Surely not one irritates me when someone in public transport speaks loudly, long and thoroughly on the phone.
A typical situation. You go quietly, quietly hanging in the phone, touching no one, and someone calls, and the whole voice begins.

And in the next 10-15 minutes, tons of someone else’s personal life fall on your unhappy head and ears. From the colour of children's cocks and family clashes on the phone to super important business issues that need to be solved right now in the bus and not a minute later.

But today I’ve gotten a little overwhelmed.)

I am in the bus, the people are carpenter, I am standing in the passage, a 50-year-old aunt is sitting next to me. Her phone rings and for the next twenty minutes the aunt talked loudly and in detail with someone about her niece. I learned the age, the name (Oksana), the place of work of the unfortunate, what health problems she has with the "woman" (because of which she couldn't get pregnant for a long time), learned about her grandson's pups and kindergarten. Finally, when it came to me that she needed to urgently give birth to a second child in order to get maternity capital, a friend called me.

I took the telephone and, looking into her face, said loudly to the comrade that I could not talk to him, as I had not yet known when Oksana would be giving birth to the second child, and whether it would be possible to do so because of her gynecological problems.

Seeing the angry and red face of the aunt, as well as hearing the laughter of passengers, is invaluable.

To prepare a magical greenhouse, just take any canned pasta in the "Five". There is in the composition just everything you need - the skin of the cockroach, the nails of the soya, the mouse powder.

An intelligent is a person who, when he comes to you to repair the water supply, does not take off his shoes in the hallway, but puts on the bagels he brought with him.

I am here in the dictionary mode, just liked the story with a friendly cake. His best friend tells me about him:

Girls, I apologize wildly. Anyone who wants can close their ears. Or even go to the garden. I am going to express the inexpressible. The words will be different. Have they all gone out? Then we went! One day, he and I got drunk to the sunsets of the wicked. Just by inexperience. The occasion was painfully already worthy - Volodya handed over the last gentleman! (The translation is the last. The MSU exams. We have shrunk from the soul. Sitting well. I’m afraid of myself, and I’m afraid of the thought – tomorrow is my own exam!

I remember nothing further. I woke up in the morning by the alarm. Looking around, I’m at least in my apartment. I am Uewoo! I am very happy! wow! And time shakes. I suffer painfully, walk around the house, dress up. Dress, tie, clothes and everything else. It seems to have time. But what matter? Bishop, she is breaking up! How do I take the exam with such a shoe? It is empty! Fuck, five years of teaching in the best university of the country! And in this shoulder at the most decisive hour, there is only pain! A terrible pain! And nothing more. Fuck that vodka!

Here is a bell at the door. Who did he bring to hell? I am late! On the way, I attach my pants, jump to the door, furiously open. And on the threshold, this beautiful man is Vova. With a hand in hand. There are two glasses for champagne. There is a cabbage salt on top. Like a cherry blade on a cake, in each floats a cucumbers. Next to him are two small, ugly men. and a package. one one.

I am Owl. He looked at my face and walked benevolently, alone, because I no longer needed it. And you swallow yours all the way. Eating is done, Barry.

And you know, guys... I didn’t even understand how to express my feelings... (here he started to get a little bit overwhelmed, cut off by internal censorship) It was, crazy, as if friendly aliens broke into our miserable planet Earth and gave all the stars to the enemy. Greetings, everyone is happy. At the time, I was unable to think in such categories. I passed this:

Fuck you WOW! You are a-hu-enny! You would know how bad I am!
by Vova Hmuro:
to me too. I didn’t even have time to crawl. I rushed, afraid of not having time. Well we go!

They hit.

And you know, it was my best exam. I usually worried terribly. I could not sleep at midnight. Even sleeping pills did not work. He was tormented at the exam, scared and confused about the simplest. And here I was hit! The absolute memory within me may have awakened. Direct connection to the astral. Whatever my professor asks me, I do not only know the answer, but I remember for a moment when he explained it - where the mole fell, where the mole fell again.

I was thrilled – I became a super-being. But, as an intelligent and virtuous super-being, he held back his aphlomb. I tried to respond humbly and politely.

When he finished, there was just a silence.
My teacher finally took the word. He said thoughtfully:
You know, I always felt like this student was listening to my lectures halfway. There are times when you are glad you are wrong. Over the years, I am increasingly coming to the conclusion that the main thing about our university is not toothed knowledge, although they are necessary. And not even critical thinking skills, although they are also necessary. The main thing is that we are from God knowing what we create a Personality capable of doing miracles. This is the most important thing in our work. Sit down Vladimir Ivanovich. Dear members of the committee, I have no more words. I would like to thank this student with applause.

The good forces left me. Astral completed his mission and turned off. I walked on cotton feet to my place, and my head was empty again. There was only one thought knocking - by the name-father's name I was named for the first time in my life. I restrained, but the tears in my eyes just sprinkled. I went out immediately, not rattling me in the room. Following me, there were fluid applause from the commission.

It was one of the best moments of my life. But no one will make me get to that state anymore. There seems to be a lot of strange things hidden in Astral. But well, his naphygmatism, with such bodies.

Why do you marry such a young woman? You will die, and she will remain.
Better to stay than not enough.

I was late at work, there was no opportunity to eat. Hungry, I go shopping and go home. And here in the nose smells of fresh, divine baking. And I have half a roulette and a crust of bread at home, all the rest to cook. And so thirsty on the soul became, I remembered family evenings, in a distant childhood, when my mother was cooking cakes, as he revolved around her with the desire to squeeze a couple soon. I went home, didn’t have time to dress up, the door knocked. On the doorstep, the neighbor's grandmother Masha with a plate of smoking cakes. I know, he says that you live alone now, not cooking for anyone, here eat. I felt so excited, hugged her, thanked her. I’ll tell you, nothing more delicious than these fresh, fried potatoes have not been eaten in the last 20 years. All attentive neighbors and pleasant surprises.

So it happened that in the entrance of my mother settled one of the most successful entrepreneurs in our area. Well he bought two apartments on the same staircase, well the door steep set. Nothing – everybody was silent.

And then he decided to repair the entire entrance "a little bit".

"Light" suspects underneath itself plastic windows, the entrance door to the entrance for a few thousand euros. The keys were all distributed. Postcards on the latest word of fashion, everywhere cameras. The plate is new. The stucco is new (old, Soviet, was broken down).

And this entrepreneur made one single mistake.

He hanged a sign at the entrance: the repair at the entrance was done at the expense of the IP.

What started here. The first appeal to the court was of a character: what a right this IPeshnik had to change the entrance door! ? to The wood was closer to my heart. Well, and the second door that is in the basement: why it is glass! ? to

The last complaint was to the prosecutor’s office. I read it because a young girl was going through the apartments to collect signatures. 15 pages on both sides. What were they complaining about? To the fact that we lived in the shit, and here some of our entrance made unrecognizable.

I remember coming to my mother for lunch, climbing up to the fifth floor, and on the fresh patch the shit is melting, some blood is melting. It feels like it’s a signature, but it’s a signature. I was ashamed, even though I did not.

My mother has a cage in the basement next to this IP. There are a lot of machines installed there, and I like to master something there. was somewhere there. And suddenly I hear: boom!

That same drunken singer is mounting in his own door of the basement.

I use it, I ask, what are you cuddling?

- Yes, I just asked, he replied, the more people I try to do good, the more they want to me.

And the mounting on the door of his basement is a hook.

I’m not saying I fully understand it, but in part yes. Money is not everything. Our Buddhist society will not accept anyone. No one who is not part of them.

If you are lost in the forest and do not know where the sides of the light are, quickly cut a tree. The annual rings are thinner on the north side.

People, have you ever thought about how many taxes each of us is paying to our country?
I somehow counted.
Growthfully speaking, I came to the grocery store to buy. I have a sin, I eat sometimes. And even (thinking) a few times a day. Sometimes I also drink it. When coffee, and when beer with water.
So, I gave in the box for the purchased, for example, 5000 rubles.
What does it mean?
That food I got in the best case for 2500 rubles - half of the paid. And in the worst - and generally rubles for 500.
Where is the rest? All for him, his homeland.
Why is?
And because the second half is the taxes that are paid on this goods. Manufacturers, processors, carriers, sellers and a bunch of other people. All these costs were eventually included in the price of the goods. Which I bought, refunding them all that I paid.
Who paid all these taxes? 100 Years Without Communism. The “Incorporate Chest” shop? The red network?
No FIGH – I pay for everything in the end.
And how much?
Yes, one VAT - 18% (and soon 20 already). At least 180 rubles. for every thousand.
Plus taxes on profits, land, property, on photography and the hell knows how much more.
That is why I say that at least half of the price of a commodity is not a commodity, but a trail to the state.
Alcohol is even better. The cost of a liter of vodka is 40 rubles. (20 r. for 0.5). The minimum price is 0.5 - about 200 r. 10 times more. Where is the difference? In the budget. 180 r. from each batch.
That is, having arranged a banquet for 1 litre. vodka with a snack of prosthenka - I will give the state 360 rubles for this lunch. for alcohol and another 500 rubles with each spending a thousand for a snack. That is, I eat - I drink less than half of what I spend. for once. and constantly.
This is despite the fact that my salary has already been withheld and income tax (aga, the smallest - only 13%) and contributions to funds (aga, and retirement too - despite the fact that my pension is not on the go).
Everyone pays taxes twice or even three times. For themselves - NDFL, PF and so on. “For that guy” – for all manufacturers-suppliers-sellers. Fuel taxes are not forgotten either.
And the pensioners too. They have everything in chocolate. At first, they disappeared for 40 years at factories and in the fields. How much for this time built - 30 years can not be broken (neither in the flower plant to cut, nor in the winter cherries to rebuild). Then for this they received a pension (few who have more than 15,000 r. per month - that is, 500 r. per day). Of this money, half is paid back in the form of taxes (calculation above) - that is, they spend a maximum of 7 thousand on themselves. And the TADAM!! - They then all kinds of slugs pour their thumbs into their ears on the topic "it is shameful to be a retired at 60 years, you eat the state."
Give it up!

And here two questions arise.

First, why am I paying for this? What does all that codla (pu, me, all kinds of deputies, officials and others) do to me so good for all this money?
In fact, they explain to me for my money that I am alive, only by their mercy. And the pension is not earned by me and given to the PF, but only their mercy. The state is paying - and could not pay - and it is paying, so it does a gracious service.
They didn’t kill me, they didn’t rob me because of them. What, the bottles in the ass even the bandits in the 90s did not steal the enemies? Well, our pursuits are not bandits, we need to understand.
They fight terrorism without laying hands. True, I do not need any terrorist - at my death, he will only spend a bomb (poison, bullet, etc.), but he will not be able to earn anything.
What else do they do? Everything is like. Not in the sense of “everything is done” but in the sense that “the list is finished”.

And then the second question arises immediately - am I not paying for all this? And all of us?
The situation is beginning to develop badly. Almost as 100 years ago.
And so many people have endured - endured, and then... remember what happened. It brought neither happiness nor health.

In the competition for the title "idiot of the year" with a big break won Valer.
He bought for 150 thousand seats in line for the iPhone. I wanted to sell him. No one bought the place.
Valera had no money for the iPhone, so he just went in and went out!

It was a few years ago, I was looking for a manager in the development department, the director of which I was.



Two candidates attended the meeting. One I liked, the other not. Here is this second just somehow completely disliked, the unclear appearance of a silver official, uncertainty, the northern "blowing" accent, lack of profile experience. I did not doubt the choice. Write resolutions on summaries, give it to the secretary, you put it in the frame - contact the candidate you liked and hire him. What a surprise I was when the second one came out!



I lost the gift of speech at first. I moved to watch and realized that the fool himself and confused the resume, in the frames sent with his resolution wrong. But what to do now? The man has already worked, signed all the papers, himself is ready for battle, looks clear in anticipation of the introduction. You can’t say to him, “Sorry, the mistake came out, we didn’t want to hire you.” Shaking my heart, I decided to spend some time on training a person and see what will happen. And you know what? We worked with him for almost 4 years and he was the best manager in the entire team! He turned out to be so cool that I still regret he had to move to another city and I couldn’t work with him any longer. What am I for now?



It is banal that in our lives a lot is made up of coincidences and mistakes that grow into victories. Give people a chance!

To success in the sport, you need to pass nine WADA rounds.

We have a client, one of the key ones. It takes large volumes, but loves to confuse. Here and today, sent an urgent application for a different tool. The goods are not ours at all, but you will not give up, and the times are now that you get everything.
Accepted, I say, we will work, and he - let me, say, sooner, you will have time to issue a bill - pay.
It’s easy to say, until evening. This is a whole list of all kinds of scratches, scratches, scratches, cutters and the like. We begin to process the order, call the factories - they raise us a lot of questions. Steel, brand, section, etc. And a lot of different nuances, and similar options are full, and it costs a lot of money.
We call the customer to let their suppliers consult, and they themselves know nothing, the master, did the request.
We call the masters, they also scratch the tail, doubt, then consult and say:
Better call Seraphim.
We sit down and pick up a seraphim. The worker has no cell. After lunch, a whispering old voice responds:
The apparatus...
Around this dialogue:
- Vladimir Serafimovich, we have a question about cutting, your masters said this brand...
Which one? What? → Master, the mind is half-cold... Yes, they have such cuts a detail in a month will go under the cone!
Under the cone...
Eggs and how? Material science needs to know, wear out of the tool by type... And then the spindle will be sins, that there is no association with the back of the grandmother... right?
Oh yeah... well, yeah...
“Tokari bakery... write a mark... all that?
Another question on the head...
and etc. On the list...

I have now set the bill and I sit, I think it’s still good that such Seraphimichi are left with us. They will die and a lot will go under the cone.

This world is very strange. If the power finds oil in your backyard, it is state, and if the drugs are yours.

A friend works in the IT-division at one of the largest pharmaceutical companies in our city. They bought some new equipment from the Chinese. A group of Chinese engineers came from the supplier to start everything, train staff, and so on.



In parallel with the Chinese, contractors from the operator are working to organize a separate access point for the equipment, because they are planned to be controlled via Wi-Fi. And actually, in fact. Chief engineer Ivanich explains to the communicator where and how to pull the cable. A Chinese man is passing by. The main one: “Sanya, you coordinate all your actions with him, this is the chief Chinese, Huang Sun.” Go ahead and see another Chinese. Ivanych sharply brakes, staring into the face of the Chinese, says, "Or here with him."

Where the wise one doubts, the fool becomes a ballot.

There is a problem in the modern world that some children begin to talk late and to help them have to look for logopedists. The best specialists with young children work in the form of a game, so that children are happy to perform tasks and are happy to form the necessary skills.
There are truth and dissatisfaction. One mom asked, “When will you work with the baby?” You are all playing.”
We have a very strong idea that learning is associated with suffering, it is necessary to force and hold the belt close.

Digital technology has captured our city.
Now in the tram I can pay with a contactless card.
It is only a shame that the tram of 1958 is released.

I went to a familiar admin at work. We sit down, we talk about general topics, here comes the chord. Director of one of the offices. He holds a webcam in his hands. From career to career:



"Listen, my web camera here in my house burned, and something I looked at - it's new more than a thousand worth. Can you replace it for me with one of the factory, and then write it down as being out of order?



P.S. After the guy's departure, the administrator, looking at my faint face, said that "such subjects are in order. Tonight I will tell him that such models are not used, it will not be possible to write off. “Do not send him off the threshold.”

I come home from work tonight. I hear my wife talking to someone on the phone. Judging by the conversation, someone from long lost relatives.

I’m two years younger, a year and a half younger.

As long as we live there, the house is not finished yet.

And you have who?

Well, and the other shake of relatives who have not been seen for a long time... I shake up, scratch the younger (the elderly torments the homework). The wife sneezes and shows gestures of something like: "Now I'll cut off dinner." Meanwhile, the conversation smoothly changes the subject:

No, until I work, in the decree, only the husband earns.

A third of his salary goes to mortgage.

Not until it works...

Here the conversation smoothly goes down and ends. I am interested:

And who is it?

- Two-born sister, you don't know her, my uncle's daughter from the first marriage. We barely communicate, we met 10 years ago, and it was by chance. A couple of times crossed in the Odnoklassniki, the last time three years ago, but she did not want to communicate.

What do they need?

– 100,000 for three months, but I understand that without a return...

So if you were called long lost relatives - it is not just so...