With a friend:
Have you bought me beer?
I asked you to buy or not, you answered no.
If a woman says no, it means yes.
I: Are you a woman?? to
My friend (with a serious and surprised face): No!

told a colleague.
I went to the dentist to do my teeth. The dentist began to explain that the bite I wanted was not right and should be done the right way. And I took the da and asked to show her her own bite, which she echoingly asked, "What if I was a gynecologist?"

Get ready to go to Pandaria: 7 days of games as a gift!

No, please be close to me! I just found a good job!! to

XXX is urgent. Urgently! Urgently! Give the cat!
YYY: I too
Zzzz: Give each other

Mother too recently told how she lost this summer.There, indeed, it is not scary.She went, therefore, into the woods, walked, walked, dropped, finally, from the berries, and realized that she was lost.Then she ran, like a hot dog, for several hours, tried to follow her footsteps, finally failed.She sat down on the fountain, sat down and repeated "Nicolas, help, Nicholas, help."And here comes out to her a man.An ordinary man, with a basket, in boots.She said to him: "You are Nicholas, a good man?".

Sasha, take the milk
Versus: thank you
Lidia: thank you yes? Thanks no? Please go with your milk.

"The straw with alcohol is like your Mohito?!?!" :D

News: Video recording of the registrar of the DPS machine, where the protocol was issued for the imam Timothy, "Destroyed by a virus"

The pizzas, comrades!

What are you dreaming about? :)
He: As a child, I dreamed of my room so that I could shut myself off from my brothers and play quietly... Now I am 30, I have a 3 bedroom apartment, 3 children, wife and nephews....! to

The morning. The chief (director of a small firm) enters the office with the words:
Everyone has to lose weight urgently! 10 kilograms, no less
I (reassuringly): Did anyone tell you anything about your weight?
No, they are all kindly silent, shit! I guessed in my eyes!

I had a case in the hospital. I came to the doctor with a ticket at 15:30 (her working day until 16:00 was). She let the last passenger go. I go to her, and she tells me wait a little. I sit and wait. After 20 minutes, this body comes out already dressed in a jacket and begins to close the cabinet. I’m in a shock and she gives me out:"I don’t know anything, my working day is over" and it’s coming down!!! to

Everyone around me says I’m not coughing well. I think I do well.

XXX: From next spring we buy on the bike. You’re a chaper, I’m a sportsman and I’m chased.
YYY: Oh, I won’t even have time to see you break up.

Trouble in the bank.
When a security officer calls the debtor, he does not take the phone. Call the officer.
You are the guardian of such a thing. This goat does not pay, so according to the contract you will have to pay.
The master jokes, and let’s sell the kidney to him. The lawyer said on the phone, let's sell the point. He thinks that he was an individual entrepreneur, and he took the loan like an ordinary individual. He begins to find out the details:
Does he have a point?
Of course there are two!! to
The lawyer again thinks he has a point of sale, even two, and he doesn’t pay a shit. He asks the guardian again:
Is he an individual entrepreneur?
The guardian thought:
What does it need to be IP?
The lawyer in full seriousness answers that in order to sell the point, he must be a legal entity, etc., say everything is legally defined by the fact of the sale, etc. The lord slowly whispers, and in horror asks, do you really sell the kidneys? Shortly before they figured out, the guarantor there almost did not put on his pants, had time with a large balm of his left leg to enter the borrower's number on his wife's phone, and hint to him that he should urgently quench the loan, or he would not live. Half an hour later, the debt was paid.
A week ago in theaters was a movie - the thieves.

14:42:21 Julien : and remember the Nokia 3310, this brick)
14:42:37 Surah : it cannot be carried in the pocket with the keys, the keys are scratched))

Review of the Philips Xenium 513:
This phone has one "minor" disadvantage: the interlocutor is heard as if he put a pot on his head, then climbed into the pipe, and with the pipe jumped into the toilet and closed the lid. The rest is fine.

Bankin (22:37:34 11/09/2012)
Kerry’s legs broken.

Bankin (22:37:38 11/09/2012)
Stopped

I was loooh, fucking, I went into the shower, there was no one at home and the idea was not to be until 3 p.m.
I went singing like this in the whole voice am sexy end am nou it
and
If you are dumb, it is forever.
I go out like this continuing to sing, I go to the refrigerator like this: "Let me eat, the naked slave" I go to the kitchen, and there mother here with such eyes O_O

Ahahahah

by Habr
Every crack is not only the activation of pirate software, but also the divine track in 8bit.

YouTube video interview with a girl in a drug club, comments:

xxx: - brains as much as I have in the 3rd class.. probably loves when it is allowed around
Yyy: - So that means you loved in the 3rd class)