That’s why I’m never going to this hernia, like “we are men, strong, a stone wall, a mammoth, and you are a fairy, let me help.” Such a knight will draw you a conditional couch, and then because he knows you will owe him. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You are offended, Cannes. They say - a funny feminist, all the babies are babies, and don't give you a coat or a bag. The wild. I am not wild. Who knows what tax you have in your head. Wash the floor for the sofa. and OK. And for holding the door and the coat to serve - borscht to cook or immediately minetics, how to squeeze? If I play these games, I’ll do it myself. Consider a physicist, convinced.

XHHH: Fuck what advanced

A clear pen.

I’m not in a cow’s tail.)
We have everything in fashion here, civilization, vaping, anal...

You are there, and we only have civilization.

Michelangelo made a statue of David from just one piece of marble

I did not collect, I cleaned up.

He came to the police station for not very pleasant reasons, but not about that. While waiting for his hour, he listened to the conversation of the police on the racy.

Emergency to the bridge. We have a body in the water.

What a corpse?

and ordinary. A middle-aged man without upper clothes (it is worth mentioning that the case was in the winter)

We will soon.

The fucking! He is alive!

What is?

and alive! Pasha reached him with a stick and stumbled. How he swirls!

So pull it out!

Communication is interrupted for a few minutes. A call from the bridge:

and reception. Where do we take him?

Did not understand?

He decided to get drunk and swim.

This is the amusement of Alcatraz.

You know guys:

In any situation, it is a fool. What I thought helped and thanked not to say that allowed.

I would actually be better off than allowing anyone to help me. Because what’s in his head I’ll still owe him. They are offended, yes. It’s easier to live, that’s real. The suitcase in the subway is twice as slow, but I will reach myself, only to not listen to the obsessive "I helped you, now you have to give me the phone number." Go fuck you with such help.

When I was a child, my younger brother was still Swintus. At 35 degrees of heat, when all the nearby rivers were drying and the earth was cracking from drought, he could find dirt and fall in it from his feet to his head. But then it was September. He is 5, I am 10. It was rain. His mother put on his last clean clothes. I asked him to take care of him so that he’t get upset this time. But I didn’t have time literally for a few seconds. He had ears in the dirt. He stumbled, fell into a hole. I feel sorry for it, because it comes from my mom. brought home. She told her mother that she had put her foot and he fell. Oh, I was so entangled then. “And if he was hurt, his eye would break out.” But I endured it all. I am the older sister. Mom went to the kitchen. My brother and I stayed alone. I look at him proudly. I think appreciated. With tears in his eyes, he said, “That’s why you put my foot on me. Now I sit at home. “You are damaged!” And three more days. I did not defy him anymore.

Are you drunk?
is not
Do you wander?
I am not shaking. I maneuvered

In the summer evening of the 99th year, my friend and I – two five-grade students, decided to walk through Atacent (the park in Almaty), and eat ice cream.

I was already approaching the place where we had agreed to meet, and suddenly I heard the screams of a comrade. A terrible picture arose in front of me: my crying friend sits on the edge, and covers his head with his hands, and around runs a shrimp in a fork (apparently drinking), and actively distributes his backbones.

I remember when I was 12 years old with my brother. I was terribly frightened, but I still gained courage and ran to save a friend. Envious of this, the man grabbed him with one hand, so as not to run away, and the other crushed in the fist. And he made it clear to me that his current limit on beating children has not yet been exhausted.

I always understood the clues quickly, so after running away to a safe distance, I began to look through the eyes of an adult who could save us. Luckily, there was a TV host known in the 90s. Without hesitation, I ran to him for help. Of course, the host asked the shuffler to let my friend go. A huge thank you to him! As they interpreted, we stumbled that we had the strength to tell the parents. There were no cell phones at the time. On the way home, the comrade told me that the man suddenly ran to him and started beating him. For the fact that he allegedly stole a bag of meat or something else.

The fighting wounds of a friend were impressive: several times the shashler hit him on the head with a fist, and then began to give out the unshakable backbones.

An hour later, my father and I, and the police, approached the unfortunate stallion. Saturn, who had eaten the children, as in nothing, armed over the mangal. Judging by the bottle of vinegar that fell out of his hands, he did not expect to see us again.

Soon we were at the point of reference. A friend wrote a statement, I was a witness. And the shale was sitting in the corner, covering his head with his hands. Having read the statement, the districtman announced that we have two options: to close the hooligan for fifteen days, or to forgive and release.

Hearing this, the shale began to beg for mercy, and naturally cry. Tears, tears and all things. He even threatened to kneel in front of a friend, but he was raised. "Boys, my wife is giving birth in a month and my mother is sick. Who will feed them? I beg you to let go!” My friend and I saw a healthy man crying for the first time.

And that, I have to admit, made the most indelible impression on us. But we were even more upset when he swore through tears to feed us free of charge with a shale until the end of the centuries. Looking around with the fathers, we decided to regret the feeder.

Forgive and let go.

The next day, two boys took an important walk in the park, anticipating the feast.

Sitting at the sticky table, we began to wait for the promised contribution. Shashilnikov unhappy sprinkled us a dish with two sticks of shashil. So many years have passed, but as I remember now, there were four orphan pieces on each shampoo, two of which were pure fat.

It felt like he regretted not having stifled us yesterday and buried us somewhere under the pine. But we didn’t care, because we were provided with a hollow shawl for the rest of our lives! We quickly dealt with the catering, which was literally earned with the blood and then my comrade, and rightly asked for supplements.

What was answered: a lot of shale is harmful to the liver.

The next day we came back there. But instead of meals we were waiting for a short conversation with the shuffler.

“Did I promise you to eat? and promised. Have I cooked you? Gosted it? are free.”

I wanted to remind him of the oath to feed us forever, but I looked at a friend’s still unhealed seedlings, and we decided not to be angry with fate.

So, at the age of twelve, I realized that compassion for mu’acks is an unacceptable luxury in our time.

My dog knows the team "What was the team?"



It means approximately the following. You give a command, for example, “Voice! “” He heard it very well, but he freezes to do it.



So if you are not satisfied with the question, “What was the team? ? to ? “ He will whisper loudly, i.e. perform the command “Voice! “”

And this is the situation with any team he did not perform from the first time :)

I finally did a repair in the apartment, now I come home after work and sit missing, I don't know what to do, because a fascinating repair lasting almost a year has already worked in me a habit.

I work in Crimea in a children's camp as a leader. Literally yesterday in the squad of chickens (little children 7-8 years old) someone began to poison horrors before going to bed. As should have been expected, some brother and sister were so insured that they led to nervous hysterics. Fortunately, their father was on a holiday trip in the same city and quickly arrived.

During the meeting this dialogue was:

Q: What happened, who hurt you?

D: We were told about the dead. They said they would come to us at night and eat us.

Q: Let them all lie, the dead do not go and will never come to you. Do not believe? Let’s go to the cemetery and dig your grandmother?

The Jealous:

With the girl in bed all quietly.
The lady of the heart quietly squeezes me in the neck, and then says, "If you lick the neck of the unicorn, then
This will be my favorite taste."
The moral of this fairy tale is this: am I a horn or a unicorn?

This is a phrase from the Disney animated series "Gravity Falls". A twelve-year-old girl said, calm down.

I invited a friend to celebrate the anniversary. He invites you to enter the house, says Utili, through the window. A friend hasn't seen for a long time, I think well, Corphane got drunk, then his girlfriend with bags in the window blinked. What for? Calls me - look at the click, or it is dangerous, it can break. I see, and on the veranda near the entrance door there are two aluminum flags blown up almost to a spherical shape, a terrible thing. It turned out that he put a barrel, but what he didn't think about with the drop of pressure and now waiting for the flags to explode, it's terrible to approach.

Chelsea is complaining. I bought 5 kg of frozen shrimp. Freeze - 1.5 kg of product and 3.5 - water.

XXX: I wondered if I bought such a shit? for such as you "g" and sell

Yyy: When you want a shrimp, normal boys sit in their barracks and go to the sea with their nets.

Xxx: It rains on the street.
I hear, the window is open.
XHX: 50 kilometers between us. In theory, there could be a clear sky in your window, stars, a falling comet, a unicorn, and the invasion of the Martian.

* works in Tyumen in an oil company*
- - - - - - -
I could not clarify. We are here in Tyumen, we all work in oil companies.
And in the morning we drink a glass of oil and snack black caviar.

The Tasmanians

Asked, as a man, to help with physical strength? Well, isn’t it men in every dispute about feminists chewing their muscles? Such a request sounds like "you are stronger than we are." Some even cheer. Not stronger or no desire to pull? Give up all affairs. Asking a woman to wash the floors in your office sounds like 'your grandmother's thing to me to clean the dirt, this is your place, and I'm too king to shake hands. The glory of a fool to such a character will stick absolutely naturally and justified.

Yesterday on the road:
“Tosik, you know the Institute of Russian Language has canceled the word xy.
Wow, you can’t say that!
So this is in Russia, we did not cancel in Minsk, we can still. and :-)

On the way back:
Remember, at the building, you did a lecture on the history of architecture? How is that style called?
Classical architectural style.
I remember it was a short term.
The Institute of Russian Language has already abolished the short term, which has prolonged the technological process in construction. and :-(

by Othello:

Have you caught Pokemon at night?

Alex: yet the name of the furniture brand is very convenient: the instructions are clear, all the details are present (especially small, with duplication)
Assembled and felt a giant of furniture craftsmanship

Max_SPb: in the 8th grade alone assembled a wall of furniture from 5 items. I do not remember any particular difficulties.

Torres: It’s even better. Michelangelo made a statue of David from just one piece of marble
=) is