bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №70353
 21.09.2012
Stories were invented in order for evil to be punished somewhere.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №70352
 21.09.2012
If anyone does not know, there are big changes in our Minobranki. Evergreen Fursenko left, the new minister appointed fresh orders. One of them had already invented a new form of a certificate and obliged all the rectors, and more than a thousand of them, to urgently fill out this form and submit it. Definitely in printed form, with your signature. Thousands of planes flew into the air, carrying the aforementioned certificate from all over the country to Moscow by express mail. Having received this mail, the deputy minister explained: the signature of the rector must be on each letter of reference.

The directors had to sign and send again. The book is small, 100 pages. But the wise deputy minister ordered that for each branch of the university it should be filled in separately. with the signature of the rector. In one department there were 29...

Analysts of the ministry have already calculated: if this deputy minister honestly reads all the records he has collected, postponing the rest of the affairs, he will surely have enough to retire. But after the next planner became clear - he is breaking new ideas. Trembling, colleagues attached a nickname to the rhetoric of Zammin - Every Leaf.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №70351
 21.09.2012
How much does it cost?
and 50 backs.
Is it so expensive?
How much would you do?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №70350
 21.09.2012
Talk about the past:
What is the "Alcohol General"? :D
Yyy: Here is a separate story
You are ashamed? 😉
YYY: No
YYY: Listen to
Yyy: I found a good job: to sell a car in the car center. Called, there a girl, asked to add their corporate ask. I added, she rejected the authorization, called back, said I didn’t fit them. At first I didn’t know why, and then I realized.
Tagged with: rofl

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №70349
 21.09.2012
Evangelisto: While in America the M16 is just an automatic rifle, in Russia it is a screw.

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70348
 21.09.2012
O tempora, o mores! Previously we said "Let’s go climbing the garages", now it’s parkour. Previously we said "let’s go to the tournaments", now it’s Street Workout...

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70347
 21.09.2012
RT @Shadow__Cat Turn on the TV. I saw how Malysheva swallowed the swelling of the plush testicles. Shut off the TV.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №70346
 21.09.2012
Seminar on Genetics.
- To the test tube with flies attach a leaflet, write on it: "direct intersection" and surname.
Direct crossing of goats?

[ + -3 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70345
 21.09.2012
I am a student of the fifth degree of engineering. I don’t want to write a diploma, I want to lose my virginity with some babysitter >_<

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №70344
 21.09.2012
News on the website:
"Judicial officers attracted to work with debtors of priests"
The first comment:
"Mother of God, go out of the land!"

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №70343
 21.09.2012
Valery
A movie about a stranger.
It is just nonsense of something.

Valery
For "Alien Against Avatar"

Sergey
Aha, and then "Superman vs. Stranger", "Vengers vs. Stranger", "Stranger vs. Batman", "Stranger vs. Godzilla, Alliance vs. King Kong".

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №70342
 20.09.2012
On YouTube, a piece of the film "Vengers".

Chris Evans (Captain America) and Robert Downey Jr. (Iron Man) rehearse their roles:
What do you imagine? So who are you without your iron armor, all these technologies and billions of dollars?
I am Sherlock Holmes, bitch!

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №70341
 20.09.2012
xxx: the neighboring detachment in the pioneering camp was named by the freezers "Holy Inquisition." Hell, untransmitted surr - constantly hearing "the Holy Inquisition, all out!", "the Holy Inquisition, all out of the chambers!" and you say - schizophrenia...

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №70340
 20.09.2012
In the people about slim women they say: slim as a violin.
Gracious as a piano
zzz: Long-legged, like a basebox %)
www: Breasty, as a swing O_o

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №70339
 20.09.2012
Vantooth opened a beer with his phone and left it in a bar.
Lilly> is a...
Vantooth> In a taxi on the way home found the same, but pink.
Vantooth> Wedding tomorrow
Ilya> these are your new technologies...

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №70338
 20.09.2012
after long customs on the topic "how to filter the desired group from a ten thousand customer base";

P is a programmer.

Q: the mouse cried, cried, but the rules request
I: You can’t just take @ and crucify everyone :)
p: sorry... you approach and so do not know "let me screw you out"))
I am :
Shit, what are you allowing yourself? What is it with you?! to
and Madame! This is a roof!
P is a spell 😉
I: worrying about the roof? So push it up, fighter!

[ + 13 - ] Comment quote №70337
 20.09.2012
nic_aaL: iPad changed the word "wish" to "lord". How polite he is! I am a Petersburger :)

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №70336
 20.09.2012
I work in the printing. Among other things, we print business cards for different office managers, so there is the impression that in order to make a career in the office, the first thing you need to have eb@nute FIOs.

[ + 20 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70335
 20.09.2012
[11:56:12]
XXX: A new pearl from the lives of the youths.
Call a blonde, complaining that the program is hanging.
tk. She has a terminal and occasionally there are glues with a grid, I say turn on, turn off the computer and everything will work.
It passes 10 minutes, claiming that she has done everything and she hangs.
I come and say show them what they did, how they overloaded.
The girl with a hand gesture turns off the monitor and turns it on again - THIS NOT works.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №70334
 20.09.2012
"Storage is not a place for storage!", the warehouse manager told me today.

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