The wife of a friend from my country brought home a liter of 60% hydrogen peroxide and, having come up with nothing better, poured it into an empty bottle of beneath the well-known mineral water in our city. He put it in the refrigerator and ran away for his business. My husband came from work, on the street of the heat we have now, I think you guessed, opened the refrigerator, saw a familiar bottle of water, drank a few gloves.

As a result of the resuscitation, doctors are currently fighting for his life. But what surprised me even more was that his wife was a devout — well, he couldn’t guess that there was no water there. You could not even sign a bottle. ! to ! to

Have you ever been fooled for
a) you are fattened and do nothing to lose weight
b) You eat little, and my mother tried, cooked
... at the same time?

inna_kr: Tanya, you have a tough character. I know for sure. It was these words that the repair master told me, who did not repair my umbrella in time, in response to the requirement of the umbrella and the money back. (I eventually got it back.)

Tanja_tank: Yes, I had to hear that. Except for destructive people. "Incredibly heavy man", "evil and avenging"...

maya_ya81: Right from the tongue removed) All who do not let themselves eat, character for some reason "hard" and "bad".

Inna_kr: I think it’s easier to eat. Only then why=that have to spit out with the comment "tfu, well and character"))

He stood on a ambulance in one of the schools of the Old Bathroom. What was my surprise when the first-class student, standing for 10 minutes with a completely brick face, turned to his parents, changing his face to a wild cry, and shouted, "Give me Santa Claus! You promised me! I won’t be here anymore!"

We had three first classes in 1998: a, b, b, a little, because it was 91 years of birth. Taken by the type of intelligence, I was not taken off in A for saying that it was necessary to bury a hole on the road, rather than bypass it on the edge. Now it is clear why the roads in Russia are bad.

If you have time to see your wife naked more often than a gynecologist, then family life is still going on.

She spent most of her childhood, frequently visiting her mother at work in a children’s oncological rehabilitation center.
So, for the rest of his life, an indelible impression left a 17-year-old girl with her boyfriend. She had osteosarcoma, had several chemotherapy sessions, cut off her left leg above her knee. Once a guy came to visit her, the girl tells him, say, let's go, I don't want to ruin your life. The guy said to her a firm “no” and stated that she was the best for him.
Not so long ago I met them by chance. She is in pants, with a prosthetic, of course, walking, holding her hand, with them two children. They talked, the older son (he is 6), proudly stated that his mother is the best, because she is the Terminator.

Don’t raise your children, they’ll look like you anyway. Educate yourself.

xxx: For a decade and a half, as I went to work on September 1, by the line of school No. 2, I saw on the faces of the children expressions similar to those of the Jews standing in line in the gas chamber. And their parents, who smelled all summer, while the children the rest, seem to hide the evil smiles.

I don’t see my grandmother often, a couple of times a year. It seems to me that in these intervals she is pumping the level of her "grandmother"))
This is the last time I have dinner with her for dinner.
I ate three, ate and slept in thanksgiving.
Next dialogue "I" and grandmother "B"
Sunshine, take another one.
I am Grandpa, thank you, it was very delicious, but I ate it.
No, if it were delicious, you would have taken another one.

All the thieves are equally happy, each author is unhappy in his own way.

When I was young, my grandfather told me that a tooth is like a seed, if it is sown, other teeth can grow out of it. As a proof, he told me to put my falling milk tooth under my pillow for the night. I did so one day, and my grandfather stumbled into the room at night and placed his insert jaw in the place of that tooth. I loved my grandfather joking about what to say.

Why does glass taste like blood?
I do not know! I have long wanted to know why the candle smells of burned nose hair.

xxx > at the rocker's elegant call center on the 5th floor of Mendeleev 33. even the rest room / sacrifice with a large telecome (
yyy > they are there visibly and are sitting all the time, because they are not working

Super-positive emotions are children in the playground. Almost an empty playground. No noise or gamma. Unusually quiet. Only two children. A boy of five years old, enthusiastically composed of strands of different length led only him one figure, and the girl - a little older and clearly more active.

It revolves around the boy. It looks like he wants to get acquainted, but he doesn’t notice her, focused on his models of aircraft (?) He creeps and puts prunes on the sand.
The girl is initiative and entrepreneurial. She, like a monkey, cleverly climbs to the very top of the turnik, clings her legs to the curtain, turns down her head and, apparently, wanting to hit him in the very heart, cries to the boy:

Look how I can!

The boy quietly moves a couple of prunes, completing the project of some parallel piped, raises his head, looks closely at the pleased acrobat and says:

I am smart!

Colleagues are arguing about something.

Member 1 (age approximately 25):

I give a tooth!

Group 2 (approximately 40):

You, young people, are so easy to scratch your teeth... I, for example, can’t afford that!

The elections. All vertical surfaces are glued with posters with candidates. Therefore, one and the same song of the Leningrad group revolves all the time in my head.

I work in a store, a grandmother goes to us, feeding the eagle of local cats, which we give them a delay.
The next day, the grandmother goes past the store and calls all her cats for lunch:
The man! The Duck! The Sun! by Katka! and etc. All female names
I stood, smoked and asked:
- Aunt Lucia, what do you have, all the cats?
Why is? No is. A man’s cat!
and :-)

I had Sasuke’s best friend. One day we fought a lot with him and stopped communicating. Then I decided to write him a letter of reconciliation. I sent it and never received a response. It’s been five years since then, but today I got a call from Sasha! He received this letter a few days ago. The Russian Post can sometimes do wonders, in short :)

The boys are playing, fighting:
The power of the earth!
The power of water!
The power of fire!! (Return to Someone’s Fall)
The Power of Three!! to