bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №107074
 20.12.2014
The least crisis is felt in palaces and galleries.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №107073
 20.12.2014
As you know, in Germany, the problem with local doctors - everyone who can from the local, make their feet to the United States.
Therefore, it turned out that the Russian Concebober, who emigrated in the late 90s on the Jewish line, was able to confirm his psychiatric diploma, which, you will agree, in a foreign newly learned language is similar to a feat. Now he is already a respected man with his practice, and began after confirmation of a diploma in an underground psychiatrist ordinary doctor. There were, as a rule, different schizophrenic grandparents, who were overwhelmed with marasma and were not even suitable for a local nursing home. This is the room of such entertainers he led. And the German grandfathers “over 70” in the late 90s are just the worst-eaten youths of the Wehrmacht of the first half of the 40s. And here’s exactly what came out of Concebuber that distinguishes the Russian (although he emigrated on the Jewish line) from the Russian – the willingness to break the rules and not the fear of consequences (short Russian names for these complex terms are known to you). In a struggle for discipline in the chamber, he announced that they were all “in a Russian guerrilla hospital for prisoners of war and waiting for a transfer to Germany.” And he was so convinced that the discipline in the chamber was iron, because "only with good behavior and exemplary treatment will you be taken to the shelter." And it all lasted not a day, not a week, not even a month. Until there was one grandfather who, by chance, went by. The department did not ask about the timing of the arrival of the oasis. Then there was a conversation in the office. the department. “You fool, what are you doing? I am a Polish. “Would you be in my place?” asked the German. the department. In Germany, there is a problem with local doctors.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №107072
 20.12.2014
Dmitry Kiselyov live broadcast:
“The price of the dollar is constantly changing. The dollar is the most volatile currency in the world.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №107071
 20.12.2014
Listened in the bus: "Let go, our cleaner in full seriousness has been recorded as a tester of cable connections of the local network"

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №107070
 20.12.2014
As far as you know, the developers of Google have made an interesting fit - to start a search it is enough to say the phrase "O'key, Google" and formulate the query.

The Russians do not beat - today tested voice search, calling to the phone "O'ke, Gogol" and "O'ke, grandmother".
It works!
=) is

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №107069
 20.12.2014
Tchaikovsky's book "Love for three oranges"

When did Prokofiev become Tchaikovsky?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №107068
 20.12.2014
to this:
I went into the safe and found 600 euros. This is the New Year feeling ?

** by
He decided to clean up... Go your ass with this "accidental"

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №107067
 20.12.2014
XXX is:
rjunew
The client has arrived, the limitation is called OOO Shrennali
We drank cognac with a friend and thought about how to name the office.
My friend says
Isn’t it a fucking name for us?
and called
A man with original

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №107066
 20.12.2014
I went into the kitchen yesterday. There is a drunken dad who, as usual, pulls to talk. The further dialogue:
Q: Do you know what to do if a woman swells?
I: What is it, Dad?
Q: Well, this morning I was telling Alain (my 11-year-old tribe) what to do if a woman was flooded.
I: (I turn carefully to daddy) Dad, what are you talking about?
Q: (pointing to the dishwasher) in general, if this woman of you has flooded, you need to block the water in the toilet.

This is how I learned that my father called the laundry laundry a woman.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №107065
 20.12.2014
from ZH
I mourn the employees of the neighboring office: You have to be born with such handicaps! What one, what another!
N: By the way, O. wraps the hats. Good and careful hats. I saw.
I: It is great! A. in the office plants flowers. I was barely distracted when he started talking about them. I love the flowers.
Q: He also breeds the bird. Once I brought a cage with a puppy. I come and he talks to them. They are with him too.
I: All in all, we have: one hoodie breeder and one poppy breeder. So why are these cute and talented people, instead of sitting at home and binding their paparazzi hats, working as securities specialists?! to

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №107064
 20.12.2014
"In Moscow condemned ten false extrasensors".. I did not understand, and not" lies" extrasensors in general?

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №107063
 20.12.2014
nceBgo_6a6ka
- the asymptom of the asymptom, go to Herodotus, from Herodotus to Curie, well, and further in x... go!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №107062
 20.12.2014
This is:
chuma: you know, any system administrator slightly turns red if you ask about the compression he has at home - "where bought it?"
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
I will not red. Because I honestly bought my personal and home clothing in the store.
And, in the meantime, even if the spheres were from work - it't be red ?))

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №107061
 20.12.2014
X: I’m afraid of girls, until the hands shake, how can I become more courageous?
Why do you have girls, satisfy yourself with shaking hands

[ + 16 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №107060
 20.12.2014
It is better to endure a year but become a more independent state than to continue to depend on the U.S. in the economy.
------------
Brother, remember for yourself what you wrote on December 19, 2014. Subscribe to us in a year. Let’s see how we get better dressed, the vegetables are all there.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №107059
 20.12.2014
Based on an old joke:

Oil is cheaper, the ruble is falling, there is not enough money in the budget for next year.
Does this mean that Sechin, Yakunin and others will steal less?
No, that means you and I will eat less.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №107058
 20.12.2014
Roks: Here I read the news "In Moscow condemned ten false extremists"
Do we have an article forbidding magic, or did the investigators find that their magic was not real?
Ludmila: It is obvious that the fraudsters were arrested: they could not even foresee or prevent their own arrest.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №107057
 20.12.2014
xxx: Customers say, very bad instructions, incomprehensible
thx: "Here - written " Press the Enter key". And that it should be released afterwards is not said anywhere".

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №107056
 19.12.2014
knowledge of winter clothes. The shoes are different. There are practical, durable and very warm sweaters made of mutoon, karakul or nutria. There are beautiful, expensive, but not very shouldery - nurses, sables, mountaineers. There are fashionable - shoes with sleeves to the elbow, silk inserts to the pup, cut and shaved, without buttons flying, etc. In these, a clear pen, not what to stand at the stop - just run 500 m cold, they are only invented for force, on the evening dress to put on, and invented by designers, no idea about the Russian winter. The most funny thing - normal shoes cost 4-5 times cheaper than fashionable shoes.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №107055
 19.12.2014
Remember, there was a joke: “I dreamed of being a compatriot with Depardieu for a long time.” The universe, I did not want that. “Moscow is a very expensive city. I want you to be able to normally eat for 3 euros in Moscow.”

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