I don’t want to seem boring, but it’s the saddest end of the world in my memory.

My husband gave me a gold ring.
I sit and listen...

The best way to dislike a woman is to marry her.

My husband is writing a doctoral...it’s to the word...
He goes to the X-ray. A young beautiful doctor, critically looking at him, says, “Well... cover up the most valuable.” When he looked around, he said, “What’s in your head?” She thought, “You’re the first person to think of the head.”

If a woman says, “You just don’t worry,” it’s actually too late to worry.

Ohhhhhh In the morning on TV report, around a house, the developer began cutting down the city park for the construction of new buildings. People went out into the yard of the house to prevent cuts and express their dissatisfaction. Uncle policemen went out to the meeting, declared the rally unauthorized and dispersed people from their own yard to their homes. The authorities refused to comment.
Oh well. I don’t know of any other country where people can breathe so freely.

It would seem, what is easier: get a signature from Hope Nikolaevna. But! Hope Nikolayevna celebrates the birthday of Anna Egorovna in the office of Olga Evgenievna, which was locked by Natalia Anatolievna, so that no one would interfere with Nadia Nikolayevna and Anna Egorovna, and the key was left by Elena Andreevna, who went to Alevtina Mikhailovna, but did not come, because she met Anastasia Pavlovna, with whom they went to drink tea to Nina Vladimirovna, but Nina Vladimirovna has three other aunts in the office, and because chocolate is not enough for everyone - Nina Vladimirovna, Anastasia Pavlovna and Elena Andreev went to the office of temporarily absent on the birthday of Nadia Nikolaevna.

I am standing and guarding...

Worse than female bodybuilding is only male art gymnastics.

Coincidentally I listened to a conversation between two girls discussing the dignity of their young men:
What about your big?
I don’t know, but how big is it?
Here is my two fingers!
The second thought for a long time and said: - Then my big. Two fingers and a...

Serwak fell, the actions of admin:
1)Admin-choleric - fucking fisted on the server shob that got up
2)Admin-Sangvinik - rushes over everyone who runs away from the fact that the serwak has fallen
3)Admin-flegmatic - is quietly going to fix, although he is cheerful
4)Admin-melancholic - crying and lamenting, dreaming of dismissal from work

In the electric car came a strenuous, dirty, stinking, but young Gypsies. For mercy, it is understandable. A woman sitting next to him stood in his pocket, for a long time. The Gypsy patiently, with her outstretched hand, shakes, and does not depart from us. The woman, finally, pulled out of her pocket a towel and tastefully, looking into the eyes of the Gypsies, shuddered :-) the trollface, probably, should look like this.

Discussion at the forum of the post on the fight against hamstring:
Dr.Provocateur: I know a girl who was once stabbed in a vegetable tent.
During the whole summer, twice a day passing by, she stopped and
informed buyers that the vegetables here are bad, thin and wormy
This is the author, a misguided character, and you, the author,
The average tolerance.
Silver: They told me a story.
Primordial town, toilet on the beach. The sorting itself is free, but a piece of toilet paper can be bought for five rubles from the grandmother sitting at the entrance (I have the feeling that she was going to trade there at all). The pieces she breaks off microscopic, and one aunt of large sizes cautiously asks to wrap out more, because I will not be enough, which receives a rejection and echoing note about the fat ass, which the roll has not struck from the deceased old entrepreneur.
Since then, my aunt has been standing every day with this sort of roll and giving everyone a paper for FREE. Something about a week or two, telling the grandmother that she is at the resort until the end of the summer and she is absolutely not in a position to engage in charity. The grandmother, unable to withstand, stopped trading papers, and after that the aunt disappeared - apparently returned to rest =)

Today there was a quarrel between my sister and my mother. The reason was the removal of my sister’s VK page. After such manipulations, the mother could no longer control the private life of her daughter and in orderly order insisted on restoring the page.

Every time you look through a joke with the signature: "This country is invincible", the phrase is measured: "This is the country of megabytes"...

I dreamed of something stupid.
Tell me, tell me, I have a dream.
XXX: See what it means to squeeze drinks in a condom?

@Weiskleinewolf: The first channel is burning! - At the end of the last block of News, about the panic about the end of the world, the host said goodbye - "I hope, until tomorrow".

A child of uncertain sex with a doll in his hands plays - runs on how much and high the border. The drunk man looked at him long and carefully and said:
If you are a girl, you are a very brave girl. If you are a boy, throw out a doll.

X: Now when drawing up the reference book found the company "Old Rom and Quiet Misha". XD is
Y: Ah, when Roma ceases to be diligent, Misha ceases to be calm.)

Today my son (7 years old) wrote a letter to Santa Claus: "Give Santa Claus." I want you to give me a new year plan. But if you’re telling me I didn’t deserve it, give it to your dad!

The children of the haishnikovs, when playing machines in the sandbox, are always sober, they have a state meter in order, the inspection is not delayed.