I sit in the car, the window is open. Goes a guy, I hear how he exercises in the pronunciation of the letter "r", kartvit:
by r r r r. The King. The King. r r r r r r. and rebus. and rebus.
It goes so clean:
The pirates!

Age is when you sit down and tell everyone what to do.
I thought it was an MBA diploma.
Zzz: No, MBA is when you are still listening.

In defense of the Czech Republic, I will say that the country is very pleasant, the people are soulful.
They were there this summer. My family accidentally went to some beautiful place, like a park, and walked there for several hours. It turned out that it was a psychiatric hospital.

The protest!
The length of the sweat was always mini - above the knee, midi - below the knee, maxi - to the floor. All of! "Classic" is not a designation of length, but the name of the style of a straight shirt with a slide. Google is wrong.

# Oatmeal

Once upon a time, in the mid-1990s, I got into the food block of a Moscow hospital. And here I saw what I still sometimes dream in nightmares. Imagine: a huge boiler not less than a meter in diameter and the same depth, and there the oatmeal is boiled on the water. A boiling gray mass, bubbling with huge bubbles and as if ready to break out of the boiler and capture this world. And only the fat cook, mixing this with a huge pumpkin, did not allow the end of the world to happen.
P.S Eat is delicious.

XHH: Our office sponsors an event. In fact, 500 people go somewhere to the river to boil. for a week.
Now the piers returned and told me that there was one camp where there was a refrigerator with vodka!
That is, in a 19 litre bottle poured vodka, the refrigerator connected to the battery. The people always had cold vodka. It’s hot, but who needs it?
Genius, their mother

My parents have many friends, scattered by the unpredictable fate of the Soviet scientist around the world. Accordingly, we see them rarely and often on important occasions such as weddings, births, funerals.

Recently, a friend of my mom calls, whose communication is reduced to exchanging photos on viber and meetings once every two years, and suddenly asks me to the phone.

How is life young? Cuddling is fun.

“Well, okay,” I replied, “do you have anything new there?

- You imagine, our Max finally decided to get married, - being in a natural euphoria, says Mom's friend, - you are... now how, free?

- Well, for such an occasion, - having infected her with the joy of her son, - set a date, and we will fly!

We talked a little more with her, choked over the memories of our childhood with this Max (in fact, when I last saw him).

Carelessly returning the phone to my mom, I went to business, having a good mood for the whole day. Now there was a lot of fun troubles - buying a gift for the wedding of a friend of childhood, asking for holidays at work, travel itself...

Are you in your mind? My mother asked me a question.

What happened?

How did this come to your mind? ! to

So what? ! to

By phone agree to marry Max, whom you have not seen for ten years!

It turns out, my mom’s friend was asking me if I was free now, a little different meaning.

Anonymous Grammar-Nazi: Yes, I’m going to address a pregnant woman, and I don’t care what class she is in.

outsider: well what you are all: "showermeister", "showermeier"...We have a guy at the corner working on such complicated pieces that he is no less than a showermeister!

– In this country... – repeated Eliseev, evil smiling. And I even like what citizens of present-day Russia have been talking about their country lately – this country. Finally, it came to them, to everyone and everyone, that Russia is not their country. Nothing belongs to them here. No gas, no oil, no forest... Nothing! Even their homes do not belong to them. They borrow for the utility – and throw them to the hell dogs on the street. Even their children do not belong to them. It will be pleasant for the youth justice to take the children to the children’s homes-internates, they will find an excuse and take away... Even their lives do not belong to them! The population of this country can be pressured by cars of drunk officials, beaten to death in police offices, poisoned with substitute alcohol or stunned foods. No one will ever be punished.

At the beginning of reading the documentation to some shit stated that he said "it's all from the evil and generally more like some anal storm"...
Without listening, he asks: Storm or Storm?
It is no longer clear what is worse.

[Sergey M.]: I’ve already told everyone, I haven’t told anyone. I put it in a Macintosh disk. I have done my job, I want to get out. There are no buttons. I think okay, here everything is civilian, probably you need the right mouse button on the disk icon and there eject. There is also a wreck, the mouse has one button. I tried a long press, pressing with cmd, alt.... ticked. As a result of hopelessness, I dragged the disk icon into the basket. and bingo! The disc is out!

Q. What did you argue with?
He is a goat! I said, I'll give you a 101st rose for your birthday. I am so anticipated, and he attracts five roses. My question is, where is 101? In the binary system 101 is five. The Horseshoe (
xxx :D

(Tales of the Aviators)
For the appearance of drunk on the flight field is due to immediate dismissal. Two ballbesses were fired, but for some reason they were not expelled from the field. In the brains of the subjects was born the idea of sophisticated revenge. It is necessary to know that the edge of the plane (wing) of the domestic aircraft can be reached from the ground, and for a two-meter fool it is not a spotlight at all. In the eyes of passengers climbing the staircase, he crushed a wing with an amplitude of about a meter - it is specially made so and flies in flight quite strongly. After jumping out, he shouted to the whole field: “Petrovich! One time is enough, and then we change.” Broken passengers were caught throughout the airport.

Execution cannot be pardoned
In the room as in a fairy tale with a good ending enters a Negro.

A friend once said that he would sleep with all his friends, with whom he communicates well. Five other men confirmed, said too.
Yyy: You ask him about those with whom he is not good or hasn’t communicated at all, he’d like to sleep with them too.

We are in a third hour blockade. My husband talks to Siri. She asks, Siri, do you know how to play cards?
Siri opens Google Maps with traffic jams. Go play the fuck :))))

Well, the undisputed way to not be a fool with such brothers is to swell up in the bath (pardon, "in the sauna") and cause a fool. That’s why business is like this... blatant.

to whom?
We, for example, when one of the roof directors went (or watched the series, I don't know) and offered the partners a scene and girls, the partners said O_O and the owner:
Please do not invite them to negotiate anymore.

Sanitary and wholesale trade.

Alita: *to the news of the start of the reception of applications in the Zoo for the wedding in the zoo*
IV: there will be a new fun - throw a tie on the horn of a giraffe
Alita: and who of the suricates will catch the bouquet
Swimming with Penguins :D
IV is oh! Steal the bride and hide it in the serpentary.

The future, so complex mechanisms, spacecraft, androids, electronics and so dumb people... According to Ridley, people in the future completely mentally degraded and turned into imbeciles, although judging by the films recently released, this is quite a real future. So well filmed, graphics not bad, decoration and so dull plot and behavior of the heroes, just screaming, impenetrable stupidity, complete lack of logic. Prometheus was also impenetrably dumb, but there were at least some story puzzles, the race of creators, etc. Alien planet "naffig of the scaphandra, this is such a cool air! The viruses? The Dispute? Unknown forms of life. The Beast? What a fool! " " o! Hairy eggs in the grass, let me lick them", "oh! The infected man was dragged onto the ship. Let us embrace him! Let him watch us all with blood, it’s so great! "I’m a member of the crew! I can shoot from guns. I will, of course, shoot on the gas balloons, but they must not blow up the entire landing shuttle! The android that created the monsters shows leather eggs and says they’re safe, of course I’m giving birth to this egg! Yes, I'm completely in it, it's safe - the crazy android that destroyed the whole race said so.