bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №102394
 01.09.2014
Christina: I greet you all. Tell us how to collect wine from the sources. I want to fix something in the code.
Droid: Just as well as without corrections. In the manual to the originals is written. What doesn’t please you in Vienna? For the first time I see a girl trying to control the sources of wine.
I’m not a girl and I’m called Roman. The account was obtained during the divorce from his wife, and she has an apartment and a car.
Droid: Then it is clear. No more questions.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №102393
 01.09.2014
My father told me about a student’s youth.
Then he was suddenly sent to perform for the university at inter-university competitions in athletics. This happened unexpectedly even for him, just somehow managed to jump over a 1.5 m high plank on the phys-re.
Without much hope, he came to the stadium. Athletes from other universities began to fade from 1.7 m. Then he understood that you just need to drop the plank 3 times (3 attempts), get food tickets for participation and go home.
It orders a plank of 1.7 meters high, it jumps, it hits. With a pretended bitterness, he breathes, enters the second attempt, the same height. He jumped and landed. He sees the plank in place.
She realizes that she just didn’t jump to her by walking right underneath her.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №102392
 01.09.2014
See also: Colleagues
The vacancies:
What is SI DIEZ?
The developer?

What kind of diets are you? This is to the diets!

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №102391
 01.09.2014
And who prevents men from marrying girls who are willing to contribute to the family budget?
yyy: I think that’s what these same girls are bothering with with the words "I need you?and "

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №102390
 01.09.2014
Steve Jobs only drove Mercedes-Benz SL 55 AMG cars, with no number marks. The fact is that according to California laws, the installation of numbers is given a full six months. Jobs signed a contract with one car show, according to which every six months he took a new SL 55, and the old returned. The advantage of the car show was that the car that was run by Jobs could be sold more expensive than a new one.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №102389
 01.09.2014
The top of the naivety of a small boss to ask not his subordinate.
Why didn’t you do that or that?
Because I am not paid for it.

Surprised by the answer

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №102388
 01.09.2014
4 of PDA. Topic "Students suffer from smartphone addiction".
SpearMint: I have been sitting in school with my phone for 7 years and no dependence. The rumor

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №102387
 01.09.2014
It was on Builder’s Day. On the sandy carrier, where the new road was removed, a barrel of Czech beer was brought unexpectedly in honor of the holiday. In the 1990s, Zhygulevsky beer was a rarity, and here it was immediately Czech! Vodka at the time was still a fairly deficient commodity, sold on coupons, so, of course, there was a lot of it. And the brigade, having consulted, decided not to interfere with the products, but to extend the pleasure for the next day. Beer in the morning, beer in the evening. The Czech! And where will you hide it in your career so that lazy people do not find the smell? The excavator dug a hole, thrown a bowl there, filled with sand, and, for reliability, crushed the excavator with a bowl from the top. And hidden safely, and the beer from the ground in the morning will be cold. In the morning, the brigade in anticipation pulled out of the temporary town to the career. The excavator was not on the spot, he warned someone that he would leave for business at an hour or two. But can this stop the suffering men? They took the spade and began to dig right under the coffin. When the excavator approached an hour later, his eyes became like anniversary rubles. Under the hanging in the air of the excavator, a pit was excavated, in which a small house could be safely hidden. He even lost the gift of speech for a while: “Men, what are you? and. and. I specially turned the basket to the other side from the morning before leaving, so that you could get the barrels right away.”

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №102386
 01.09.2014
My answer: In Europe, especially in its well-known cleanliness and inadequate decency on the street - Germany (Austria, Switzerland) there are no toilets.

= = = is = is = is = is = is = is = is = is
Have you been there at least once or have you seen it on TV?
Böblingen is a small town in southwestern Germany. The city park. In the corner - completely free cabins with pissuars. They look like cell phones, if it doesn't smell - and you can't guess.
Stuttgart, the capital of the region. One of the city parks. Seven in the morning, almost no soul in the park. But the toilets in the park are open, shining clean.
These are not tourist cities.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №102385
 01.09.2014
What did he die of?
Lack of HP in the body.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №102384
 01.09.2014
Rikuda Sennin: I’ve been angry lately... I go home in the subway, I don’t touch anyone, I read Tolstoy. Here is a voice from the loudspeakers: "Sviblovo Station", and the inner buzz in me reads: "CHUIBLOVO! Do you care?" Is it a cure?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №102383
 01.09.2014
About children and libraries... And foolishly bringing offspring there is not fate? Public libraries still exist in almost every city, and in schools - especially.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №102382
 01.09.2014
I have two close friends. They saw each other three times per hour, no more. Each saw my boyfriend from once to two and a half. My father saw both a girlfriend and a boyfriend about the same frequency. I saw the boys of my friends and other friends of my friends with the same frequency. And it lasts for years...

--------

Damn, I was looking forward to the condition of a mathematical problem to be solved.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №102381
 01.09.2014
The case occurred on Sunday evening. I take the bus home and go to work tomorrow. Half of the bus are young people, there is a couple sitting talking where they will go now, here someone on the phone with someone calling asks which club to go. And I’m standing and thinking – tomorrow is Monday, and they’re looking at night going somewhere, how will they get up tomorrow? And when I already came home, I came to know that today is July 27 and the students are on vacation, and I am at work (((

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №102380
 01.09.2014
Drivers will understand:
The first September. A bunch of Kamikaze schoolchildren are running out on the road with their wreaths.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №102379
 01.09.2014
1 to Hello. Go to the football club and play.
2 and greetings. Just woke up. I ask my wife...
2 and 2 (
Chapter 2: I am a...
1: no... you’re dirty... and you woke up judging by everything from the fact that you’re washing the floor))))
2: No... but... I’m going to wash it right now (((

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №102378
 01.09.2014
Comments on the series. Talk to one of the heroes:

Is it really beautiful? ? Don’t think I’m not gay ?

WOW: We didn’t even think you were gay.

[ + 34 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №102377
 01.09.2014
Based on personal experience:
===
here here :

However, as practice shows, the only way not to suck in the entrances with our mentality is the death penalty.

Rush out, my sweetheart, ro-o-zgi! If an adult fool will know what foolishness and stupidity his, an adult fool, will just be cut out publicly - he will start to watch for himself. No one gets hunted.
_________________________

Or maybe still with the construction of normal street toilets to start in step-by-step accessibility, and then everything else. Or are you so impatient?
===
Toilets in combination with roofs. and ah.
In the entrance, periodically some gangdo arranged a branch of the toilet until I was caught with a shelf. I turned out to be a resident of the same entrance, a father of two children (and often drunk, I will not lie. But the sober is usually in the entrances and does not sink). This is one of those cases when even having a toilet nearby doesn’t help. But roughness in this case would be very useful.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №102376
 01.09.2014
I quarreled with my wife yesterday.
I take the metro 10 stations.
On me – a dress, shoes, shirt, sweaters, wig and a little cosmetics... Her friends tried.
But most interestingly, I was tried three times and asked for a phone call twice. and.
To argue again about the desire - never!! to

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №102375
 01.09.2014
Natalia
Finished the cleaning?

Yuri
In the difficult match came the decisive time. Yuri went on, but the apartment responded with new and new difficulties. For each collected dust, the apartment gave a pair of socks or a piece of dog wool. The match was hard. No one wanted to give in. And here.. when the goal was close and on the side of the team of cleanliness appeared the squad with the cloth the apartment replied with a game of v-bank and put everything in the shutters....2 bottles of beer and WINED this difficult match with the score 4-3. Check out the match in a week.)

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