After reading somewhere on the pick-up that if you’re tired of calling different investment companies, answer that I don’t have 18. Today the call, then I am, Operator-O.

See also: Allo

-A: Yeah, Nikolai, I got your data in my hands, I am with such a company engaged in investment.

I do not have 18.

How old are you, your voice is quite adult.

I am 16

Q: What year are you born?

And then I fell into a stupor, first wanted to say that 95, then remembered that those who were 95 years old in 20 years already, 5 seconds of pause...

I: 2002 year

A: You thought for a long time, well, tell me why you are deceiving people, I normally called. I will not call you anymore.



My conscience has shaken.

in the days. A client comes to us, except him and a couple of employees - no one. The customer went in, went out, washed between the doors (they are metal with glass), returned, looked at the goods, promised to think and left. Half an hour later he runs back, the money, he says, has disappeared from his wallet. We remember – indeed, a comrade walked on a raft, and wherever he walked, he laid his wallet, in his hands he swirled. You, he says, are like money sprinkled while I put my wallet on that table.



- No, says the employee, it was you who sprinkled between the doors and put the bills from the wallet into the pocket of jeans. On the camera at the entrance through the glass squares was clearly visible.



The client rushed to the exit, barely counting the steps, without objections.



In the meantime, I asked how this Yuri had time to look at our camera. And - he says - and did not look, there is nothing to look at: the camera is directed to the exit, what is happening in the tambour and the hall is not visible on it. He did theoretically and was right.



According to his first education, Yuri - a historian, for five years he went to a children's camp, ready for surprises, so to speak.

Every morning I go to work on the same route. Every day, at the same time, a young girl and a child come on the bus. They take a few stops. I try to sit by the window all the time, because when they come out at their stop, this little girl shakes my hand to say goodbye. Mashed and smiled. At first, I thought she’s mastering everything, but no child is looking at me, she’s going along the bus and looking for me with her eyes, and when she finds it, she’s immediately mastering – it’s amazing. I write this because I wanted to share, this girl just makes my day and charges with her positive and childish directness. It immediately gets warm in the soul. Man really needs so little to be happy.

I went to work at the same time. My girlfriend and daughter (aged 5-6) always crossed time with me. I sat down at the initial stop and drove to the end, and the girl sat down from the second stop on the way. I always sat on the "cam" so as not to disturb the rest, and the girl and daughter sat next to me. I ride in the headphones and never hear anything. One day I forgot my headphones. He sat down at his stop and walked into the vk. At the next stop, a girl comes in with her daughter and the daughter says, “Hello!” I answered, “Hello!” She looks at her mom and says, “He’s talking!” We quietly laughed and it turned out that the girl was always greeting me, and I did not hear in the headphones. I feel like a beast.

I’ve been studying in Texas for a year, but the text isn’t about that. When I moved to a new college, I had a girlfriend from Africa, I met her and she said she was from Equatorial Guinea. One day she asked me to take her to the neighboring campus, I naturally agreed, and here we go three, with my twin. To get to know her, he asked her where she was from. He was from Equatorial Guinea. To support the conversation, my brother told me that he recently read on the Internet (on Picabue) that they have a very bad president and a dictator. And she wasn’t surprised by his answer, she said that many people say it, but she likes it because it’s her grandfather.

Listening in the store.

Aunt is screaming:

You struck my phone yesterday, it no longer works!

The Seller:

What does not work? Phone with you, let’s see? ! to

The Aunt:

That look at it, black screen...Here, look.

The seller takes the phone, turns in his hands, connects to the charger...

Seller: Woman, have you tried to charge it? He is discharged!

My grandmother cried out to the store:

You personally assured me yesterday that the battery is exactly enough for a year.

The phrase "Building a hospital in your neighborhood will begin next month" pleases the villagers only for the first ten years.

Features of the Israeli service or How the global SWIFT system collapsed

It’s now my freedom to go somewhere and do something grandiose, very limited in time by my children’s school holidays. I was once free like the wind. Each period of life has its charm.

At that time I was read by Hemingway and one day I was able to travel to Florida (in general) and to the Keys (in particular) - namely to Kewest, where the great writer lived. Said - done: I bought a ticket to Fort Lunderdale with a transfer and a gap in a few days in New York. After Florida, go on a gallop through America: walk, walk.

I was lucky in New York: they just opened access to the Statue of Liberty, which was closed after 9.11 (in the courtyard was September 2004), but they did not allow to the very top, but only to the museum, so - not impressed. I was lucky with the hurricane. In Florida there was a hurricane season, and that year there were two hurricanes at once: one weaker and one stronger. When I was in New York, there was warm autumn weather, and the day I flew to Florida, the remnants of the first hurricane reached New York by a powerful cyclone (anticyclone?That literally flooded the city – even closed a couple of subway branches. I was already flying to Florida.

In Florida, it was summer weather and the only thing that reminded me of the hurricane just passed here was... a complete, more precisely, complete absence of tourists The streets of Miami and other cities were empty. This was my first visit to Florida, but I think there are usually a lot more people there. We picked up the car at the airport and headed south.

The second hurricane was approaching, and it was planned to reach the shores of Florida in a week, exactly the day after we flew from Tampa to Las Vegas. We were lucky in all directions: we didn’t plan anything in advance, and we couldn’t: leave New York the day before the flood, fly to Florida the day after a hurricane, and leave the day before the next. Luckily in all directions.

The global SWIFT system has collapsed.

Does this happen? Kren knows: I can’t say if it happened before or after these events, but it happened in September 2004 – I know it for sure.

So we rented a car and drove around Florida. In a week, we visited all Keys, Miami, and also Disney World. We only have to go to United and tomorrow we will fly to Las Vegas to spend the money we have earned with hard work. Cash we took with us at a minimum: like - came to the fortress of civilization, and we have two (I and my girlfriend) 5 credit cards. Let us break!

At Universal we were told that the map does not pass. I tried another one, another one... another one... None passed. What fucking thing? I went to the bankomat. It should be said that the money has not been removed.

Flight to Las Vegas, of course paid in advance, hotel, car, then flight from San Francisco back to Israel - all of course paid. But we really didn’t have the cash for gasoline, even to get to Tampa (100 kilometers from wherever we were, if I’m not mistaken), not to mention the very long trip from Las Vegas to San Francisco with a night on the road, and to visit Las Vegas and not lose at least $100 and not go for at least one show? Not seriously...

What to do? Without any hope, I call to Israel, to a loan company. It is night in Israel. There will not be day to day to serve you, and here is the night. Molly, we have gotten.

Surprisingly, the loan company not only responded in the middle of the night, but also began to look for the cause of the problem. My bank account is okay. The cards are not closed. Wait, they say, and they wait. A cell phone call is roaming from the U.S. to Israel... Okay, this is my last chance to save my vacation, otherwise... I don’t even want to think.

After 15 minutes of waiting, I was informed of the following: it turns out that the world system SWIFT has fallen, and if more accurately - that part of it, which is engaged in international transfers and confirmations of payments - it is the international, that is. If I had an American card, it would work. Israel would also work in Israel. The Israeli in America is FIG. And I thought Israel was already the 51st (52nd?) The State of America (Shutka). And this whole bida can last 3-4 days. The billiard! In three or four days, I’m going from Las Vegas to Los Angeles by car. And the money - there is not even in Florida to get to the airport of Tampa.

The writer.

Honestly, somehow I didn’t think about relatives or friends from Israel who could transfer us money. I can imagine their eyes when I call them and tell them something like, “I’m in Las Vegas. I’m in Meli, there’s no money. Give me a few hundred.” Their first reaction would be: “Yes, you have protected! How much money did you put there?”

Without any particular hope of help, I describe by phone to a person from a loan company in what ass I am in and already expect him to say something like: I can’t help anything, I’m preparing to bombard the streets of some town in Florida. Hopefully the crocodiles don’t walk in the streets.

And there happened the unexpected. The man listened to me and said, "Look, of course, we don't have instructions for this, but I can withdraw $500 from your account through your credit card, I will go to Western Union in the morning and transfer the money to you." It will be in the morning in a few hours. Of course I agreed.

And he did, I got the money, and after 2-3 days the credit cards worked out again.

What happened? A man commits a small official crime and removes money from my account. After that, after finishing the night shift on the phone, before going to bed, he goes on the way to Western Union and transfers me money. All because – I am in a difficult position at a distance of 12 thousand kilometers and my vacation is in danger. But he could treat the matter formally: I can't help anything, call the manager in the morning, maybe something will help. Farewell to! Have a good holiday!

But he didn’t do that, he really made an effort to help me get out of the situation I was in. Yes, of course, what I got into such a situation is their fault, the loan company. But it’s not his fault, he doesn’t have to help me.

and helped.

The vacation was saved, my friend and I had a very good rest and fun.

They also received a life lesson.

Gref: “And we don’t need math schools. I think it is a relic of the past. I am a strong opponent of mathematical schools.”
The journey, in the "College" is not all clean, since they are so afraid of those who know how to count.

The case was about 8 years ago.

I go to the dispatcher’s office, there is an expeditor from another brigade. Didn’t the brigade come?

I say I need money, taking for any work.

Word for word and she told me her sad story.

Her husband died suddenly last year. As it all happened, there was no money for the funeral. I took a loan. I asked my neighbor to go as a guardian. They were family friends and knew each other well. The neighbor agreed. He paid the loan correctly. After a while, a neighbor came to her with the same request. I helped you, now you help me. She agreed. Then the neighbor quarrels with his wife and disappears in an unknown direction. Stop paying the loan. She is to the neighbor. I said I didn’t take that loan. I will not pay. I am now paying out someone else’s loan. Almost all the salary goes for it.

You cut off your finger.

Googling is what you do.

and a fox. In the search engine "cut off the finger - we will tell you what to do"

Open the link:

1st The history of finger cutting from ancient times

2nd What the Finger is made of

Three How to cut a finger

4 is Why not cut your finger, but your hand?

More than 100,500 points.

And you scatter all this shit to find out what to do, and there:

Cut your finger and go to the doctor.

And so everywhere. is angry.

Equality is only half possible: everyone can live equally badly, and equally well-not.

Russian army in the late 1990s. In the middle of the steppe in the Jewish Autonomous Region. Combat brings information on the morning divorce:
Comrades officers and officers! A soldier fled from us. He left two days ago, so he’s already far away. But since there is no fuel in the part, we are looking for the escaped here!

You live a full and full life with a lot of adventures, and then it turns out that it is alcoholism.

The star of captivating happiness is polar.

Yesterday’s story of the villages reminded me.
My grandmother, who had long gone to the better world, lived in the village. In the village without livestock it is impossible: she had ducks, chickens, pigs, three cows, goats and rabbits. A dog to guard the whole farm. and a cat. What about a cat when mice and rats live next door? The cat was big and heard a great rat.
Then someone came to the village to carry chickens. Every morning someone lacked one or two insects. People began to think of the cat. A delegation came to my grandmother.
“Maria, your cat is stealing chickens. This is not the case, the walkers said.
All the arguments that it was not a cat came across a deaf wall of misunderstanding.
Shaking heart, the grandmother asked the grandfather to take the cat to relatives to the district center. Or somebody from the village could be quick on hand and learn to kill a cat.
The cat was taken away, and the chickens continued to disappear. The first walk of my grandmother:
“Because of you, Herod, I have taken sin on my soul.
The rumor that the cat was not spread throughout the village and stopped walking with complaints. The insects continued to disappear. A few days later there was a rumor in the village that it was a chicken bite and it was seen in several places.
And a few days later, a cat entered the cage... The pillows on his legs were scratched, the legs in blood, dirty, scratched... The cat approached the grandmother, looked at her and complained, as if asking to be left. Maybe I thought, but I saw tears in his cheeks and eyes.
Grandma carefully took the cat on her arms and large tears flowed on her cheeks. This is
It was the only time I saw my grandmother, a nurse who had gone through the whole of the Second World War, with tears in her eyes.
The cat was cured, and the neighbors no longer cried about the chickens. After some time, the cat, all in wounds, brought in the teeth of a dead hornet.

I’m so old that I remember the police chiefs being honest people in the movies.

A colleague yesterday, during the interruption, issued:

“I don’t consider myself a sexist. I would be a sexist if I thought that the place of a woman is in the kitchen. But I don’t think so, because men objectively prepare better than women.”

One day in a sample store where I work, a woman long persuaded her husband to sample another jeans. On the offer also something to look after, she replied, "I have everything, I don't have time to wear! “”

Here is the dialogue between the cabins:

Someone: Man, and where did you find such a woman? There is more there?

Our man from the cabin: no more, I will not give.)

Women: I have a lot of disadvantages, I drink and smoke))

Somebody (admired): So you can even bump! ? )

At school, a math teacher replaced a geographer and asked about the highest mountain on the planet. Everyone is screaming about Everest and it’s with them, and I’m picking up the Olympic peak on Mars. The teacher wanted me to get a pair, but I said I was right, because it was necessary to clarify on which planet! 10 for cleverness and cleverness.