Yes, we have a shit at all: planes fall, rockets do not take off...
The crocodile does not catch, the coconut does not grow. They cry, pray to God, without tears.

I calculated how much it would cost to rent a room in Moscow - I realized that it was cheaper to rent a prostitute and live in it.

@Agattie32: The new iPhone comes out more often than some sex happens.

VKontakte photo of Emma Watson
With her breasts, a whole generation of boys grew up.

We are so badly without each other... we have to get married!

Married...

Now we are well with each other!! to

I had fun with the status of a lady:

Dear iPhone4 owners! We remind you that tomorrow, exactly at 10 a.m., the spells of your wickedness will disappear and you will become poor again.
iPhone 5 is coming tomorrow"
c) The Fedana

I went to the store yesterday and asked for sunflower oil, so how could the saleswoman hear that I asked her for Chuvas Quas???)

Talk about the closure of the Flibusta.

XXX: You got this flip-up. Here’s what the torrent tracker "PornoLab" is after a day – it’s trouble, trouble...
YYY: What do they have? of Donetsk?
zzz: Sir knows a lot about perversions.

If you leave the task now, then it will come in the form of a problem.

Our town is small, but as they say very close to the golden end.
of Moscow. For some it may be a plus, but for us, the Aborigines, it is a whole trouble. Starting with 6-metre fences everywhere and ending with the complete impossibility to issue any documents - these beings performing the state will, we, the poor Aborigines of the Moscow suburb, for some reason categorically refuse to notice. For my problems, it was especially painful to communicate with our BTI, getting a certificate or a calculation became almost impossible due to queues, non-working reception windows, etc. Particularly different in ham behavior was the head of the local BTI. Call her
by Lucia Pavlovna. "Love" we love each other untoldly - as we see each other - so immediately we chew. Oh well okay. My wife and I went to Italy.
And our niece works as a governor in an elderly English family.
Come, he says, to the villa, the boss went with his family to Bristol, I am alone, help at least with the garden. Do you want to give a couple of days to a nephew? We went to Tuscany, in Pisa we looked to take a photo and to the evening in a taxi and on the villa to my niece. Good villa, beautiful, almost like us in the town with Alika, the director of the market. Morning decided to walk around the resort town. We go out - and to meet us on a three-wheeled bicycle loaded with bags familiar harya (bikes in this town is one of the main means of transportation). Lucia Pavlovna - what a joyful meeting, how the head of our BTI earned money and bought the house here for modest labor! Lucia Pavlovna, do you want us to photograph you in the background of your apartments? ha ha! I think the professionals of Giro d’Italia and Tour de France can stand and applaud the shooter that a fifty-year-old woman on a three-wheeled bicycle arranged in the hill. At least the Negroes, who traded a fake fig like Whitton right from the asphalt, friendlyly applauded such a spectacle. Of course, I was later explained how many such BTI chiefs live in this town of Forte-dei-Marmi, how and where the villas of their immediate chiefs, including the governor of the region, as well as the relatives of our honest and unsubordinate leaders, correct oligarchs, etc. stand. And as long as, in the sight of their compatriots, these figures will not arrange the finals of the stages of Giro d'Italia in the hill on three-wheel economic majors - it will be useless to talk about any real fight against corruption.

The current power, as promised, managed to morally unite Russia.
Against myself...

The Prehistory:
Our HR department is divided into two cabinets, one of which has a faster printer with the ability to print a3, the other - a printer / scanner / copier.
The department with a faster printer began to chase the second department, which type they are noisy and in general, "go away from their print"...
In short, a left party cell was formed inside the chicken.
Here is how Catherine solved the problem:

Dear colleagues,

Printers, copying machines and other devices are in the use of the Department of Personnel Work without division into rooms and subdivisions.

As I think, we are all mature enough and intelligent people, able to avoid the formation of belonging to small groups on a territorial basis. If we proceed from the pattern that the smaller the group, the higher the internal loyalty, the more autonomous should be the I with the fish.

I ask you, if possible, to contain the ownership impulse and avoid dividing into the “room with a faster printer” and the “room with cabinets”.

If you need to be friends against someone to form a cohesive team, I suggest that you all be friends against internal audit. They are close and ask a lot of questions. I can arrange with Vasily to run to our printer or xerox from time to time to maintain the tone.

The Best Regards,

Ekaterina
HR Director

On September 19 in Nizhny Tagil, with Lenin, was detained Wahhrushev Semen, 1992, who sold... hallucinogenic mushrooms for ten rubles per piece! Wachrushev was very healthy and very resistant. It turned out that he still had seven hundred pieces at home, part he wanted to sell, and part to eat.
In the history of the Foundation, this is the first case of the detention of a fungus. At the rehabilitation we had one such, bitten by mushrooms, he was very quiet, shy, and in his eyes, not ceasing, a distant light burned.

Funny but fact:
Vasya Popkin in Google Translate translated as Test User

XXX: What are you busy with?
YYY : I am tired. I recently changed the car and the suspension was broken. I decided to change the stabilizer. In common eggs.
X: What kind of car did you take?
The Hyunday Terracan.
xxx: So now everyone and say "I changed eggs to cockroaches".

staseg ran to the toilet, fiercely scratched the cockroach, wiped his ass, washed and ran for the computer.
d0lboiob: Yes But the pants have to be removed at some point.
Staseg is fucking!!1111Adinadine

Pharmacist: We usually sell condoms on Fridays and test on Mondays!

Kaplunoff: By the way, you don't know where to go with a girl in the evening that would be cheap to sit down for something to drink and what would be the romance there and all that?)
Alexander: Come home to her!

xxx: standing on the street near work, looking at the trees and thinking "eh, autumn... beautiful".
You’re standing in the office next to the window, looking at the same trees and thinking, “Bla, four more hours.”

I need help from the forum! Yesterday, the girl was supposed to come to me... the last time I called at 18:00, I promised to be in an hour. He opened the champagne, covered the table, lit the candles. I wait, the time goes: 19... 20... 21 hours... the phone is unavailable, it is impossible to call her! I ate champagne in one haru. I’m sitting, I’m dumb: How cruel this world is!" I’ve written her a bunch of text messages that she’s so crazy... and I’m like D'Artagnan!
Shortly after 8 in the morning, reports of the delivery of these text messages began to come.
At 9 o’clock in the morning I get a text message from her, literally: “You’re a stupid pidaras! I spent the whole night in the elevator at your entrance. You didn’t even feel like I was in trouble!"
Oh, yes: the elevator tried to make me clean her shit on the newspaper from the elevator
Fuck what to do? Satisfying or Satisfying?

Epiphany