bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №19254
 15.08.2009
The xxx:
It was my most stupid dispute...I almost lost it. I had to go to the seller in the animal store and ask what to feed a sea pig. Or that she is not eating anything. And in general, she swims meedly in the aquarium... with a bullet up...how can’t she get into the water?She is a sea pig.
The xxx:
I was caught so rugged that the guy of the seller came to me that I was joking.
YYYY :
*ROFL* *ROFL* fucking need to take the idea to note
The xxx:
he said later that he didn’t know what he had to do – cry at me or cry because of the pigs)))

[ + 96 - ] Comment quote №19253
 15.08.2009
X: How do you feel about the skaters? and ;)
Y: the norm
X: A to the Goths?
Y: thus
X: A to EMO?
Y: I treat everyone well!! to
X: Even to the rapers?
Y: Even to these fucking...

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №19252
 15.08.2009
Grey buddies are formed in the exact middle between the dark past and the bright future.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №19251
 15.08.2009
The story is real and I am a part of it. I am a lawyer, if I can say so. The investigator called my defendant to get acquainted with the case materials. The client is a minor from a distant village, the case took place in the city. A client came to the city and called. He said he was in the central market. I said I would go and go to the investigator. has arrived. There is no customer in the agreed place. I call. And I, he says, was picked up by the police when I drank beer. Okay, tell the uncles of the police that now your lawyer will come and understand the situation. He doesn’t turn off his cell phone and tells someone about it. I hear a roar in the phone. Three minutes later, I appeared in the police pitch and repented the police officers of my certificate. You would see their faces. The client is dressed in a sporting suit and looks like that. Oh well okay. began to understand. The police said that there will not be a protocol here and must go to the department. Well we went. Arrived at the department. The boy was taken to a minor affairs unit. I went there too.
The boss came. He asked me who I was. showed a certificate.
The boss stunned and asked my client where he found the lawyer.
The boy’s response shocked everyone in the office. “There are times when everyone should have a lawyer.” Rod was crying.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №19250
 15.08.2009
On Wednesday, Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin visited a new maternity in Abkhazia, where twins were born a few minutes before Putin's arrival. They called them, of course, Volode and Dima. Even though they were girls.

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №19249
 15.08.2009
The call. I pick up the phone, calls a girl from the company "BIT"
I: I listen to you.
Hello, my name is Natalia, I am BITA.
I: O_o

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №19248
 15.08.2009
WWW- I recalled here about the celebration of justice... I go like a gardening in the summer, in front of the Mayakov Square, so here - a lady on a cute white merce-cabaret, all cut, all the bikes... generally irritated the public:) In the end, she is poured into the left row and we synchronously enter the tunnel, and there as you know a little peripherally:)) In front of this cabriolet woman stands a big KAMAZINA..... and begins in this gently cream salon to blow out her exhaust poison of black color, the lady pumps her eyes, pulls her hands... but the blockade and leave nowhere:)) And all offended by this sweetheart, including me... locked up in the salons with a condiment:)) And quietly racked her at the address

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №19247
 15.08.2009
The judges can’t argue at the trial, but they can say, “Well, the plaintiff!”“What kind of complainant...”

[ + 73 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №19246
 15.08.2009
Not invented, everything described has been seen with your own eyes.
I went to the internet to pay for the phone one day. The city is a hole, hole. And there is lunch, but without the internet as without hands, I stand at the entrance, smoke, 15 minutes until the end of lunch. At ten meters from me, a red mark stops. I have to admit that I cannot distinguish foreign brands in the profile, generally in cars I do not know very well, except for domestic jigguls. The driver of a foreign brand such a big cock in a business suit (First). And then from behind him in the ass slightly crashes a driver, the driver of which is also quite a man (Two). The first looked in the rear-view mirror, breathed so dramatically and began to slowly stretch the seat belt, as if such a hernia in the day was not the first time. At this time, the second is jumping out of the ninth. Well, I think, now from a low start in the bushes, and there in the gardens. Anne is not. While the first stretched the execution over the second, the second escaped the foreigner in front. I was surprised, and the first driver, who was engaged in the stretching of the belt, was also not surprised and only the head of the second carried and managed. And the one from all the scale, and so strongly that the hit of the nine from the back was just a child, the foot on the buffer of the foreign mark hit so that in the cabin the safety pillow worked, as a result of the first can not get out. The second at this time sharply at nine, unfolds and sneezes. I was so surprised that I couldn't even roast, only the cigarette shot and the fingers burned.))))
The curtain.It is :)


[ + 52 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №19245
 15.08.2009
He: I want to embrace you, kiss you, press you tightly and never let go.

She: I want to... always think of you... I want to always be next to you.

He: Oh not there

She is: O_O

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №19244
 15.08.2009
Amdi
One day, a very nice biker called me to a restaurant, and I said I had a boyfriend.

Stray
A girl here recently left her phone alone, I also told her that I have a girlfriend.

Stray
You and I are two short.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №19243
 14.08.2009
The fun farmer.
17:42 NikitaSergeich Khrushchev came to your farm and stole 2 corn.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №19242
 14.08.2009
when a set in the search line google phrases "pigs can't fly" he kindly suggested "Russian airlines"

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №19241
 14.08.2009
Alex (01:03:17 12/08/2009)
I’m epically tired of this pale carnival.

Marina (01:03:59 12/08/2009)
Our whole life is a carnival.

Alex (01:04:12 12/08/2009)
I am talking about a shopping center.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №19240
 14.08.2009
YYY: Well tell me the rate of the dollar is not today?
YYY: Oh, not to you
Is that how you do Google searches?

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №19239
 14.08.2009
The more suicides, the fewer they are.


[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №19238
 14.08.2009
Today is the day of the angel!
Brad: So is it? Is the church against?

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №19237
 14.08.2009
A friend, in the summer after the successful completion of the 11th class (without a trio), already after entering a good university for a free branch, earned himself a summer vacation, stumbling on the construction of some building. And one day, when there was a heavy rain, he dropped a hole under the garbage, naturally all dirty, wet, by the belt in the water. A mother and a little child pass by, and the mother, pointing to my friend, says to the son: "Look, son, you will be studying badly, you will have to work like an uncle!"

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №19236
 14.08.2009
by 111
so that you can help with the network settings, I can't configure so that the rest of the computers can come out through me and also the question which password I can't enter the network in the computer

by 222
I am here caroche like I was in school now I don't understand the habit when the signs of interruption put nihua incomprehensible

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №19235
 14.08.2009
April 17, 1945 – Leading Soviet pilot-as Ivan Kozhedub over Berlin was attacked by American P-51 fighters and shot down two aircraft. As the commander of his air division Savitsky said: "These victories are at the expense of future war."

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