bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №143234
 21.07.2017
When I was a child, I went with a friend and his grandfather to fishing under the ice. It was 5 km away. There was no pedestrian or colloquial in the presence, they took a loot with them (approximately such as described by the author) to crush the ice. Naturally, the broom was dragged by the grandfather, rolling on his shoulder like a lenin barrel on the famous Sabbath.
After about an hour and a half of rushing, taking the mountain, overcoming the snowy fields, we came to the fishing place. A friend grabbed the breakout, with all the thickness he plunged over the ice of the frozen hole. лом said goodbye to the day, and escaped through his hands to the bottom of the reservoir. Since then, it has probably been torching there, like the mattress of a sunken cruiser - covered with corals and other underwater life...
Can I give examples of coordinates for Dywing?

Call it Escalibur and ask the Lake Virgin to provide it to you... And then the manstrels will compose ballads about you and your Loma and the feats you accomplished.


[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №143233
 21.07.2017
Sister: - I had to sleep with this frog!
I: – This shit is your husband.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №143232
 21.07.2017
(from the blog)
I was checked out at the exit from Bali airport. Man was not a border guard, I crossed the borders. The reason - "a lot of Russians in Bali"! I broke the entire suitcase, touched the sandstone from Hong Kong, looked at underwear, women’s hygiene (sorry), book leaflets (and you just had to hit the surface so that everything fell out). How lucky are you?And it" showed me. And a lot more... I’m about it... I’m sure that Muslim women have a different attitude! You can walk in a niqab without showing your face. Why can't a woman in a niqab look, and I can't in shorts and a shirt? Why should I show my face and the contents of the suitcase, and the other woman would have an advantage? Where is Justice? Do you need tolerance for the nickabus or ordinary people? Why are there separate rooms for prayer at airports? Do you not have too many rights, believers? Muslims... Christians... I think it’s time to protect us – atheists! I am sorry, Nippon!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №143231
 21.07.2017
"Sue" is a sublimation of the desire "that everything should be". In the case of the kidney, this is the desire for child independence: Peppi is physically strong enough to drag a horse and storm two adult bandits, she lives alone, but cautiously supplied by a far-floating daddy with a gold box for all needs and a house-villa. That is, the world of boring forcing to go to school, being polite and disciplined adults - over it has no power. She knows geography well (when swimming with her father, the little girl came out), but at the same time she does not want and does not teach elementary reading and writing skills.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №143230
 21.07.2017
The bubble code
He could not recognize the list.
He was given little in his childhood.
Knuta

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №143229
 21.07.2017
The better a person is educated, the more complexes he has.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №143228
 21.07.2017
On July 18, it was 102 years since the birth of the largest Russian genius, who did not operate a single person and saved millions of lives, Vladimir Petrovich Demikhov. Demichov is the father of transplantation. Most of his experiments he conducted in the raw basement laboratory of fifteen square meters of the Sklyphosophsky Institute.
In 1967, South African surgeon Christian Barnard first transplanted a human heart, he immediately became a millionaire, and then entered the list of the 200 most important people of the 20th century. About the fact that before this he had secretly trained in Demikhov's laboratory for several months, having come to the USSR as a tourist, he could not say, in order not to hurt Demikhov. Demichov continued his experiments on animals in a small laboratory, sometimes bringing them home, simply because in such conditions they did not always survive. This is the law of genius - the one who makes a real breakthrough in his field rarely has dividends from it, coupons will be cut by the one who follows the development of the idea.
The attitude to Demikhov of the Soviet Ministry of Health was ridiculously sad. The then head of the Ministry of Health called Demichov’s experiments “anti-scientific, charlatanic and harmful, but at the same time he was forbidden to go abroad because he demonstrated his experiments at a congress in Germany in 1958, for which he was accused of disclosing the state. The secrets. So I want to ask: so fake science or gentleman. The secret? As in an anecdote, the wife of her husband calls: "the goat, the goat, the impotent!" Her husband replied, “You will decide whether I am a cowboy or impotent.”
When the legendary Michael Debayki came to Moscow in 1996 to insure our doctors who were doing the heart shunt to Yeltsin, he told reporters that he would like to worship Demikhov. None of the journalists knew this name, then Debayki repeated by slogans, claiming that he was simply not understood. Debayki regretted that Demichov was not a doctor, but a biologist, and could not demonstrate his virtuous technique of operation on a human. And Demikhov at the time lived his age in a small one-bedroom apartment with old furniture. He was swept to the bottom of endless distress. In recent years, he has not even left the house because he could easily get lost. So ended his life the man who changed the world.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №143227
 21.07.2017
Judge Khahalev deserves all respect, could invite Elton John and J. Lo to the wedding, but acted as a true patriot.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №143226
 21.07.2017
When I was 16, my father gave me the advice: If you see someone beaten on the street and you can’t pass by, you have to whisper loudly and shout “POLICE STAND.” The hooligans usually run away from this without even seeing who is screaming there.



The next day I went to work, the first hour of the night. I passed by a supermarket where big bushes grow and few people walk, I watched a man 5 clutching two guys with their legs, remembering the advice whispered loudly, shouted "STAND POLICE". The effect was simply offgenic, all escaped... Even those whom they put on their feet.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №143225
 21.07.2017
told my brother.

Even before the army in the early 1990s, he met a girl. After a night's walk, she left him the address where she lived, because she didn't have a fixed phone.

The next evening, the brother decided to go to her and invite her again for a walk, but the girl was not at home, but at the threshold he was met by a hospitable father:

Don’t be ashamed, come in. We drink tea, and Donna is drawing.



The first thing that came to mind was the number of cockroaches. They were everywhere. Three to four pieces per square meter of any surface: walls, ceiling, furniture. But refusing was already uncomfortable, I went in anyway.



I was sitting somewhere from the hour when it became dark on the street, my father couldn’t stand it.

“Let’s go,” he said, “to look for it. You can sit down until morning and wait.



Both my brother and I went in an unknown direction to find the girl. entered the private sector. The father stopped at a fence and said:

“Stand here, now I’ll look...” and swung through the fence.

For 5-7 minutes, the brother stood by the fence, not understanding, he signed up for such a evening - it was necessary to immediately unfold when he learned that the girl was not at home. Here is Betty’s voice:

Hold on!

Through the fence appeared two hands with a fence. The brother grabbed the pen and pulled on himself. In the cage there were tightly robbed chickens with twisted necks, still warm and some moving.

"Sadly I did not find the bag," said the girl's father with notes of sadness, after being again on this side of the fence, "there was such a good pig, I had to leave.

Okay well. Go home, I’ll tell you that you came in. What is your name?



My brother never saw her again.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №143224
 21.07.2017
Concierge Christopher Te from Sydney (Australia) invented glowing punches, glonuts. More accurately, they only shine a glazure made of the juju fruit, to which vitamin B2 is added in large quantities. Its excess and causes the lighting effect. It is not harmful to health. In general, take, people, enjoy, eat at night, with all the amenities, and even the lights do not need to turn on, you will not miss the food. Here is fucking.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №143223
 21.07.2017
On Tuesday, an inspector came to the object: He asked the contractors for a journal of welded works. They provided
Q: Where are the documents for the person responsible for the disputed work?
Q: I can’t be responsible, I don’t have a welding bark. "Petrov" write, he and the crustaceans have all the necessary.
I: Okay, let it be "Peter", and there is an order for it?
Q: Of course, he is the CEO!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №143222
 21.07.2017
The main thing is not to get into the ears.
WOW: And they can?
XHH: there is such a legend %)
Oh well :)
That two-washes will float into the ear, lay eggs, small two-washes will peel out of them, float into your head and eat your brain. It may have been in your head for a long time. Neural connections are cut in pieces. by KUSKUS
WOW: O_O
There are tattoos.
Twins eat cockroaches
WOW: O_O
You don’t have any cockroaches on the veranda. Think of Wifi? Figures
Who eats the twinkle?
and the birds. But where will they get you on the veranda? Wardrobe Leads
WOW : )
You don’t believe me, don’t you?
In a month, it will be the size of a pigeon. I'm going to catch the birds now :)
Take a bigger sock, do you know what snakes look like?
Well, the little ones.
Healthy people are black. with long sticks, so that it is more convenient to get a double-eye from the ear
A small silver. This is who?
These are worms.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №143221
 21.07.2017
Once you were in a deaf village, there you come to a large tree on Wednesday and wait. Pacifica is coming. If you don’t like it, or you don’t have seats, or the windows are blurred, come on Friday, maybe you’re more lucky. This is his schedule. Or 25 km walk to the track.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №143220
 21.07.2017
However, here is even an excerpt from the medical sources: "The attachment of the embryo to the uterus is the process in which the fertilized egg is implanted into the uterine mucosa."
So yes, the fertilized cell is already an embryo. Open the wiki.

You just need to read further that the implant occurs on 6-10 days, and it is no longer a fertilized cell, but a blastocyst consisting of a large cell mass.
Read everything that is written, not just what is beneficial, readers of figs!

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №143219
 21.07.2017
"Vasa, which is Basil, comes from the word "Vasilevs", which means "ruler".
"King Vasily the Terrible" is twice the king".
And also Peter the Liberator, Catherine the Red Sunny and Paul II the Bloody in a new alternative history.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №143218
 21.07.2017
The counting

help me! MCH inherits a planet from a distant relative. There are spiders on the planet who worship it for six months (during the summer); and six months of winter trying to kill it.

This is the story of Alexander Gromov "I give you a star", the model for assembly has an audio version.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №143217
 21.07.2017
xxx: today epically mistaken when quoting the proverb, causing a slight stupor in others.
"Make a woman and listen to the opposite."

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №143216
 20.07.2017
Discussions about various preservatives
XXX: So he shines in the dark. And another is gold) and with black you can play in a nuclear power plant, fucking))
I am very interested in nuclear power plants. Is it how?
It’s, in short, you’re on the squad, you’re going to explode now, and he’s immersing a black graphite rod into you and saving the planet from an ecological catastrophe.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №143215
 20.07.2017
and automatic response. Automatic response to scream" and so on.

It was also known to A. Macedonian that she was different in different people. According to the legend, Alexander the Macedonian, when he placed soldiers in the phalanxes, he whispered the soldiers on their faces and watched who of them was red and who was pale. In the first sheets he placed those who were red, and in the last - those who were pale.

He knew that those who turned red had a good reaction and were ready to go to battle first. But they will not be enough for a long time. And when the first bars tremble, the soldiers from the back rows will enter the battle. Of course, they have a worse reaction, but they will get a already exhausted opponent, and the main thing will not be the ability to be fast, but the willingness to fight for a long time, without losing their heads.

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