bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №147894
 05.01.2018
A moment of common sense and fact-checking.
A minute of German:

In Germany, the whole beer is produced under the name "Fucking Hell" ("Fukking light"), where hell in German means "light el", and Fucking is taken in honor of an Austrian town.

<nerdmode>
First, hell is just the word ‘light’, it has nothing to do with elus. And not fucking, but fucking. The end of -er is the equivalent of our "-sky" (Wien - Wiener, Fucking - Fuckinger).
</nerdmode>

Not exactly fucking. The Germans are not stupid and understand that if you write according to the rules, the profit will be lower. What is typical, it is easily checked by Google, but you need to "knowledge" to demonstrate faster, not time to check.

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №147893
 05.01.2018
During a thunderstorm, lightning most often hits a tree standing alone.
The proximity of the reservoir creates an additional hazard factor.
Gold is one of the best conductors.
Question: Why did Pushkin so dislike his scientist cat?! to

[ + 18 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №147892
 05.01.2018
Men do not have the biological ability to distinguish their children from their own.

Yes, women do not have such a “biological” capability. Or do you think she instinctively, on a genetic level, feels what kind of baby she is?

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №147891
 05.01.2018
I was taught that help at home and obedience are my natural duties by default, and I have nothing to do with it. But for the failure, I rely on Lula.
So I grew up as a quiet and quiet girl and quietly played torture and funeral in my corner.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №147890
 05.01.2018
A comrade called and said he owed me 100 rubles, and entering the new year with debts is a bad sign. So he transferred my money to the card. A comrade who owes me 100,000 a long time doesn’t call, apparently he doesn’t believe in signs.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №147889
 05.01.2018
I recently watched an article about artificial intelligence. Soon it will be impossible to determine who is in front of you – a human or a robot.
and elementary. If the debt... b is a person

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №147888
 05.01.2018
The Blue Fire

Oh, here you are principled, well, and celebrate with the same.
And I love my grandmother, my grandmother from her youth loves Fire, and I didn’t have the time to celebrate with her, without depriving her of her favorite program.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №147887
 05.01.2018
xxx: when you already understand and accept that the babies of the dope are complicated and you need to treat them very carefully, some fool takes and gives you a penny in the woods.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №147886
 05.01.2018
Commentary on Titanium
Do not pay attention to those who write "what shit have I just seen?". They say the same when they look in the mirror.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №147885
 05.01.2018
In Germany, the whole beer is produced under the name "Fucking Hell" ("Fukking light"), where hell in German means "light el", and Fucking is taken in honor of an Austrian town.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №147884
 05.01.2018
HHH: Today it was funny - I was taking food for the restaurant. The cook cookes, the waitress puts it on the table, I take a picture and he takes it to the hall.
xxxh: there are a lot of them I don’t know anyone, I just photograph systematically in the chamber that was allocated to me
xxh: brought a row salad, I began to photograph it from different sides and right in the process the guy who brought it, sits down and starts eating it.
I thought he was trolling me, and it turns out that the guard came for lunch and didn't know what the shooting was.
Do you have a job like taking food for food?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №147883
 05.01.2018
xxx: Hey guys, I have a moral problem again.
YYY :?
I live in a shelter and wash the garbage in the washing machine. So here. For the new year, this laundry suddenly closed, and I began to feel the need for clean things. I wrote yesterday about this to a familiar girl who rented an apartment, she referred to employment, I ulceratively commented on her employment and suffered...
xxx: Today she writes to me herself, says that tomorrow her jury-neighbor will leave, and that she is waiting for me in the evening with a bag of my used goods, she washes it for me.
Q: So this is: tell her that my wiped laundry machine has already opened or not? O_O
See also: LOL
ZZZ : XD

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №147882
 05.01.2018
xxx: put dark souls 3. flew out without loading. Closed all programs. Started and left in 5 minutes. Set a minimum schedule. I flew in 15 minutes.
Yyy: Dark Souls will make you suffer. Try again and again. To hate the game, to hate the game.
YYY: And when it starts, it’s so harsh...

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №147881
 05.01.2018
I served in the German Democratic Republic in 1984. Our part was located under a small German town. And every weekend we strengthened the Soviet-German friendship in the local competition. And then, one day, I sat down to a nice sickness. A considerable amount of drinking visually added a little beauty and youth to the lady, and the evening spent in a warm and friendly atmosphere turned into a night full of international love and passion. I woke up close to lunch alone, awakened by the rage of excited voices coming out of the street. There was a crowd of excited Germans outside the window. Here I hit. Not only was he late to work, he seemed to have struck something.

What happened? The lady from birth cut one eye, no treatment helped, and she has long accepted this. I was drunk and not noticed, and at the peak of passion, my eyes stood in place.

In the morning, realizing the miraculous healing, Madame ran on friends and acquaintances, telling about the fateful acquaintance and, of course, without getting into intimate details. At lunch, a crowd gathered under her door hoping for the help of a Russian miracle expert. Of the features and my methods of treatment, they, unfortunately, knew nothing ; )

P.S. The command at first wanted to announce the excuse, but then everyone laughed and it seemed like it was all over. And in the cocktail I went further.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №147880
 05.01.2018
In his youth, he played guitar for his mother and sang one song, but never sang to the end. In the age of the Internet, it was a sin not to find it. The song was played, my mother was nostalgic, the text about how a guy and a girl are going in the elevator, reaches the eighth floor, and we didn’t hear the end of the line. To repeat - again not to unravel the words - the recording is quite old. The sound was louder, both inclined to the loudspeakers of the note, we looked at each other, stirring our ears... "And at the eighth she turned on the fox..." It became clear why he didn't sing.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №147879
 05.01.2018

here here :
There is still only January, and here sadists are already collapsing, measuring holes.

What a January, such a shit.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №147878
 05.01.2018
Geologmochegon: Being a student I drove on the same trolleybus almost every day, the conductor was also fucking - then I will not take this coin, it is dark, I will not take it because there is scratch. After the third walk on foot because of it (between the stops a large distance, a dull between the stops stopped) I psychhanoul, exchanged in the bank (I don’t remember how much then) a day in a bag of brilliant copies) Then demonstratively every morning after the “transfer” I started counting coins... well, hassle – I didn’t have time until I reached my stop)

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №147877
 05.01.2018
And the forty best speakers came up in a row demanding that the speech be stopped immediately.

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №147876
 05.01.2018
Some tribes in remote areas of the globe, who lived under primitive communal regime in the 20th century. Suppose, they did not associate childbirth with sex at all, they regarded it simply as a characteristic of women.

An opinion put forward by Malinovsky at the beginning of the 20th century, and since then repeatedly challenged: he simply misinterpreted the responses of the locals. At least further studies in other tribes have consistently shown that the Aborigines are well aware of the existence of connection, although they do not understand the underlying biology.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №147875
 05.01.2018
Don’t think about giving a woman pleasure. Just get and deliver.

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