bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №9497
 03.09.2008
XXX: What is political consolidation?
YYY: Well, for example: Americans say the Iranians are bad, and the Iranians say the Americans are bad. Consolidation is an acknowledgment of both, right?

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №9496
 03.09.2008
The universe has arrived 1 course, it's time to swing))
So all the newcomers in the audience are sitting, our classmate(s) comes to them and says:
Hi students, I am your teacher on the matana and bla bla bla.
Suddenly our classmate comes in and goes out.
WOW: Well, Peter Ivanovich today as usual, and then into the sauna...
You can see the eyes of the newcomers :)

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №9495
 03.09.2008
There are four things you don’t want to hear about your wife:
1st I would fuck her.
2nd I’t fuck her.
Three I fucked her.
4 is It touches you, be sure.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №9494
 03.09.2008
I think the phrase "ex-boyfriend" or "ex-girlfriend" is about transgender people.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №9493
 03.09.2008
We celebrated a party with a group... Late in the evening, you can even say an early night, I stand in the kitchen, my dishes. A group enters.
"Katyucha, and that you wash the dishes, tomorrow we will get up, we will wash."
What I answer to him: "Better I wash now, as long as the good mood, well-being and there is a desire to do something, or tomorrow, throw, with a hammer, with a headache, this dish is not something to wash, it will not even look at." Here this miracle says:"I marry you, you have all that a real woman needs - the ability to wash dishes and third-size breasts in time."

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №9492
 03.09.2008
(10:14:21)<Mad_Man>:Hello all
(10:15:03)<Mad_Man>:what is all not at work?
(10:15:07)<sn!peR>: FUCK!
(10:15:09)<d9d9a34>
(10:15:11)<nuMb>:BLA
(10:15:14)<LoH>
(10:15:16)<just_man>
(10:15:20)<hero>:BLA
d9d9a34 has disconnected.
p.s has disconnected
Hero has disconnected.
LoH has disconnected.
Man has disconnected.
nuMb has disconnected.
(10:15:04)<Mad_Man>:Shouldn’t be a bad guy
(10:15:57)<Mad_Man>:Because I am late to work!
Mad_Man has disconnected.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №9491
 03.09.2008
XHH: I reached the top of the game on guitar.
Did you learn what to do with Children? 😉
No more than Super Mario :DDDDDD

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №9490
 03.09.2008
On the way to college, I met a couple of strangers ready. Passing by me: black coats, black robes under coats, leather boots, leather hats, dark glasses, a face with a continuous pathos, - one without changing the expression of the face says to the other through the teeth:
It is hot, p.! to

shaitan1ch

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №9489
 03.09.2008
Sharok (22:53:08 1/09/2008)
The Wife!
Damn (22:53:13 1/09/2008)
Yes to?
Sharok (22:53:17 1/09/2008)
) is
Sharok (22:53:40 1/09/2008)
The marital duty.
Damn (22:53:45 1/09/2008)
Yes Yes
Damn (22:53:46 1/09/2008)
I begins
Sharok (22:53:49 1/09/2008)
and 😉
Damn (22:54:01 1/09/2008)
Again the crap was fed money is not again the grandmothers went the children are not fed and he is bleeding
Sharok (22:54:19 1/09/2008)
I finished smoking.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №9488
 03.09.2008
I work as a teacher.
I saw a new group today. I have a student, Sisi. Here I imagine, he stands up at the lesson and appears to be: yai Sisko.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №9487
 03.09.2008
The Observer
Maybe by day.

Melfea
What shall we do?

The Observer
Surprised

The Observer
I will please you.

Melfea
How about your parents?

The Observer
They will not

Melfea
and)))

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №9486
 03.09.2008
I have a friend who has a very hard-minded mind, and called her cat "letters." When I met her (I didn’t know the cat’s name), she pleasedly said to me:
I barbed my hair today.
I am standing in a shower looking at her, she apparently does not catch what was said, minutes two of silence and reports:
That’s how the cat’s called... you guys are all men.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №9485
 03.09.2008
A friend told about the adventures of his relative in one of the banks of Moscow. She wanted to know if there is a branch of this bank in Tatarstan. This is the dialogue:
I would like to know if your bank has a branch in Tatarstan.
Sorry, our bank has offices only in Russia.
Yes, it is Russia. The city of Kazan...
Aunt at the Bank: Kazan? I repeat, only in Russia.
There is the river Volga.
Aunt in the Bank: Volga? The MMM?
Well yes Volga. It still falls into the Caspian Sea.
With these words she left, leaving the bank in shock.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №9484
 03.09.2008
The Prime Minister of Russia saved the filming group of the “Vesti” program from an imminent death by firing a tiger who fell into the trap and tried to get rid of it. Vladimir Putin fired a shot from a device for remote immobilization of animals and hit her in the shoulder. When the animal fell asleep, the prime minister put a GPS collar on it and together with scientists measured the length of the tiger from tail to nose.

Why GPS and not Glonass?
- portable collar glonass has two handles on both sides of the body for transportation by personnel in the amount of four people. If you put it on an animal, you will always know where it is. where you wore your necklace.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №9483
 03.09.2008
I sit down with a guy drinking coffee. I am in a white shirt. At the parade, I said so. The Grandmother (B) is here:
Take off the shirt or drop a tomato.
Where do you see tomatoes?? to
b) Take it so.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №9482
 03.09.2008
Fuck, yesterday I drank with friends, sat down, then yes... I go home shortly, I decided to wash and wash my hands... Parallelly I talk with my tongue on my cell phone... Okay, I go to the bathroom, I turn on the water and my hands... In a few seconds I look at the soap and I am sharply sober: the soap is quietly lying in the soap machine. I have a phone in my hand, fucking. It is wet 😉

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №9481
 03.09.2008
I bought a cat.
Colonel: Oh it is great!! to
Slavian: I can’t find it now))

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №9480
 03.09.2008
I extend a greeting to all the pedestrian drivers from Yoshkar-Ola, who turn on the turbine either during the turn or after. Explain how you include it in all???? to

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №9479
 03.09.2008
QuitePlace: You know what’s going on: I usually get up from the oven, put on a shirt and drink a glass of Stalin. Then I take my grandfather’s AK47 and go kill a bear for breakfast. But my bloodthirsty Russian soul demands, just insists on infants and virgins! You, the Civilized Georgian People, do not understand us.

(c) agel, 01.09.2008 at 15.24 am

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №9478
 03.09.2008
About the Rolling Stones (from ZH):
With the execution, indeed, there was some hint, because we, the Druids, did not allow religion to kill, and the king was innate humanism.
Call the cat! You must have a catch! We have insisted.
“We have no catch,” his majesty rejected.
And where is he?
“They were executed,” the king embarrassed."


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