I wash my new passport with my husband, I try to divide it into intimacy:

I: Oh, and I’m drunk... Oh, and I’ll be happy... Yes, stop! Where do you put me so much? A! You probably want to drink me, to take advantage of my helplessness.
husband and sleep.

X: Without this post, I’t remember it anymore.
YYY: Half a day has passed.
Zzz: Half a day is new memes, new users, a new era. I remember a joke that exploded the internet at 9 a.m. and at half eleven no one understood it. I’ve seen a funny picture that has been posted over hundreds of websites and where is it now? He was buried in oblivion, but it only lasted seven minutes.
Only bats, cats and breasts remain eternal.

The Physics Teacher’s Question: What other scale exists for measuring temperature besides Celsius?
The answer of the 8th grade student: calcium. How should the teacher react?
Ask to convert 5 Celsius into calcium, and all that remains, give you in sodium.

He has paid a rise in communal fees again. I am sending a request for current balance sheet to "Mobile Bank". The answer comes:
Oh yeah! * Part of the text is missing *

Husband: bought caviar, prepare bread.
Wife : How?
Wife: Come to the kitchen, scratch on your shoulder, say "Chuck, the caviar is coming, don’t worry"?

In college, I was taken into a literary association.

One of the most stunning characters was the lady, clearly painted the image of the Snow Queen from the Soviet cartoon. A walking ice. She wrote poems corresponding to her appearance. And here this lady reads a poem from the scene, where as an image appears the thin light of a projector lamp. One of the spectators, a young uncle, during the discussion asks:

Have you ever been to a prosecutor? How would we, in your opinion, open the dead if the lamp was dim?! to

I don't know how the next creative biography of the lady developed, but I would have moved on to writing children's songs in her place.

If a foolish boss starts asking you, “When will you get the same salary to do an extra job that you shouldn’t do?” you can answer, “When will Half-Life 3 come out.”

Damn, what a fun classic of domestic cinema! I decided to see the Joyful Boys in 1934, I understood where Kusturica took everything from.

XX: entrance of fun guys: one shot shoot a dofiga of minutes: a guy goes, sings, with all kinds of tricks, with animals, with people, BDSM :)

Discussion of the film:
XXX: What about the movie?
yyy: Film search - 3.5
YYY: I have to look, I think. Not everyone can this rating.

Once I was undergoing an examination in the military department, and in the office of the ophthalmologist doctors. I was shown pictures, allegedly a test for daltonism:
Q. What do you see here?
and I. The triangle.
Q. And what one?
and I. Downward downward down.
You are not ashamed, young man.
and I. For what?
No one has ever lowered a triangle like this before you.

I add :

But if the hands are slightly worse curved, laziness or lack of time is present - then the multivarka and saves.

Especially to Kossak "Yes, and what is interesting about us nowadays on the Internet? Why do we smell so ugly? and blue!and "

2007 Steve Jobs: Styles for Losers. The best stylus is your own finger. Our screens are perfect and you can work with your fingers instead of a stylus – applause in the hall.
2015 Tim Cook: “Overall, guys, we’re here... Stylus was invented” – Applause in the hall
— — —
2023 Tim Cook: In general, all you need is a three-chip button phone, and a super analogue TV viewing function on the 1.5 inch screen - applause in the hall

From Picaboo:

2007 Steve Jobs: Styles for Losers. The best stylus is your own finger. Our screens are perfect and you can work with your fingers instead of a stylus – applause in the hall.
2015 Tim Cook: “Overall, guys, we’re here... Stylus was invented” – Applause in the hall

by Anna Orlová:

My mom often remembers how I reacted to my newborn brother.
I was almost six and I wanted a sister.
Maybe she is still a sister? My mother decided to spoil me.
Waiting, of course, I would suggest to open the bullet and see :)
Well Mom! I looked at her disgustedly. You were given a certificate that you are a boy!
The future lawyer :)

My husband and I sat down to collect puzzles and have not been sleeping for a week :)

Today I encountered such a writing of the word "assesinisation" that I had to think for a while about what it was.

The Osynthesis.

The Chinese have all the sizes smaller than us. The Chinese full layer has a resolution of 640x480.

I am an adult unmarried woman. I need a cat, a literary circle and blue socks!

In the early years, everybody was feverishly questioning the newcomers, catching every news from Germany, day by day waiting for the collapse of the Third Empire. Now everyone understood that only war could lead to the collapse of the Reich.
And every slightly intelligent person also understood that a government that solves the problem of unemployment through the development of military industry will eventually face an alternative: war or an internal disaster. Meaning the war.

The Arc of Triumph, Erich Remark

Zzz: Did I have to beat women? To my shame, I admit, there was once a wife, a future. The thing was: I sleep and I dream of running away from someone. Whether it was a vampire or a zombie, I don’t remember. And here he catches me, pulls his back with his hand over his chest to stop and squeezes his teeth into my ear. In response, I had the strength to lick him in the mouth to get rid of him. I lay on my left shoulder and woke up.
When I wake up, I find my girlfriend crying on the side. The case is as it was. She decided to get close to me in the middle of the night. I laid my head on my shoulder, hugged me stronger, kissed in my ear... I had a long time to explain why the answer to these tenderness was a solid splash. Not very convincing.