Why can't you fuck off the flesh?
So, fucking, for some time, it will swim nearby, and also, with a high probability, it will be melted along the boundary. And, here, if the flesh is barbed, then the shit will surely pull under the flesh, knock in the gaps between the bars, and it will smell the whole alloy. But, it’s still a jerk, in order to jerk off the flesh without a special device, you’ll have to ask someone to hold you by the hand, here... the hands get dull faster than the person is dull. And if you are tied to a rope or fixed in another way, then a motorcycle with babies will inevitably emerge from some canal and they will not delicately turn away, they will yell: "Hi shit!and :)

In my opinion, we then came to the view that it was most efficient to prepare paper bags and throw them into them, then throwing them either to the shore or to feed the fish. But in the second case, weighers may be needed, so that it does not float.

333: you can throw in other boats and boats when meeting. The journey will be even more exciting.

444: The Pursuit! :D

555: These will be whole water battles. Insulted by the fever will go to abortion - joke the jokers.

666: This is how the pirate wars began.

Heath in the village:
Siri, remind me to close the greenhouse at 7 a.m.

xxx: Why did they cease to regard perversions as perversions and began to regard them as what they are not? What gesture is that?
yyy: Normal changes in the categorization of phenomena due to a change in scientific paradigms. For the same reasons, obsession with demons was no longer regarded as obsession, eclipse of the sun as evil spirits, and homosexuality as a disease. Or did you mean something specific? And, you know, in some cultures to come to the shadow of man is still a terrible sacrament.

When trainees come from the universe and school, the hospital is noticeably revitalized. In the departments, repairs immediately begin, nurses tell about the nasty practitioners, in short, fun.

But the most fortunate of us, pathologists, is that students really want to see the opening, and I want to get them out of fainting.

The own history. and Tuesday. I sit down, knock on the phone, knock on the door. A student comes in and says:

- We would have it, well, it is, in general, like an opening - a younger colleague

There are no bodies yet. - I answer because in the last two days the sanitary judge had more work than I did.

The student shrugged his head, silenced for 10 seconds and gave a cool phrase:

Aaa, it is a pity! This is here, and when will it be?

I relentlessly take a piece of paper and, trying not to smile, answer:

Grishin from cardio is weak. Probably on Thursday.

The student thanked and left. I laughed and forgot.

On Thursday, I am on holiday, I have a quiet breakfast and here the manager calls me:

- Artem Vladimirovich, explain why I now have students and are demanding to open a living Grishina?

I laughed to tears, and the whole morge, as they say, lay.

I worked at the ACS, day shift, noon.



A gray man, 50, comes to us and says they want to talk to me and sharply throws his cell phone into my hands. She was overwhelmed, but decided to listen to what they said. On the wire was the director of our large retail chain, who ordered me to give all the cash from the box and the safe to this gray citizen, otherwise he will be fired. Okay, she quietly pressed the alarm button, continuing to listen to the threats. And I will be fired and will not be taken to normal work for the rest of my life. Strong psychological pressure. Within a minute the GBR squadron arrived, I outlined the situation, the GBR quickly caught a gray man who cried that he was just a taxi driver and didn't know what he needed. They went to the table to inquire, called the police. The police arrived, I wrote an explanatory painting of what happened. I was saved by the fact that "yesterday" we were all informed about the possibility of such calls, after two days ago a new operator gave 500 thousand. cash for fraudsters.

XXX: What are you laughing at?
Over your jokes
XXX: I am not joking.

Comments on Robot sex dolls:
“I don’t trust these robots, they’ll sweat more.

XXX: They are dumb. On the contrary, it is necessary to declare Russia the country with the most free internet in the world – in contrast to the US with the NSA and China with the firewall. This is a chance to pull the Russian Aichi to the first place in the world! “We don’t have software patents and cheap kilowatts/hour with the nuclear power plant! Russia is the country of the best data centers in the world!

The tor blocks are blocked.

An old joke about the new way:
“Well, citizen, we found you with Tor and Torrent – we will be tried for terrorism and piracy!
But I did not terrorize anyone and I did not break anything.
But there is a tool!
Then judge for rape!
Have you raped someone?
No, but there is a tool.

Russians are blatant
Rus: I was now stung by the air conditioner.
Russia: half a kilo of plastic on a light head
Is the plastic broken?
Russian: thank you
Mikhalic: in the fortress of the head of the average vendor I am sure
There is no Chinese plastic in the fortress.

Hi, I want to tell you a fairy story that caused my hysteria. I work at a construction site, the position I have is something like the head of the construction site, without a fierce stress resistance and a lot of humour ***** for a long time to last on it is not possible in principle.

History of:

by Gene Dir. Once he asked us to hang a camera to see who is coming and who is leaving. is done.

A couple of months have passed, he comes today and tells me that I need to view all the records and make a list for each employee with a time indication.

Naturally, I tell him that this work is at least for a week, the camera hangs at a distance of 20 meters from the entrance and it is not possible to find out each of the 46 people in principle (who is in the cap, who is in the cap, and beyond our employees at the building another 200 people)

Here he publishes:

Write a program to recognize faces.

Hysterics in the whole office, the explanation that over this problem are beating 10 if not hundreds of programmers did not help...

Imho, concluded: Everyone came and went on time.

xxx: I went with the children to watch the lunar eclipse - I saw, under the cover of the darkness, some man threw out a tree with the remains of myshura. and weak.
YYY: The good moment was chosen. I imagine his wife asking - what happened to him that he finally liked? And he said that there was an eclipse in the sky... his wife’s roof is silent at this moment.

You are the fucking daughter! and))
I’t have insisted on that in your place, Mom.

A: Ingolstadt
F: Tupsk
A: The Columns
F: Ainainenay
A: The shoe?
F: I thought after Ingolstadt we moved to fictional cities...

Like most of them, the relationship with the mother-in-law did not go well. All I do not do so, but the apogee was the phrase: “Ira!!! and IRA! Go here and I’ll teach you how to clean the toilet paper.” Laughter and sin.

My friend lives in Brisbane and complains that there is no place to swim. There are poisonous medusas in the ocean, sharks in the river, and crocodiles in the lakes. In the rest, everything is OK.

You will become a vaccine hater. I used to think that such doctors run for them, an-no. To make the complex in 3 months you need to first pass two analyses - blood, urine - for this first get the direction at the local (breast day - Wednesday). The urine is taken from 8 to 10. Blood according to the schedule of the procedural cabinet on preliminary recording. Then with the analyses (true week) to the district (December day still only Wednesday), which sends for vaccination, which is scheduled Monday, Tuesday, Thursday from 12 to 16.
Is it Kafka or Quest?

(the only male in the female group)

So, the murder was committed in the men’s toilet of our editorial office! Who could do it?
Permanent visitor to the men’s toilet. God, it could be anyone.

In his work today, he coined a new term - Traditional programming - programming with the help of codes passed between programmers by inheritance in oral form.

My acquaintance is a shy little boy, not very able to deal with girls. At the same time, he is quite loving, but his sympathy does not last more than a few subway races.



One Friday morning he was in the subway, waiting for an evening beer with series and saw her. She was riding on some of her business with a giant flower in a pot. The subway in the morning is not the best choice. The surrounders nervously fixed the leaves of the plant and cried loudly.



The acquaintance decided to act in a knightly manner, stumbled against the lady, barred the flower from the crowd with his mighty shoulders (OK, I will not lie to you, the usual shoulders of an ordinary programmer, but at the time they seemed heroic) and decided to meet on occasion.



Now is the time for our hero to go. Using the opportunity, he asked the lady for a phone.

Okay, I will record myself.



The nymph grabbed the smartphone, stumbled on the promising numbers and barely managed to pass back when the crowd took the young man onto the platform.



Shocked by his own courage, he looked at the phone only when he reached the office. The numbers were available, but with the inscription: "Tani's girlfriend's phone, I have a husband."



The girlfriend was not enough.