bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №20178
 10.09.2009
From the Forum:
According to today's system requirements, 128 MB of operating memory is sclerosis

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №20177
 10.09.2009
Prep at the lecture:
"The third half of the table will be the largest..."

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №20176
 10.09.2009
xxx: sweet, I sometimes get bored of you, and I think you'll call now, and you'll call. Do you have this?
YYY: Of course it happens! Here, for instance, we go to the roof, dragging with a partner LVS shelf 33U to the 3rd floor, which weighs 100 kilograms. You are calling! )
XXX: Sculpture

[ + 132 - ] Comment quote №20175
 10.09.2009
I apologize in advance for not having any sense of humor. I hope the community will support.

05.09.09 in the area of 23:00-00:00 at the crossing of street. Plekhanovskaya and Ul. Pushkinskaya had a serious accident:
"Infinity" at a speed of 140-150 km / h, driving on the red light, crashed into the 9th, both cars turned, and "Infinity" eventually crashed into the next 10th. At this point, people approached her: the owner and the girl (21 years old).
The man with a stroke of the brain and cuts is now in hospital.
The girl died.

From Infinity, a guy and a girl came out, looked like, then he said he was sick, and he goes to the hospital. No longer saw him.

The case needs to be made public, because the guilty party does EVERYTHING so that there is no information about the accident and the accident itself.

Inhabitants of Voronezh help the mother of the girl who died in the car accident. Do not pass by, please. Please help us. Place this post in your home, and help to draw attention to it Russian media!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №20174
 10.09.2009
Money is rubbish and women are a vacuum cleaner.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №20173
 10.09.2009
Speeches of German School Students

In German schools, as in Russia, children write works and referrals. In some places, these breeds of unstable minds make them slip from the chair in the rocks of laughter.
Having recovered from another attack of fun, after reading one of these opus, I found the strength to translate some of the German school folklore into Russian.

So, what is the world of second-class students in Germany:

1st The Muslim Bible is called Kodak.

Fuji in Japanese is when you die.

2nd The Pope lives in the vacuum.

No bad idea!

Three In France, criminals were previously executed with gelatin.

4 is You can only marry one woman. This is called monotony.

Unfortunately, even secondary school students already understand this.

5 is We all have our own room. He doesn’t have a dad, so he has to sleep with his mom.

You are not lucky, Dad.

6 is Garden dwarves wear red caps so that they are not moved by a grass-cutting machine.

is logical.

7 is Men cannot marry men because then none of them will be able to wear the wedding dress.

What a pity.

8 is Life insurance is the money that the person who survived a fatal accident receives.

Absolutely exactly! And then he lives somewhere in Brazil under a fictional name.

9 is On the weekend, my dad took the first place at the rabbit exhibition.
What a wonderful dad.

10 is It is better to adopt. Parents can choose the child for themselves, not have to take what they will get.

This also works for domestic animals.

11 is During the day, God lives in heaven. Only on Sundays he appears in the church.

And constantly these pain of choice, about such a number of churches.

12 is My brother fell from a tree, and now he has a brain shock.

Thirteen The northern hemisphere rotates on the opposite side of the south.

Ecuadorians are happy to have breakfast in Africa and dinner in South Africa.
of America.

14 is Cows walk slowly to avoid spilling milk.
The smart ones.

15 is Rainworms bite after they only have a tail in front and back.

This is also completely logical!

16 is Peach is an apple covered with a carpet.

And “skinned” peaches shave before selling!

17th I am not baptized, but I am vaccinated.

You can be sure that it is much more useful.

18 is After humans ceased to be monkeys, they became Egyptians.

I did not know that! But I bitterly suspected.

19 is Spring is the first of four seasons of the year. In the spring, the chickens lay eggs, and the peasants the potatoes.

Here is the seat!

20 is The uncle took the pig into a barrel and quickly slaughtered it along with his grandfather.
My grandmother was left “for later.”

21 is My aunt had so much pain in the joints that she could barely raise her arms above her head. The feet were the same.

22nd The Earth rotates 365 days each year. But once every four years she needs one more day. This day always happens in February. Why so I do not know. Probably because in February it is always cold, and turning a little harder.

23nd My sister is seriously ill. She takes one pill every day.
But so that if parents do not see, or they will be worried.

What a caring daughter!

24 is The most useful animal is the pig. From it you can use anything - meat from hand to hand, skin on skin, brush on brushes, and the name for insults.

Translated by c German Gerzen ( www.pentagra.de ).

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №20172
 10.09.2009
Where did you get your tail?
The Queen of the Elves gave me.
Where did the tail come from?

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №20171
 10.09.2009
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
YYY: Well Titan is not bad such, Nickel so no
Wolfram, take care of it.
XXX in English?

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №20170
 10.09.2009
XXX: International Day of Literacy
Theme: Sponsored

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №20169
 10.09.2009
I have a new nick, please change my name. and :-)

f.0.x: what did you have?

Chapter 22: The Princess

f.0.x is very nice. No difference to me.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №20168
 10.09.2009
Standing in a favorable row to the apartment we touch eternity.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №20167
 10.09.2009
The reaction of the ordinary girl to no very characteristic white spots on the boyfriend’s jeans: "Fi, how embarrassing!", well, and all in this spirit.
The reaction of the girl-admin: "Bl#! So here is where I try the thermopast #la. It was on the chair, right?"

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №20166
 10.09.2009
- 1C released IL-2 under хвохЗБО
If they were to put the accounting under the tail...

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №20165
 10.09.2009
I talk to a client and he writes:
13:30:54 (9/09/2009)
This goods will go to export. for him a foreign car will come, i.e. the end on Friday he should be already in stock
13:32:25 (9/09/2009)
We are fun meduses. WAP to WAP!
We are like arbuses! WAP to WAP!
13:32:48 (9/09/2009)
Sorry, it’s not for you.

He has an interesting life.

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №20164
 10.09.2009
My friend went to INST.

Koval: tremble men, I was appointed old man.
Darkness: Did Goff already tell you how it will end?
Koval is EM? OO
Gefest: I know only one word at the 4th grade of the senior - "Take off!" :D

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №20163
 09.09.2009
xxx: remember, I told you about how some little one in the tax LA2 brought...
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY The entire tax shuttle the castle of the district administration!
Hell, there was a continuation!
I’m going to sit more comfortably 😉
In general, the taxpayers took this castle. Bullets, they have doher departments there, and in the administration someone with a network. Well, the district insulted a little, but moved back a little further on the site. The taxpayers have taken this castle. by Pizzeria!! I haven’t seen any more offended rays!
Thus, they are the worshippers!! to
Fuck, and that’s not all! The district workers, in short, went to the electric office, agreed, and at the next siege foolishly called the electricists to cut off the clock on the floor!
Revenge, revenge, revenge, revenge, revenge, revenge, revenge and revenge

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №20162
 09.09.2009
From the discussion of the new rules of the great and powerful:

And I am for!! I believe that if it is convenient for a person to say the word and call coffee "it" and "it" then let him talk to himself, what to limit him!!! to
Eagle: Fursenko, you are? 😉
MICHAEL777 is out of the forum!

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №20161
 09.09.2009
At work there was a crack.It is a crack at the xerox and can not turn on...The button ticks and nothing else! He is said to "Andrei, you press on-off, and then, on the button of the tick"...He...-"Aha... we stopped last year on electric trucks, and here immediately such a complex technique".

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №20160
 09.09.2009
Here you laugh, and we have a funeral office next to the house, and over it for years two signs hang: "Hello! We broke up!" and I understand that one letter is simply not visible in the fold.

[ + 79 - ] Comment quote №20159
 09.09.2009
I work on Tele2.
No, I always knew that it's not in itself, but so? The head of the IT department wrapped the black pen of the kitchen knife with a yellow insulator, walks in all ticks with the words: "Beline is striking back".

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna