bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №103214
 24.09.2014
I worked, 2 years ago, as a seller-consultant in a clothing store, by the time it was a month as, i.e. I have learned a little and I know the group more or less. So I stood somehow next to the box office (she was almost in front of the entrance door) with a colleague (Iliya seemed to be his name), some things they did, communicated. Then he went to another hall, and a minute later, from the main entrance, he entered only in a jacket and a coat, which he said, “Call Elijah,” and he went out. I was in a stupor, the administrator was nearby also approached, says:"Go Eli call"-I stand, I try to squeeze something out of myself, then he is already laughing:"You are smoked something?". I thought, everything... the Matrix was broken or a stem of any kind, as it turned out that this Ilya has a twin brother, about whom he has never talked about in all my time of work. I have the first in my life "brain trauma" of this kind.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №103213
 24.09.2014
and friendly.

Does Japan and the United States have friendly relations?
ZZZ is yes.
But the United States dropped two atomic bombs on Japan.
zzz: Do you suggest us, e..., to make a relationship?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №103212
 24.09.2014
Non-traditional orientation is one thing, its propaganda is fundamentally another.
— — —
I have no idea how to promote orientation. It’s like promoting a Chinese to be a Negro, a dog to be a cat, and bread to be a sausage. If I stand for women, let the books be written, let the posters be drawn, let the parades be held, I will still stand for women. The opposite side is the same. It would be better to ban the propaganda of the PGM, it would hurt more.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №103211
 24.09.2014
Word may prohibit calls from Skype to subscriber numbers of Russian operators
xxx: We would say directly that the bubble is going past the pocket of some Russians from the “big mobile trio.” Large operators lose up to 90 billion rubles a year because of this. This is the essence of this news.
yyy: Soon taxis will count how much they lose because of the subway and will offer to close it

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №103210
 24.09.2014
I found a Notebook for Class 10 here.
XXX: On the last page
In the syringe is a mutagene that will turn the bridegroom into a huge aggressive monster with which the doctor is going to capture the world.
XXX: I sit and think
XXX: What

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №103209
 24.09.2014
The same methods can justify pedophiles, zoophiles, necrophils and cannibals. Sado-mazo and swingers, in comparison, are children's leaves. In general, giving in to the pedestrian, we will get a very dangerous precedent, threatening the destruction of civilization.

– – – –

Civilization has existed with the same sex for so many millennia, and here it came out and threatens to be destroyed. Civilization looks at you as a sick person.

And this is even if we do not take into account the terminological chaos of homosexuality and homosexuality and a complete misunderstanding of the difference between voluntary relationships and violence (in the case of pedophilia) and unauthorized subjects such as animals and bodies (the essence of fetishism).

Try to increase education.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №103208
 24.09.2014
My mom hit me and caught me in depression :(
YYY : Why?
Previously, when I was throwing your jeans into the laundry, I was constantly pulling condoms out of my pockets, and lately they’re not there. Are you completely desperate and lost hope?
YYYYYYYYYYYY
My mom is burning!!by 11111

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №103207
 24.09.2014
Caring in an emo environment is a complex and confusing ritual.
Its main task is to find out the sex of the partner as unobtrusively and delicately as possible.
c) The joke
____________________________________________________________
You are lying, my dear. This is not an anecdote, but a twisted quote about the Gnomes from Terry Pratchett's books. Dwarves not only in the view of other species all equally bearded, in helmets and purely abstract somewhere there under the knots differ in gender, but also between themselves the question of gender only in marital relationships and affect, without having a social gender role.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №103206
 24.09.2014
The first "response"

Q: Could I get pregnant if I wasn’t finished, it was without a condom but went in for 30 seconds?

ууу: "inserted seconds on 30" - this phrase made my day, you can go to bed)))

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №103205
 24.09.2014
Damn, like a film about Holmes, so he is there necessarily a sociopath and a shit. I already imagine Miss Marple in modern interpretation – army shoes, piercings, tattoos, a motorcycle... And a lesbian more. The film begins with a frame on which the "Psychiatric Hospital of St. Mary Mead".

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №103204
 24.09.2014
Viol: I know one guy under the nickname Elizabeth and he has no problem with that. Communists can get into it. You know, Marx, Engels, Lenin, Plekhanov. In the case of Marx and Engels, you need to know German.
Viol: One in one - not to be distinguished from the historical prototype.
Viol: Even the features of the face change a little. It looks a bit awful from the side.
Viol: True, he drinks all sorts of herbs for this, so it is not without medicinal effects on the psyche.
Viol: He has a pretty busy history, like many of my acquaintances in this field, he started with Satanism.
Viol: And he wanted to become an obsessed demon.
ACCount: He wanted the devil and got the communists?
Account is Ohuenno.
Viol: The Bible does not expel communists - verified.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №103203
 24.09.2014
From the discussion of the article on Oktoberfest 2014.

X: A couple of pints and a carousel - desperate people in Munich gathered.
Y: Pinta is an English measure. In Bavaria they drink liters.
X: It turns out that Russia and Bavaria have a lot in common, because we also drink liters.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №103202
 24.09.2014
5) To prove that you are not a "destroyer" and not a "drug addict" the hot heads of one with you orientation offer to hold "parades", as in Europe with Americans.
6) Google at the request of photographs from those "parades" publishes photographs of some frics - men in women's underwear or with pitches on top, women with naked breasts, unclear sex creatures pulled into the skin, chains and with phalloimitators coming out of their mouths...
____________________
Idiots are gay too. Approximately the same frequency as normal. But you can always see in the first place is the idiots - bright, dumb. You still judge all Russians by the participants of the Russian marches, Ukrainians - by the Maidaws, ecologists by the greenlist, and women by the utkogubim solarium chickens-grills.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №103201
 24.09.2014
The Homosexuality:
I normally treat homosexuals and hate pederasts, probably because I have never seen a single live gay, and pederasts surround me both at work and in transport, and here at home one right across the road parked...

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №103200
 24.09.2014
The customer has received a sample of price agreement protocol. 64 graphs horizontally. It is called a file "One Common PC"

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №103199
 24.09.2014
Hackers posted intimate photos of Conchita Wurst on the Internet, but no one needed them.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №103198
 24.09.2014
The season of oysters is those months in the name of which there is the letter "r". That is what I know. You can order them by May.

My mom at the station said the same thing about the cold.

...Yes? should be. I don’t even know why ice cream can be a seasonal meal. Probably this is somehow related to the cattle hotel, with the ancient calendar.

This is an ancient belief, kmk, associated with the absence of refrigerators in the stations.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №103197
 24.09.2014
The Mockup:
The guard said to me this morning:
Tell me, what level are the tanks?
I do not play.
Okay okay?
and seriously.
Does the car not pull anymore?
Humorist

M is :
I am ? ?
Are you so poor that you don’t have a computer to play?
Or is it more here?and narcotics

The Mockup:
Yes Yes
I don’t play tanks because the computer is shit.

M is :
I don’t see any other reason why he doesn’t play that shit ?

The Mockingbird :)
Wildly popular
All young people play.
He thinks I may be 20 years old.
I already have grey hair.

M is :
Those young people say you’re in a domino.

The Mockup:
Fuck the fish.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №103196
 24.09.2014
If you have an apartment or office overlooking the Kremlin, then the big question is who is watching who.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №103195
 24.09.2014
We went to Simferopol by train. Ordinary food, nothing supernatural. July, night... Bank of beer, cards and a friend pathologist. We were overcome by wild insomnia, so we talked for life and played a fool. After the twentieth party, he suddenly stood up sharply and looked into the corridor, after which, with such a manic face, sat back and said:
What a beauty!
For some reason I thought he had seen a beautiful passenger or something like that, and decided to check. Looked out, and there was nothing but sleeping passengers on the different sides of their legs. Pressing my shoulders, I sat closer to the window and looked at the lights flying past.

A friend suddenly stood up and, grabbing his wallet, headed somewhere toward the toilet. I did not even attach much importance to it. Then it turned out that this man was going to the toilet, took out of his portfolio of handbags and put on the big fingers of the legs of all those sleeping in the car. When I said he was a fool, I slept and fell asleep.

I woke up from the terrible scream of the conductor, who was heading to another wagon, and saw this wonderful picture. Looking at a friend and again seeing his maniacally satisfied smile, I realized that the pathologists have a rather peculiar sense of humor.

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