A case from the life of a courier service in the SPB.

There comes a guy on the vacancy of a courier. discussed everything. At the end, he clarifies:

I will not go by car, but by car.
You are 18 years old and already have a car?
No, not right
...??? to
I have a personal driver.
and???! to
Dad said, “You’re already a healthy forehead, go to work.”

hhh: You understand that you are writing too actively when your contextual advertising is an offer to buy wolfram hexachloride powder with a discount. In English. It is'

I was 10 years old. I went to my cousin’s house in the autumn. He suggested that I go to the colloquial garden for apples in the morning. I agreed, but asked if the guards would rush us. The uncle said, “Don’t do it, tribe. It is OK.” Ok so ok.

At about 5 o’clock in the morning we went to the garden. The garden was large, several hectares. As an adult man, I was serious about harvesting fruit, at least before lunch. I decided to pick up a few bags. Uncle had thought about it. I’m not driving here for the first time.

Upon arriving at the place, we went out to the central hallway of the garden and stopped. There was silence around, occasionally interrupted by the knock of apples falling to the ground.

Uncle, by the way, a middle-aged man, a height of two meters, cutting the seedling in his shoulders. Looking over the garden, he smiled and, taking a full chest of air, the Akis lion cried out, "Oh, see the Sukabla! The shooters!”

From the scream I sat down and covered myself with the bags I held in my hands. What happened in the garden cannot be described in words.

A loud shell of branches as in a hurricane, shells of bodies falling from trees, the ringing of overturned veers. Then the top of several dozen legs moving away in different directions and after the sounds of the start and start of the aircraft. Mostly motorcycles and motorcycles. When it was all over, my uncle stepped forward. After passing through the garden, we squeezed the apples carefully selected by other people's hands from the abandoned beads and bags into our bags and submerged the bags into the car. I still asked on the account of the guards, what the uncle whispered and assured that they also heard him well, so they will not come out of the guard for lunch. But mentally they are grateful to him because after such uncle's arrivals in the next at least a week no one worries the garden.

XXX: I would go to work, but I don’t have time.

We go to work with my wife in the morning, pressed into the rear glass of the bus, the BMW X5 stops next to the lighthouse, a boy 7-8 years old sits in the front seat and with a pleasant sight wraps a sandwich with red squirrel.
This is the old good class inequality.

I smoke in the morning on the balcony, there is silence in the courtyard and there is a penetrating voice of a baby 3-4 years old.

Look at your breasts! ! to ! to

My mom and uncle don’t want to watch either. I look out of the balcony from the table, the baby is throwing his finger on the tree.

Breasts and breasts!

an ugly boy, cheated on his uncle and judging by the curious roses from other windows is not me alone!

The story happened in 2009, when I was 13. I had an old phone that, in addition to its basic functions, had an FM receiver. I often listened to radio, mostly Europe + and Russian Radio. On the radio stations at the time gave souvenirs to those who would call at a certain time. Once again listening to the music on "Europe", I just got to the announcement of the draw - "He who calls us third, will get a box of Coca-Cola from our sponsor! “”

I decided to act. Then it seemed to me that getting a box of cola on the shell was the highest reward, especially considering that parents were very strict about this kind of "chemistry" and never bought anything like that. I’ve even imagined how I’ll boast to my friends, and then we’ll all share the prize together.

I begin to wait. There was the first one who called, after a couple of songs was the second one who called. Leaders include advertising and I understand – this is my chance! I put the phone on the car ring, and with trembling in the shower, I listen to the phone. Constantly busy. But I didn’t lose hope, and for the seventh time I hear the long whispers. My heart beats crazy, not believing that I will be answered now. The tube is raised, and I hear a pleasant female voice from the radio host:

Q: Hello, you have called Europe +! How are you called?

I am Oleg

Q: Oleg, you can send a greeting to all our listeners!

I: I want to send a greeting to High School No. 16, 7B class, hello boys!

Q: Oleg, do you know that we have a prize joke?

I : Yes..

A: I congratulate you! Your prize is a Coca-Cola box, stay on the line!

I: Thank you very much!

I can’t believe my ears, I won. With a stupid smile on my face, I wait for the host to finish speaking and tell me how to pick up my prize:

Q: How old are you?

I am: 13

A: Call the parents

I run to my mom, “Mom, mom, I’ve won a coke box! Hold the phone!”

Q: Hi, this is Europe + radio, your son won the Coca-Cola box, tell me where you live?

I don’t believe in free gifts, don’t call here anymore! (He throws the phone)

I almost cry, I begin to explain what and how, and in response I hear only "The car is still harmful, then thank you! “”

It seemed small, but it was offensive. I still remember my mother in a joke. After that, I won nothing more.

I found someday at junior courses in the summer a job at the factory as a loader. The group was imported almost entirely from a neighboring village. The peculiarity was that although the brigadier lived in the same village, no one knew his name and surname, did not know how old he was - Lukich and Lukich, looked at 45-50.

We had Lenka - a aunt of thirty-seven or forty years, stunned, forever stumbling on everyone. I couldn’t fuck in three months of work.

Well, one day I got on a “guess how old I am?”

Well, I think I was allowed to connect, “Well, 33-34,” I say.

What are you, oh oh? I am 27!

I begin to say goodbye to life.

I thought 50! Giving out from the corner of Lucky.

Lenka became the color of cancer, stumbled on the spot and decided to avenge, for some reason almost a whisper:

What do you think about in your 60s? ! to

Lukic grew up, looked for a few seconds and admitted:

In fact, I am 75.

Over Lenka laughed a long time, she then went to the neighboring factory :)

Imagine that everyone, except you, can read the thoughts of others. They don’t talk tactically.

Summer, it is hot, there is no water, the windows are open, the workers under the windows lay the cable. Yesterday they dug a hole, a mat, a pavement, the flooring of the structures could not be calculated. I hear today:
Sorrento, we are there.

Buying a car, my flegmatic, figure and behavior similar to a panda, my husband at the same time bought a traumatic gun. This is all you need to know about the culture of behavior on the roads in our city.
Let the flies just spit. This is really all you need to know.

Another question is what muscles a woman should have. You can not lift the weight with a slope, loading the back - and here we would have to explain to the school how to get up with the weight correctly, that weights should be carried on the back, that this very back should be pushed even to fairy tales.

The most funny thing is that men also often don’t know how to lift weights because they haven’t been taught in school. And they do scratches and good if they get joint pain in a couple of months, rather than break everything immediately and reliably. Think first, then do it. And look more at the ability of the person, rather than his/her letter.

Benefits of living in which you never rush:

1st Measured and in strict compliance with the PDD you drive a heavy and strong car.
2nd When trying another driver "study" you for inattentiveness do not avoid dtp and crash.
Three Waiting for the DPS. On the agreements "I hurry" and "I agree" you do not act. Upon arrival of the dress you prove the fault of the teacher with the help of registrars, the damage is calculated from the dealer.
4 is With the received money you repair in a known 100
5 is ? to
6 is The Profit!

and Cotangens

The cat with the banal name Matros loves to swim in the river. His daughter even carries him to the river every morning.

In some cases, I’d rather wash the floors across the office than have sex with crypto-pro and 7 bank clients.
Hm is. Crypto-pro and 7 bank clients – even sounds like the name of some old-school German porn...

I drink coffee at the store, a suitable alcoholic, judging by appearance - with a lot of experience. The most interesting thing is that her backpack is good, a jacket, a women’s bag and something like a clutch. I asked for 5 rubles. I say no. is leaving. A few minutes later, he returns:
Do you have a passport with you?
I am surprised, I ask:
Why Why?
- Loan to get - kicks on the nearby credit pavilion.
I fell into a stupor here:
and no.
He turns and leaves. Was she really hoping that I would take a loan for her?

I had a cat named Muscat. And all because I took a cat on the Bird Market with my daughter (free, just don't throw it away!It was wrong to identify the sex of the animal. He called her a gentle mouse. But a drunk fighting friend came and defended me – with eggs like that – and the Musecca! It must be clear! Muscat lived for ten years. Cute was the cat.

You asked to wash your dishes, but you asked without respect. You don’t even call us crusaders.

XXX: briefly about my diet: I’m standing out to pour sugar straight from an exploded kilogram pack of sugar into a glass of hot cocoa, boiled from steamed milk and boiled without even trying "Lord, how delicious, how delicious!".

I went to the barber yesterday. The master was a very nice woman of 50. She laughed a lot, shared advice on hair care, boasted of her own. And how is it accepted among women of this age (who are pleased with themselves) asks:

You think I am how old?

I don’t like lying at all, but why did she want to lie, I say:

No more than 40!

No more than 32...

As you can see, the haircut didn’t work well.