s laughing and says, “Our son came from school yesterday and tells us, ‘My friend Sasha said he’s a girl!’”

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №144264
 27.08.2017
Our officials love to buy villas in Europe. Do you know why? Because there is good. Better than us. Because there, in Europe, our officials are not in power.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №144263
 27.08.2017
XXX: I posted new photos. Appreciate it!
YYY: The Marine! You have dirty breasts! What a cellulite ass! The Glow!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №144262
 27.08.2017
- You read, in the capital fraudsters again lowered the unemployed moscovite for 105 thousand euros.
They do not have unemployment benefits.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №144261
 27.08.2017
During a long life I have heard probably no less than a thousand different creative options to say "Hello".
But yesterday’s hearings of “Salamuli, Pacana!” made a strong impression on me.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №144260
 27.08.2017
>And if you think - is there a practical benefit from this exploration of space?

Andrei Geim, the 2010 Nobel laureate in physics, when talking about the benefits of science likes to recall how he went with his family to the dolphinarium. Delphinary contact. Visitors swim in the pool with dolphins, communicate, play, in general, everyone is happy. Suddenly, a little girl loudly, across the pool, asked: “Mommy! Are they eaten?"

[ + 16 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №144259
 27.08.2017
The cars, finally waiting for the rain, all joyfully walked out into the streets of the city.

I have a version that they pour only rainwater into the tanks.

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №144258
 26.08.2017
Announced by:
The military committee invites cautious sappers to military service under the contract. The brave ended.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №144257
 26.08.2017
In the contest for the most strange inscription on the wall of the toilet won the announcement "Dear colleagues, please pick up the server"

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №144256
 26.08.2017
When I was studying at an international university, a Chinese man once asked me and my friend where we had the same scars on our shoulder. With a devil's gaze and a cunning tone, he explained that all Russians are thrown at birth with a fire stamp. It was the first time I saw Chinese eyes.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №144255
 26.08.2017
I went to the Shop "Capriz" on Lenin Street, bought a hair conditioner. When I came home, I read in the SMS I received from the bank that I spent 876 rubles on KAPRIZ LENINA. How many years he has not been alive, and we still carry out his caprices. and :)

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna