bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №142654
 01.07.2017
My sweet and affectionate fighter against corruption.Fighting is just and you need to start from the top, so that the bottom do not want to do so.And then if a librarian is planted for 60 years of age, then everyone is only smashed, and if a minister, like in China, is spit with a pencil and his family will pay for ammunition - this is another matter.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №142653
 01.07.2017
There is not much "Fatherland". Clothes and accessories. As a slogan "Made in Russia. Made with love" He came in, he stumbled. Love is probably to survive.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №142652
 01.07.2017
xxx: Guys, who knows any killing Japanese heavy metal? Throw pls

yyy: Disprosius, iterbius and Samaritan. It is mined by japs from the bottom of the Pacific Ocean. I can’t throw away – strategic raw materials, expensive.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №142651
 01.07.2017
These are news:

A citizen has been detained for installing a hidden camera in a female shower. As evidence, a shot from a hidden camera installed by a pool worker is provided.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №142650
 01.07.2017
"To say that lazyly chewing eucalyptus mimic panda, in general, is also a predator"

It means crossing the continents, trees with bamboo and bags with placenta.
Should we continue after that?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №142649
 01.07.2017
I read news. The title hit.
At least 100 people have died in Pakistan as a result of a fuel tank burning.
I couldn’t understand how this could happen until I discovered the news:
The incident occurred on the road in Punjab province. People gathered around the overturned gasoline truck to collect the spilled oil, according to some reports, some of them smoked cigarettes, which caused the fire.

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №142648
 01.07.2017
(from the discussion of the film)

Behind colors and sounds is simply impossible to trace, and violence is present in excess - all this to show the viewer the madness of our time. Obviously, not everyone will find the strength to withstand this race until the end."

xxx: Here is this vague "not everyone will find in themselves the strength to withstand this race to the end" - obviously euphemism; to write "fucking invisible nonsense" is somehow not good.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №142647
 01.07.2017
11: when my mom's girlfriend's daughter and her husband were staying in our country, he ate all the rye from the pond, washed it from the water meter (I did not suspect it), cut off the grass and dug the roots from the strawberries.
Chapter 22: Why Is It All That? Did you starve them?
11: They were vegetarians :) By the way, I cooked strawberries from their serving. If you put a lot of lemons there, then it is possible. The color is beautiful. But the trick is that the flowers need to be wet before cooking. They swim and don’t drown. After a while, I took them with both hands and immersed them in the pelvis. And here it turns out, in these flowers so much of everything lives.. and how it broke the rescue on my hands running on my head.. I chested a few days later :))

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №142646
 01.07.2017
I will tell you that the tropical rainfall, about moving to Moscow, we are experiencing here in Berlin yesterday and today. And nothing!

Some metro stations are closed. Within is water on the knee. Well, yes, you’re on a low-ground bus, and you have to raise your legs when the wave goes straight down the bus (the door gap is below the water level on the street).

But it's not all scary, the main thing is to stock up with rainflakes and turn away from the trees on the street)

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №142645
 01.07.2017
> I see, girls are more dangerous to give birth!

Other than jokes! My conversation with my parents looked like this:
“Maam, why don’t you let me go, Sanka has been released!
You are a boy and you are a girl!
“Why did Olya let go, she’s also a girl!
She has a sister!

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №142644
 01.07.2017
Trump said he was willing to sell millions of tons of coal to Ukraine... That’s what I understand, President-Commercial. Antarctic Penguins are nervously in line for snow.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №142643
 01.07.2017
It was tight and noisy in the military. I sat in line for a psychiatric examination. My predecessor came out of the office laughing. Pressing from the hook, he named my name. I walked and went in.
The psychiatrist was cool and quiet. At the table sat an elderly bald man with a tired and sad face.
Hi to you. I greeted him.
Hi and hello. He greeted me in response. Without wasting time, I asked. Are you drowning?
and no.
Are the thoughts strange? The vision?
and no.
Then all good. thank you.
I was confused.
And all that? I say. Is that all the examination?
Do you want to tell me something? The psychiatrist asked with great sadness.
Well, what if, suppose, purely hypothetically, I had a suicide attempt? I asked, showing hands covered with impressive fresh scratches. I got them when I hatched two days earlier. It was necessary to pull large, heavy wooden boxes with very sharp angles.
In this case, we will send you for an examination. And if it confirms suicidal tendencies, then I fear you will not be able to serve in the army.
“What a pity,” I said, trying not to smile.
Yes, you can’t learn. and work. and to marry. Twice a year you will have to go to the clinic. Taking powerful medications. Purely hypothetical.
I just asked. of curiosity.
Curiosity is good. Curiosity is a sign of a healthy young brain. Are there other questions?
and no.
Then all good. thank you.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №142642
 01.07.2017
The residents of the Moscow region have a tradition. Every year they call on the Direct Line with V.V. Putin and ask to move the garbage to the neighboring city.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №142641
 01.07.2017
Not the fact that talking about the list will help. Seven years ago, my grandmother had nothing to say about the anime, about the fantasy, about the magic with the vampires, my grandmother often did not understand such words at all, and she had no need to enter, but still insisted on the details of my life and interests.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №142640
 01.07.2017
yyy: * photo of the mother's plate washed under the crane with a washer*
XX: Normal practice, I did it myself. The fluid must then be dried.
xxx: there are not everywhere ultrasound baths :-( especially in the mail
xxx: at first in the alcohol was soaked, but when the boss from the heart attack seen, this practice was rejected

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №142639
 01.07.2017
> and what would we have to play this game (think!) Wait half an hour.

How jealous in childhood are those 2-3 minutes of hell’s impatience perceived.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №142638
 01.07.2017
The subscriber is not responsible for himself, leave the will after the sound signal

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №142637
 30.06.2017
Always admired the informativity of the Javov exepshns.
You get into it by a programmer and you say, “Wooot, you see how everything is broken!”

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №142636
 30.06.2017
of St Petersburg. The amusement park. A small cottage enclosed with a low fence. Worth a big figure, or a dwarf, or someone else. A few meters behind it is another one, and if you want to take a photo with it you need to cross the fence.
In general, the man approaches the distant pus, his wife photographs him. A staff member of the park passes by and makes a remark to them not to tap the lawn, say, the fence here is not just so. The wife begins to argue with her in the spirit of "And in normal countries everything for people do!", which the employee of the park quietly parises: "And our country is abnormal". And he leaves.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №142635
 30.06.2017
This is a story specifically for non-defeaters.
A couple of years ago my friend was pregnant, and here some month on the eighth we went with her in the bus from consultation, and she got sick: nausea, weakness, in the eyes darkened... In the morning I felt good, and in general, even when I got into the bus it was normal, or a taxi called. And then it worsened sharply - the breath, the catch, the smell of exhausts, maybe the pressure changed. In the full room, the next three seats in a row were occupied by the company of men. She, with a green face, polently asked to give up a place, the guys answered so, say, and what, we are not obliged, she jumped on the fox and now blushed, tolerated, ovulated, gyggy. It was here that she was pulled out of the fountain, on all three practically, and almost lost consciousness - I picked up, and the grandmother next to her sat in her place.
Morality: Sometimes giving up a place is not only beneficial to those who give up.

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