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[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №118673
 21.09.2015
Discussions on the extension of the tax on "Bulgaria":
XHH: Interesting, and the authors themselves get anything from all these fees? And how exactly does this happen?
WOW : Of course. The head of the RSP personally calls the authors and performers, and says, “Johnny, my dear Depp, did you get here when you came?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №118672
 21.09.2015
Until the night battles with the cat for Viscus began - the diet counted and did not begin)

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №118671
 21.09.2015
Today on the forum I learned in what wrong family from all sides I live: first, late to give birth to the elderly, up to twenty-five, secondly, until thirty only stupid not self-sufficient people give birth. Thirdly, the second child should not be a boy, but a girl, so that the elderly after 16 years among her girlfriends saw the future wife, fourth, the dog in a family with babies - unhygienic, fifth, you need to have two cats, children can not be without furry friends, this is not childhood, but catorg some!

I sit here, I think whether the date of birth in the passport to go to change, whether the younger for the operation to change the gender to write down, or whether to look for ways to exchange one San Bernardino for two cats...

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №118670
 21.09.2015
Don’t you mind that I’m too old?
My mother approved.
My own too.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №118669
 21.09.2015
Oh, what a country about the dollar rally!

Yyy: It’s back on the dollar, don’t worry.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №118668
 21.09.2015
GG (11:09:08 21/09/2015)
Man is burning.

GG (11:09:20 21/09/2015)
Macroflex has a prize.

GG (11:09:37 21/09/2015)
The prize is one day of training with Zenit.

GG (11:10:04 21/09/2015)
and on ballons photo of Kerzhakov

GG (11:10:08 21/09/2015)
I sell him happiness.

GG (11:10:23 21/09/2015)
Is it without Kerry? Otherwise I won’t get in.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №118667
 21.09.2015
Pre-morning sleep: the dentist breaks out my tooth and asks at the end of the procedure, say, how do I feel? By gestures and writing, I offer him two choices:
A. As if it was scattered from within.
b) as if I was an alien with six genital holes and just lost one of the virginities that our society is customary to keep for a lifetime, and its loss is shameful and reproachable.

I did not wake up in the cold sweat, I will not lie, I woke up as usual in the morning, but to brush the bourbon of the ninth Baltic before going to bed is a heroic idea.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №118666
 21.09.2015
Reference to Skype in GooglePlay:

I swear I will send a letter to PETA unless you let the enots write the code for you and hire people in their place.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №118665
 21.09.2015
So I had to find a second job. As an educational teacher, she submitted a resume to the school. Approved and accepted in half. The first three weeks of September were more like a stubborn fox – quotations from nine-grade students brought me into a state of prostration. Then in them the Russian Empire was “under the rule of a socially disoriented tsar,” then our country “passed from old rule to industry.” I cried, compiled a simplified version and suppressed my desire to be a mother when I was looked at by 20 pairs of eyes trying to understand the whole essence of the term “Marxism.”

After meeting an old acquaintance, breathing became easier.

Sunshine, rejoice, you are a happy man. I had a management for four classes. Fifteen Mahomed and eight Aslan. Their parents came up with scandals every week: why does my bloodshed have three and two? Give the elves, you have to do their upbringing! Three of them speak Russian poorly. To my convictions of deducting or translating young geniuses, the scientist replied: it is not necessary. Let us let go and we mourn. Pull them into three. How I went crazy, I don’t understand. But the future drivers of the gelendvagen left the walls of the school, drinking all my blood. So be glad. They speak at least one language.

[ + 33 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №118664
 21.09.2015
And the landscape! The insidious half-green stole my gold and now I can’t buy healing greens! I am dying!
- In the first, stop calling your child so, in the second, he did not know that the dozen on the counter left you, and not him, in the third I will go from work, I will buy you a cough syrup.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №118663
 21.09.2015
My mother came over the weekend.
Mother: Should I turn on the alarm for tomorrow?
Husband: No, we already had a child a year ago, and he has never failed us.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №118662
 21.09.2015
Engaging in sperm, you understand - nature selects not the smartest, but the most sharp.

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №118661
 21.09.2015
26 Questions

According to statistics that everyone knows, Americans change their place of residence on average every six years. One day we moved from New York City to New Jersey. The U.S. states are small states with their own laws, parliament, budget, police and even traffic rules. For example, in New Jersey, right turn to the red light is allowed after a full stop, and in New York it is strictly prohibited. Therefore, the law requires every new resident of the state to pass a PDD theoretical exam, exchange driving licenses and finally get local car numbers. This event is held for one month. I remembered it when there were three working days left of the month.

During the break, I went to the internet and found the nearest office of the Department of Transportation. It was five minutes from my work and was open until eight in the evening that day. I think lucky! And as always almost smote: by the end of the day began another aural. The manager ordered pizza for everyone and announced that we would stand until we won. I managed to escape only on the promise of connecting out of the house tonight. I arrived at the office at 7:25 a.m., when the queues were no longer there and the visitors were still being accepted. He filled out the form, paid the money, found the desired stand. Clerk was smiling, kind and conversational, like most older African Americans.

“Oh,” he said, “I hear your Russian accent! I have a Russian accent. My friend had a Russian girlfriend. You probably would prefer to give in Russian, yet it is your native language, but now there is no such option. I had a paper exam before. In addition to English, we had questionnaires in Spanish, Russian and Chinese. This year I moved to computers. Spanish is already there, and Russian, I’m sorry, not yet. Ready for the exam? Can you use a computer mouse? It is great! Then follow me!

Not only did I not prepare for the exam, but I didn’t even plan to prepare for it. Moreover, I forgot how I rented it six years ago in New York, but it didn’t bother me at all. Driving a car for a long time, fines had only for excess speed, about the right turn knew, people with the exam cope. I think I will give up too.

Clark sat down at my computer and turned it on. I will answer 26 questions. There are four answers to each question. I have to choose the correct answer at least 20. He pressed “Start” and walked away, leaving me alone with the first question: “What is the maximum allowable alcohol concentration in the driver’s blood?” I did not know and stopped at the smallest number. I did not guess. No, I think I have five more in stock. The second question was, “What is the minimum depth of the tire protector?” Almost the same numbers in parts of an inch didn’t tell me anything. I did not guess again...

The following four questions were equally ugly. Why ugly? Because there are simple answers to these questions that everyone knows and everyone successfully uses in real life. For example, you can drink one bottle of beer or one glass of wine or one glass of vodka per hour. It is no longer worthwhile. The depth of the protector is checked with the one-cent coin as shown in the photo at http://abrp722.livejournal.com in my Live Journal. If Lincoln’s head is fully visible, you need to buy new tyres. In short, on the first six questions I gave six wrong answers. The computer showed the message "The exam is over." I stood up, opened my hands and expressed all my feelings with a short idiomatic expression, “Well, no <- -> to myself!” Of course not out loud.

I probably looked very funny, because the clerk just blossomed with a white tooth smile.
“I see you have very weak knowledge,” he said, “and I want to give you some advice. First, you will have to work hard and hard to learn all the necessary information. But that is little. It seems to me that you don’t have the experience of passing American exams: you don’t know how to analyze questions and catch the difference in the answers. When I got this job, I had a month of training and then the most difficult exam in my life. Before the exam, we were taught to understand questions and answers. I tried hard, I learned and I gave up. When do you want to appoint your exam?
Today is Thursday. Let’s for tomorrow. Are you not working tomorrow? Go to Monday.
Will you be able to prepare? I think you won’t have enough for two weeks!
I will succeed! I said, I will try very hard.
"Let's see," doubted the clerk and handed me a booklet with the cynical title "The Driver's Handbook."

Why cynical? Because a significant part of it was devoted to administrative and other matters that had nothing to do with the actual management of motor vehicles. And it was on this part that the emphasis was made in 166 so-called general questions, of which, as mentioned, 26 examinations were selected. In order not to be vague, I’ll give you a typical question: “Within how long do you have to report a name change?” These 26 questions need somewhere, blood from the nose, to get.

I was stressed and remembered that I had a familiar owner of the auto school. I immediately called him and described the situation. “Yes,” Borja reassured me, “the questions are always the same. I will give you the correct answers in Russian. Yes, the same in all languages, so that no one is offended. Sorry I am running. He put the phone and immediately dropped the file. I also opened it immediately. The first was about alcohol, the second about the protector. Pu Sunlin described the state of the hero of one of the stories as follows: "The heart was so met with joy... as if he had received all nine distinctions from the emperor at once." Something similar happened to me at that moment.

You get used to good things quickly. I instantly forgot about 166 questions and concentrated on not teaching 26. After all, honestly, I didn’t have time for it: today and tomorrow you need to work, on Saturday to teach PD is not good, it’s not a Saturday thing, and on Sunday, if you don’t call from work, we wanted to go to the ocean. After considering several options, it was decided to learn only the answers, or rather their numbers. Without loading the case into a long box, I recorded 26 digits in a row and soon found that they were not accidental. The "1-2-4-3-1" segment was repeated five times, completing a series of three. I ate with the consciousness of a well-performed duty, then turned on the laptop and worked until late without the habitual in such cases disgust.

On Monday I went into the office first to get to work at nine. My friend saw me, welcomed me with his hand and called to his stand.
“I understand that you killed in preparation for the weekend, but I have to upset you. Our computer, which takes the English language exam, broke. So all I can offer you now is to deliver in Spanish.
Well, I think things... But I quickly remembered that my tongue was up to the light bulb, and immediately agreed:
In Spanish as in Spanish.
Do you know Spanish? He was surprised.
I knew only two words in Spanish: "s

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №118660
 21.09.2015
The crisis, you say.
Russia will be able to survive for five more years by just sinking the governors and confiscating their watches, pens and bags from the roofs.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №118659
 21.09.2015
What would you do if you became invisible for one day?
He killed Mimi.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №118658
 21.09.2015
I didn’t have a lot of fun with ping 178-188
This is an unplayable ping for shooters with similar dynamics, in Sparta babies with such ping were thrown off the rock.
They lied and were thrown back.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №118657
 21.09.2015
I understood one thing. You come to the children's store, and there are several plastic legs in a row with children's socks, golf boots or socks on them. The store somewhere bought this trade equipment, and this means that somewhere there is a commodity bag: "baby legs, left 20 pieces"

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №118656
 21.09.2015

I had a terrible joint-footed creature flying around my house with wings. Do you know big ones?
(M) is a % I am sorry. I know...
Well here is. I walked and walked, looked and looked, as if I would strike her. And her legs are thin, fragile, she will hurt (I imagine, so sorry for her... In general, breathed, carefully caught her palms, released. I am a paladin, right?
In the whole head...

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №118655
 21.09.2015
Something depends on the Korean version of the "Blood Group" - has been listened to ten times.

There the singing begins purely in Russian: "NAE@ALI!"


[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №118654
 21.09.2015
BarmaLey30000: I remember: a man enters the universe on Matfak, and he is forced to write a work about the disclosure of the image of Natasha Rostova... and NOT by anecdotes
No to you!

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