XXX: Listen to me.
XX: I am somehow confused.
What do you have there again?
XXX: Now I stand, I smoke, I wait.
A guy in a panda suit approaches me and says that smoking is harmful.
You won’t argue...

My colleague told me a story today. They recently rebuilt, a two-story house, a large plot, to neighbors far away, a bathroom, and the fence has not yet been surrounded, so the bathroom on the hanging castle is closed; from her face it will be more funny: "We went with my husband to the bathroom, my husband from heavy duty - zombies look better, soon washed and left, and I stayed, washed up, got in a shirt, put on the shirt and went out to the basement. But here is the figure: the man on the machine hanged the castle, Ales the coat. I first knocked, then rattled and knocked my legs. Tired as a dog, and it is too late, and I come to know that my husband has cut off, small looking on cartoons, the son in headphones - and the children will go to bed in the rooms, so they would check if I am home. I wavered for another 20 minutes, and suddenly I hear the castle open – a slightly surprised husband said, “Oh, what are you here?” I went out to check if everything was in place". Fuck, he went out to check out! A little longer and I would be a widow.

I am lucky to eat wine at the restaurant for lunch. The children of Ruth"

A post with a proposal to make a shape for ice from a burning bulb and check the myth with the bulb stuck in your mouth:
xxx: while this layer is melting in 3-4 mm, the patient will receive a freezing of the mucous membrane.
Yyy: He doesn’t have to wait until he grows up. If the bulb is not pulled out immediately, it must be destroyed by itself:
1st Apperkot from the bottom to the jaw, lightly. The light bulb will crash, and the pieces of ice can spit out.
2nd Put into the clist (sprinkle) boiling water, and pour through the hole in the basement into the cavity of the "lamps". But you only need to be careful so that the subject does not scratch the esophagus and mouth.
Three Hit the cheek with a hammer, the lamp will burst.
and ZZZ: 2 Put water into the clist (sprinkle) and pour it through the rectal hole. A man will blink and the lamp will fly off by itself.

Baba from the car - Zombies escaped captured groceries rejoicing as children are cuddling you with cats the liver in the cages locked

From Twitter:

The Kremlin is discussing retaliatory sanctions against the United States:
Let’s close Obama’s account at Sberbank!
Open an account at Sberbank.and :)

Moreover, I do not see the need for public lobbying in heterosexual couples. It irritates and repels. Especially if there are children nearby.
— — —
These people are fools and they make laws. Let’s ban kissing, computer games, movies and the internet – or what children will see. Yes, there are idiots who arrange a prelude to sex in public, but their units, and what now, normal guys because of them can kiss their girlfriend only at home with the curtains ripped and the light turned off? You go into the fool, disrespectful.

Commentary on the news: "Nazlo of Japan: Ivanov’s trip to Iturup caused diplomatic hysteria in Tokyo":
In Japan, Ivanov visited an airport belonging to the Russian Federation, which is located on the territory of the Russian Federation.

Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up

According to the Corriere della Sera, in Italy sealed apartments and villas belonging to the businessman Rotenberg worth 30 million euros.

The State Duma has submitted a bill on compensations from the state budget to citizens and companies whose property has been alienated by foreign courts. Under the law, Arkady Rotenberg, whose villa was arrested by the Italian authorities on the eve, will be able to seek compensation, the author of the bill told RBC.

You are Crimean! Let the whole country wreak, but we wreak!

I don’t know if I should wear an umbrella or not.
Better take it.
Baomin: When I take my umbrella, there is no rain.
Jooly: Don’t take it
“But when I don’t take an umbrella, I’m going to fall in the rain.

Jooly: then use the principle of quantum uncertainty
Baomin: How is it?
Take a broken umbrella.

I think I should finish the poem about the times of the year.

The summer has passed,
The autumn has come,
The Euro 49
The dollar 38

The autumn has passed,
The snow, look at it.
The $48
The Euro 63.

All the snow has flown,
Summer in the garden.
The dollar was banned.
Euro is nowhere.

At the exchange points,
Wherever you look,
Now only the yen.
Gather the yuan.

to this:
In general, I counted a little here, it is possible to get out of everything 100%.
Only the consumption of catalysts will be large enough, and the temperature delta will be small.
I will think about safety!
and----
Magi, People with the big letter, and their motto was - "Monday begins on Saturday." Yes, they knew some spells, they knew how to turn water into wine, and each of them would not have trouble feeding a thousand people with five loaves of bread. But the magicians were not for that. It was a shell, outward. They were magicians because they knew so much, so much, that the quantity finally turned into quality, and they came into a different relationship with the world than ordinary people. They worked in an institute that dealt primarily with the problems of human happiness and the meaning of human life, but even among them no one knew exactly what happiness was and what the meaning of life was. And they accepted the working hypothesis that happiness is in continuous knowledge of the unknown and the meaning of life is in the same. Every person is a wizard in the shower, but he becomes a wizard only when he begins to think less about himself and more about others, when working becomes more interesting for him than entertaining in the old sense of the word. And their labor hypothesis was far from true, because just as labor turned a monkey into a man, so does the absence of labor in much shorter time turn a man into a monkey. Even worse than the monkey.

I’ve been a prostitute for 14 years, ahhh, you know what happened to me. You can’t even imagine what situations I had and what people I served)) For example, in 2011 there was a client to whom a mistress came unexpectedly, he hid me in the closet and had sex with her... but it wasn’t all so easy, then his wife and mistress came he stuck to me in the closet. I tell her, “Don’t be afraid, I’m a prostitute, but sit quiet, or we will be killed.” In general, we are sitting in the closet and of course the wife needed to look into the closet, she opens it, sees us, and then the husband turned out of the situation, so no one expected - he hit her on the head with a vase and cut off) us he pulled out quickly. I don’t even know what he was telling her there later, but it was an effect.)

>xxx: The Atheists-Aitishniks: Nothing is BIG!

Believers: Do you see the bag? And I am not. And he is!

You can test your property to anyone.
— — —
The world is more interesting than you think.
Minor or disabled children of the testator, his disabled spouse and parents, as well as disabled dependents of the testator inherit, regardless of the content of the will, at least half of the share that would be due to each of them when inheriting according to the law (obligatory share). Thus, the elderly father, even if at every meeting he scolded his son with a bowl with the cry of "Pidaras, the shame of our family" - will receive no less than half, even if his son gave all the property to his fellow resident.
Not to mention the fact that there is a certain difference - the joint property remaining after the death of one spouse the property of the other - or the separate property that they test each other and after the death of the one on whom the common apartment is registered, the latter walks on the bushes, without even having a teaspoon and a pot, and tries with the spouse's mother-in-law, who did not wish to know him.

*******************************
I am probably a humanitarian.

*******************************

Fairy

“He’s not gluing anymore,” my wife reassured me after she suddenly glued a depilation patch on my hairy leg, which she had just used several times. by VIK! Part of my leg became clean like a baby’s ass. I’d probably think that I’d be ‘crazy with him’ if I wasn’t a swimming coach.

Yesterday on the escalator in the shopping center while driving for a couple (/M/woman and /B/London), I heard their short dialogue:
B: I already have a headache in the departments of the jacket to choose.
M: Oh, no, A. I was in the car an hour ago and wanted to go to sleep.
B: I am telling the truth. Head, straight and wooden.
M: This is her usual condition.
B: Are you an officer? Usually she is cotton, and now she is even more ill.

xxx: the child burned yesterday, he sits with me drinking tea and in the phone grabs his own, and then gives - mom let me android better buy, or in the school all normal androids, I am like a bad guy with Iphone

The head of the fire today
Service was in the office.
He takes the means, he begins to mourn, what are all the foolish and lazy here, that is forgotten and gives the phrase:
No one will lick your ass here. You are going to be prostitutes. They will do it for a couple of things...
* A small pause
In other words, I do not know the exact price.
* A small pause
He closed his eyes and thoughtfully left the office.

I am looking for an admin. I come across the announcement of "Engineer-System Technology". The requirements are the same as those of Sisadmin, except for the latest proposal "experience in the field of programming".
I decided to take a risk and call. I was asked if I installed the program on my computer. I say yes. The girl at that end, do you have experience in programming? I answered that I have.