bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №117673
 24.08.2015
Philosophers say:
Between the proverb "Eyes are afraid, and hands do" and teenage horrors that masturbation can be blinded, there is definitely a connection.

[ + 24 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №117672
 24.08.2015
Only in Moscow to ride a bicycle on ordinary sidewalks is easier than on specialized bicycle trails, because there are crowds of people walking on them and they are outraged by what fucking you are here. People, in Europe you would have been fooled for this for a long time and didn’t even look around!

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №117671
 23.08.2015
An interesting fact: a cat is the only animal that is allowed to be in a mosque.Muslims believe that cats are the eyes of God on earth. In heaven there will be good or bad people. What can your cat say about you?

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №117670
 23.08.2015
O O O O O O O O O O O
Picture "Three in the Aube": Quip, smiley, 2009

o_o... o_o... o_o
"Three in Ahuah, not counting dogs"

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №117669
 23.08.2015
What is typical - at sixteen there is an Aztec struggle to look twenty-five, and at twenty-four they start to tear the pop in an attempt to look sixteen! Especially, probably, the sellers in tobacco kiosks have fun when the sixteen-year-olds are broken, not that the calves, but the croffies are natural, the fragile girls, who are thirty-two!

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №117668
 23.08.2015
This summer was so cold and rainy that roads in Samara began to be repaired in mid-July.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №117667
 23.08.2015
CAGüentó: Ah, my friend told me in full shame that I once met the most beautiful girl, and they seemed to have a romance turned, and love-carrot. And the girl was sufficiently assured, rarely ate at home, mostly snacking in cafes after work. And here, one summer day, they went to a friend to the country, in order to help my grandfather with the car, and my friend was tired on the beds and under the Zaporozhye, and the lady asked, "Listen, burn me a couple of eggs, right?" I want to eat, I can’t.
In short, the girl says okay, takes a bowl, spills oil there and puts two eggs. In the shell. Includes a plate.
Max then long guessed whether the virgin really did not understand the concept of the ovary, or it was a subtle irony.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №117666
 23.08.2015
xxx: we share a laptop with my wife (not because there is no second, but because mine is always on)
How do you and your wife work on the same notebook? What software are you using? Or just in turn?
xxx: Resource distribution systems “Hands broken – key lost” and “Who first stood up, the computer.” Iron cane on the head hurts, so it is often necessary to code on a netbook.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №117665
 23.08.2015
Europe is divided. Danish people are almost all on bicycles, and for Icelanders this is rare, because of which, when coming to Denmark, they periodically walk on bicycle trails (which from the point of view of the Danes is a terrible ignorance). They even have some local joke that Danish cyclists scorn when they see Irish tourists and deliberately chase them - arising from how often these tourists climb under the wheels.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №117664
 23.08.2015
Look at the price of gasoline and me, again the price of gasoline and again me. Yes to! I am on a horse!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №117663
 23.08.2015
A little information for schoolgirls I see on the street all the time: if at 16 years old you dress like a prostitute, you won’t be like a 20-year-old, you will be like a 16-year-old prostitute. That is so, to note.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №117662
 23.08.2015
The smallest font on the instructions for eye drops.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №117661
 23.08.2015
One of the branches under the news about in-game jewelry on the site Diablo 3:

Sodeta: Do I understand correctly that people who bought the console version of the diablo, which is more expensive than the PC as far as I can remember, are flying with Maltael’s horse at HotS? And to get it, will have to buy a PC version along with the add-on? is not too upset close, the console version therefore does not receive any support, all the chips and updates are late or do not arrive at all, chatters around, and now this also affects the availability of content in other games Blizzard?
NanoFox: You are misunderstood. Consultors are not human beings and must suffer.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №117660
 23.08.2015
Your child is with us.
What are your requirements?
Come here faster. The garden will soon close.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №117659
 23.08.2015
X: Why should weapons owners not be allowed to carry their own ammunition?
Y: People equip, but as a rule, all practical skills come in a dream. So we write that "he saw a dream, as he equipped a caliber gill... open a powder... with a bullet of N-grands, and had such results..." And he is answered that he said, do not believe it - but saw a similar "son", but I had other components and other results... "Some"knowing the system from the inside - dreams are difficult to bring under the COAP or UC...

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №117658
 23.08.2015
The spacecraft is called Gaia.
I listen to the audio book and suddenly comes the phrase "Gay’s Astrophysics... bla-bla..." And I’m doing something at this moment and suddenly wonder... Where are the Astrophysics-Gay? Why is he putting them in a separate group?? to

yyy: Typical "boy in the club glued model" :)

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №117657
 23.08.2015
My mom came back from the market and said:

I bought some big, three pieces. Pretend with the seller whether they get 2 in the backpack or not. I tell her, give two in the backpack and one in the hand, well, or if, on the contrary, one in the hand and two in the backpack... And both minutes hanged for five. We hear that something is wrong here, and what is wrong, we cannot understand...

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №117656
 23.08.2015
I look for a rental apartment, consider different options, look for cheaper, the brain is all the time busy with this topic. At night, I dream of being in the Gordon Freeman costume at Ravenholm. Killed all the zombies in one house, and then the brain strikes the thought: here is she, the apartment! And for free! The rest of the sleep brought order there and pulled all the furniture that she could only find nearby.The final was the wonderfully found cute curtains! Women are like women... Kill a crowd of zombies to seize an apartment and hang curtains!

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №117655
 23.08.2015
I go to the park with my dog. A boy aged 13-15. He threw a pack of chips on the ground and went on. Charlie (the dog) picked up a package and gave it to the young man. He got ashamed, he took the package from the dog’s mouth and went to the nearest rubbish bowl. My dog walked next to him, not lowering his eyes until the boy threw out the pack)

[ + 19 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №117654
 23.08.2015
My gynecologist said I had an abortion. I almost got to Rogan, I couldn’t prove that he was wrong. He is a doctor. I have never had an abortion and have never been pregnant. I haven’t found anything on the forum or on Google about this. It’s really funny, I don’t even know what to think. You can send me here, but maybe someone has encountered this. Interesting is. And anonymously.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna