It’s time to go to bed: I sit with my head on the right hand, my left leaves the news tape on the tablet. Very excited, not straight away. My right hand is a little tired, I decide to change, and immediately in horror I try to cope with the task: how? Would I not be able to catch it and my head would fall?

He, when he writes, adds outcrying signs at the end of each sentence, and I always scratch, I hear directly, as a whistle on me.

I go out to the balcony to smoke. Everything is as usual: people go to work, children go to school, nothing unusual. My yard is empty. I note: a boy is crossing my yard, the first-second class, probably no more, goes to school. Where else he has to go. He passes half the courtyard and here sharply drops his portfolio, gets two toy pistols and begins to spin, shouting:
and Die! Die to! Die to!
I couldn’t stop laughing, which scared the boy. He quickly threw the weapon back into the wallet and retreated :D

Discussion of the diet received from the fitness trainer:

- Fuck, here she writes that for breakfast 40 grams of oatmeal in dry form, two eggs and an apple. That’s not enough, we don’t hire. What is 40 grams of oatmeal?
That is normal.
and yes? How is it dry? What distortion?
40 grams of oatmeal should be cooked, not eaten.
–...
–...
and thanks.

Autumn of course. Well, first a schizophrenic in the subway with an obvious split of personality - long interested in what the ICC is, then talking to himself with different voices, okay... but the second, on the Roman - killed on the figure! He asked me to go up and buy him a little, crazy fantasy. is normal? I bought it, I was fucking fucking too.

After reading stories about grandparents, I remembered a small episode from my childhood. I was six years. It was summer, I stayed with my grandmother in the Tula region. And my grandmother once said to me, “Do you want us to ride a bus on the field, a half-bump?”

I must say that I was still a hunter. I loved to catch all sorts of little things – bats, strawberries, frogs and goats, and at home in the bank I lived a fat such a goat.

Here is such an attractive offer! Ride the bus, walk the field, and half the frogs with your grandmother!

Of course I agreed.

A hot summer day. My grandmother and I went on an old bus for an hour. Then we go along the road through the field under the burning sun.

And then I see her.

The potato...

“You start from here, and I’ll meet you from there” – with these words I was given a cage and I was sent to the potato – collecting Colorado frogs.

During the time I spent there, I hated the bugs. I hate potatoes. I hate everything in the world. I have never felt so brutally deceived.

But my grandmother kept the word – we caught the frogs.

A few years ago, I fell in love with my mother’s son. Love, by the way, was mutual and mad (sick, as friends told us). It was terrible if we didn’t see each other for a few hours. I will let go of boring stories about love to the grave, the point is this: I hated his mother. Her main arguments, which she tried to "understand her son" were the words that I am a terrible Tatar, and they are beautiful Russians and they would have something cooler to give, and money she wants from you!!! (By the way, he studied, and I worked the main expenses were on me).We gently suppressed her objections and anger and we generally had not before her, we have love, you know😁). As the match rumored that his mother offered him a deal, he told his son, throw his tatar-boy-go on a new car, I will buy. We’ve gotten a bit out of this absurdity. N amount of time. SMS comes, I love / tired and all the songs. I cried with burning tears until I learned that my former champion was the owner of a new car, costing about 700,000. Now I laugh at all this, and then it was offensive.

In Abakan, a drug dealer was convicted for exchanging a pig for drugs
It is worth noting that by a court decision the adult pig was decided to leave in the zoo, where it was transferred for the time of the investigation. "He was left for a delight to mocked predators," the press service said.
Commentary :
Reader: Injustice – the death penalty for the unrelated! The essence of the judiciary.

My work in the city administration.

A representative of a party there comes before the elections and asks for a plan of activities for the current and next year, well, where the road was planned to be repaired, where a garden to be built. Well, it is necessary, and he includes all this program in his election promises, wins the elections and honestly fulfils his commitments!

For the second term he was elected the same.

I’ve never been to Pornhub or Yuphorne. But once they themselves have been banned by Roxomnadzor - that is, high-quality websites can be cheated.

My wife worked in an ambulance. The challenge: Grandpa and Grandpa. My grandfather had a problem with his ass - they appointed candles to insert.

I go to the pharmacy for candles.

Why do we have candles?

They are so old already.

Father: Yes, this is a paraffin, what will be done with it from time to time.

In general, the grandfather was lucky that this conversation was heard by an ambulance brigade that had not yet left, or the grandfather would have pushed a paraffin into his ass for treatment.

There was a funny guy in our student's dormitory. He ate only peelings for dinner, but I was always amazed by his ability to stretch a pound pack of peelings for a week. He honestly divided all the pelmeni into seven parts. I got 6-7 pimples a day. He opened them, cut a couple of thick-walled pieces of bread, poured the peelmen with sauce, and broke (other word not pick up) bread, in a quarter of a buchanka each, thickly soaked with mayonnaise. The first piece of bread he ate just looking at the smoking pellet. It warms my appetite, I know. Then he alternated the pelmech and bitten the second piece. After that, he lay on his bed, knocked himself on his stomach and cried out loudly, "Oh, the peelmen ate!!!“”

here here :

Can I write a will asking me to smash, give what I can to those in need of organs, and cover and burn the rest in a fire in the backyard of my family home? How legal is it? Or is it impossible to burn people in the yard altogether?

> Sorry I can’t. The fire department will not approve, the firefighters too. To burn a corpse, it takes a huge fire. Try burning a few kilograms of pork with a bone, you will get an idea.

But it is better to write, so those who will perform the last will, risk only administrative responsibility, and otherwise can fall and abuse of the corpse.

As a volunteer told a cow in Botswana, “I’ll paint your eye on your ass!”

In the shell:
- You know, we only have two people in the city of Silumin. I and another Gondon.

I found my old notes about students, 5-10 years ago, I will publish something.



I have two high school students, sisters, the older and, accordingly, the younger, with a difference per year. There are no real conflicts between them, but disputes on words go on constantly. If one says “black”, the other will answer “white”. The younger girl loves all the "sweet": puppies, kittens, children, the group Tokio Hotel. And the elderly is forced to challenge this love (but only until the younger disappears from the horizon). And because of their habit, I was able to hear this dialogue:

Younger: - I will have at least three children, they are so nice!

The oldest: And are they fooling you? Dress like a doll?

Children are like immortality, so long as children and grandchildren remember me, I will never die.

Do you remember Lenin and Krupskaya? They had no children.

This is Lenin with Krupska. (Supposedly

Do you remember Olga Davydovna Chavycheva?

No, but who is that?

“This is my grandmother with you, Daddy’s mom, to whom we didn’t go in the summer because you wanted to go to Altai.

Before yesterday, our McDonald’s was visited by two girls riding horses.
We served them on Macau ;)

Last night at the office entrance of the children's hospital, three men - a guard, a guard and a driver, arguably discussed the state of health of Hillary Clinton, put forward different versions of the diagnosis.

>>> With liquid nitrogen in the veins

I am reading this shit and suffering with the question: if there is liquid nitrogen in the veins, what then flows in the arteries? with nitrogen?

XXX: I understand a bunch of compost – the most friendly place for vegans
YYY : No. This is his body food.