bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №88345
 14.10.2013
<xxx> all member, silver
<Silver> and why all the member?
<xxx> A looked to the left -- member, right -- member...
<Silver> are you in the men’s bathroom?

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №88344
 14.10.2013
Any evening snack in a restaurant after midnight turns into a chicken. As a DJ.

[ + 12 - ] Comment quote №88343
 14.10.2013
Astrologers announced a week of jokes about a 10-year-old infertile gay boy

[ + 11 - ] Comment quote №88342
 14.10.2013
...
You have already got your funny quotes on this forum post! It is good to fill our serious reasoning with unnecessary fun! Where are the moderators looking?

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №88341
 14.10.2013
The Norwegian film. One of the characters tells the other on the phone that he has Natasha at his guests. After a while, the girl became angry with him. In the original sound, she loudly pronounces: "Yes, you went on, you are unhappy". Russian subtitles: "Go to the devil, the stinking goat".

[ + 55 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №88340
 14.10.2013
to this

Readers: Children are great!
Skynet_NK: Yes It is so. I went with my older son to work for my wife. My son was 5 years of power. On the ring of the Home of the household, we were several times very seriously cut by the nine with the small-eyed mirrors of the rearview. Miracle the driver at some point was out of reach of my anger (with my right side). Then I said the phrase to myself "the mirror would break him for unnecessary". I feel in the cabin somehow cooler and hearing increased, and then the sound of a blow and falling on the asphalt broken mirror. I thought it was I who struck him and looked into the right mirror... I only noticed how the plastic machine, which my son held in his hand, hides in the innermost of the car through the window and the son’s phrase “Ready, Dad.”

Now imagine the man’s reaction. I was driving, I was driving. I cut someone a couple of times. And here and this someone opens a window, the machine is lifted up (in modern fashion made under the actual) and from this machine you are shot a mirror. The guy warned.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №88339
 14.10.2013
to this:
L_D: Mom is the kind of person who will always find a way to fuck you out of the best incentives.
I am glad that my mom can do more. And let each mother do this as long as possible.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №88338
 14.10.2013
to this:
With EMO:
The Male Logic
refuse to have sex with a girl because she has a menstrual period, the reason is that the member is worn out, the type of некомильфо.
A few days later, the same girl begins to engage in anal sex.
Then offended because she laughed for a long time.
— — —
Venous diseases are transmitted through blood, not through shit. Therefore, in all religions it is strictly forbidden to have sex with women during menstruation. It is considered "unclean" these days.
________
So what nonsense? Sexually transmitted diseases are transmitted both by oral and vaginal (menstrual pofig is there or not, if without rubber), and by anal sex.

Homicides do not have monthly, but nothing venereal is foreign to them!! to

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №88337
 14.10.2013
In the 1990s, when I came to visit, I was hanging for a long time trying to understand why wallpapers with the design of a brick wall are glued to the brick wall.

[ + 10 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №88336
 14.10.2013
I am 5 years old, I already have a dog, his name is Dick, he has been wild since childhood.
Only yesterday I realized that I know English heroically, but the dog justifies his name.

[ + 36 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №88335
 14.10.2013
to this
<xxx> In the medical universities of Russia will appear a new subject - theology. This was proposed by the participants of the All-Russian Congress of Orthodox Doctors, which took place in Samara.
<yyy> and a new specialty - exorcist

And if theology is introduced in physical education universities, paladins will be at the exit. It is cool)

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №88334
 14.10.2013
In marketing guides, the phenomenon of Apple is often cited as an example of a successful strategy of emotional manipulation of people, when the customer audience is insinuated that you will be a bit cooler than others using Apple products.This example, according to experts, illustrates the fact that even the worst quality product can be successfully sold, because in modern society the overwhelming majority approaches the purchase not from the point of view of reason (considering the technical characteristics and the ratio of price/quality), but on emotions (Apple - better, buy it, and also become better than others).

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №88333
 14.10.2013
Arslan: What a pogrom in Birulev, it is a manifestation of the cultural characteristics of the indigenous population. Well, what kind of a celebration – a folk walk, you know? Need to be tolerant Arslan.
Written by Nevermore, · Answer ↑.
12

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №88332
 14.10.2013
Laughter is laughing, but it is.
He began to react to the child not when he is noisy and whispering, but when he is not heard. At such moments, it really becomes scary what else he has done.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №88331
 14.10.2013
In the elevator in the shopping center:
There are eight people, one of them is a foreigner, the elevator does not travel due to overload. We stand waiting.
The stranger is angry:
If someone goes out, not me.
One of the Russians smiled like this:
I am sorry. We don't understand you.
The foreigner is angry. and a nephig.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №88330
 14.10.2013
With ixbt, the grounding theme:
N1ght1ngale: By the way. When I come to the pitch, I am hit by statics everywhere. What I will not touch. Trainers are iron, the floor is covered with carpet.
shurikello: synthetic clothes, may be...
Bill Gates: We need to sew a grounding shirt to the pants, like the gypsies, we in the micro-soft all go like that.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №88329
 14.10.2013
He terribly broke up with his husband. We do not talk. When this was before, they immediately shouted to each other "Tomorrow we will divorce!"Now, mill, we weigh more - mortgage, divorce tax...No, we will not pull, the march.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №88328
 14.10.2013
When I was four or five, I promised myself and my little panda that she would always be with me, even when I was an adult.
I am 18 now, the panda is sitting in front of me on the shelf.
I am proud to fulfill my promise of a child.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №88327
 14.10.2013

The result – both girls have been brushing their teeth with the same brush for about a month, and I don’t know what to do now. Would I go to hell?

= = = is = is = is = is = is = is = is

Another story, invented from the first to the last word. A woman who sleeps with you and leaves her livelihoods will never leave only one thing. In addition to a toothbrush, it should have pads, underwear, cosmetics, all kinds of clothes.

Teach lessons, write checkbooks. And the quotes here and without you will come up.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №88326
 14.10.2013
Recently, a girl with whom I’m in a free relationship said that thanks to me she realized that size doesn’t matter. I sit and think.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna