bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №142113
 11.06.2017
Therefore, the seeds are specially made to blossom well, but do not leave offspring so that the client will come back again. Nothing personal, just business.

Conspiracy is not everywhere you find it. Remember the school course of biology and the term "heterosis". Another good example is broiler chickens. So it is beneficial for poultry farms to keep a separate maternal herd for the production of eggs instead of simply getting eggs from the broilers themselves in the process, right? They just dream of boring themselves with money.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №142112
 11.06.2017
After ten or about that change of jobs for 15 years of experience became finally clear. If you have a super-mega-understanding boss who always goes in front of you and allows you when you need to come later and leave earlier, then one of your colleagues has a manager - a evil spider who always hangs someone else's job on them.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №142111
 11.06.2017
What summer do you have? Give you the fools the summer, so you immediately set fire on your turf. And then pray – Oh, let it rain, let it rain. © by

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №142110
 11.06.2017
<xxx> yes, I had to cut tomatoes with this knife. You know sometimes the swords were given names, well, the type of excalibur, this scissor should not only have a name but also a title. His stupidity.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №142109
 11.06.2017
xxx: The only shot in the history of the king-gun is a shot of the ash of the false mitry.
yyy: Ohuet before the rallies "He is not you Dimon" passed.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №142108
 11.06.2017
By the way, twenty years no longer give peace to the question: after Bilbo did not eat breakfast and gave Gandalf the keys, he fled to meet the dwarves at the Green Dragon... Or did he shut up the house, only picked up the shirts?
On the one hand, my imagination paints Gandalf still gray while washing cups.
On the other hand, the state of this breakfast on the table at the return of Bilbo.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №142107
 11.06.2017
I work as a loan specialist in a bank and recently somehow my eyes have started to tear. Formulating the next application for a loan, I asked the standard question "cost for utility payments", the guy replied "thousand 10-12" and here I get a paper towel and wipe tears from my eyes. The guy didn’t get confused and said, “Girl, don’t worry, some pay more.”

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №142106
 11.06.2017
The sports.

"Football players of Bosnia and Herzegovina and Greece fought."

Zzz: And Bosnia and Greece beat Herzegovina.

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №142105
 11.06.2017
We must fight for victory, not just drink.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №142104
 11.06.2017
My daughter grew unnoticed. My son-in-law has already gone. This is my second visit today.
This is clear, it should be noted. Bake the shrimp. It is hot today. There is also mango. Divide to the belt, type and sun and water cool. I look at the guy, calm, phlegmatic. How they will be further unclear, the daughter is like dust.
Sitting at the table, I swallow. The future mother-in-law puts the son-in-law salad and then notices the wounds on the left shoulder.
“Where did you get hurt so much?
He said, “Aauauau, you are old! Look at the morning! Don’t you see that it’s a bite?? to
The smoke is so calm:
- While I was driving here, the car broke, repaired and the assembly broke!
Apparently everything is OK! They turned out! No is wrong!
My daughter intervened:
“Mom, look at Daddy’s exact same wound on his shoulder!! to
Calmly so that:
Well, since the wounds are the same, it means that the models of cars are the same too!
I see both of my girls looking at each other and getting red in the eyes. Finally arrived!
I have all filled and say a toast:
So that the models don’t break!! to
The wife and daughter jump and crawl under the table. The weather laughed a little. It came to me last.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №142103
 11.06.2017
And remember, girls, that young, beautiful, smart, rich, fun and not greedy are six different men.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №142102
 11.06.2017
You have a shabbat. How do you press the keys?
We have a voice set.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №142101
 11.06.2017
- In the first 12 nights they have... no, not a car in a pumpkin turns, but the cash reboot, and minutes 5-7... In the second if you go in the night - keep in mind, all the stock prices at 12 cease to act (this is exactly the case when the cocher in the rat... ))) But here are the goods that from the morning must participate in the action...fig you!! They do not act yet, because they are not killed yet!! And yes, I went out at 5 p.m. at night.
Take a stick next time. And put them there properly.
The baseball.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №142100
 11.06.2017
XXX is. You can learn to kiss tomatoes.
I love tomatoes too much to defile them.
XHH: And the cucumbers, therefore, do not defile either. Harashio
How to Learn to Kiss an Ogur
WOW:...
He He He He He He

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №142099
 11.06.2017
In the late 1990s, when Google appeared, many people broke their heads, as it is said.
The most epic was sorrow.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №142098
 11.06.2017
It would seem that stupidity cannot be measured in length, however, the line to someone's relics has already reached eight kilometers.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №142097
 11.06.2017
I really thought there were no such people.

There is a girl talking to the manager of the communications operator in the salon.
Customer: I have a very expensive rate, ~290p / month, switch to time (almost 2p per minute)
How much do you talk per day?
Customer: Well 3-4 hours a day...
Manager: Every day?
The Customer: Yes!
Manager: Well you know that then you will have to pay about 7,000. rubles per month.
Customer: and before I paid less on the old tariff, I don't need a subscription fee!!! I need time!"

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №142096
 10.06.2017
A tornado in Siberia is impossible, like a shore in Peter.
There is a possibility in Siberia.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №142095
 10.06.2017
He also experimented with blood transfusions.

Academic A.A. Bogomolets claimed that a person can live up to 150 years. Stalin closely monitored his work, provided him with all kinds of support and did not skip rewards and titles. When the academic died in 1946 at the age of 65, Stalin said, “Here, a fraudster: I deceived everyone!”

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №142094
 10.06.2017
Based on the recent story of the Tobolsk prison castle.
I am a journalist and a friend from another city came to me to practice in our newspaper. I arrived at 7 a.m. and at 9 a.m. we were in the office. I am given an assignment - to go to Siso for the opening of a new regime corps. The girlfriend knows no one in the editorial office or in the city, but to go far and for a long time, so the only option is to take her with you.
They arrived. We were conducted around the corps, we were all shown and told, we were photographed in the cameras, all things. Then the banquet.
I was never on a steeper drinking table again, as you understood - on the lengthy table, every half-meter, there was a litre bowl with red caviar, in each of which a spoonful of a tablespoon was spinning, say, you must swallow the jump yourself. a few hot dishes, a selection of drinks - names 10... we sit, we drink, we swim... well, a friend comes sms from my mom, say how the daughter arrived, how met? My daughter wrote: "We have met very well! I sit in SIZO, drink cognac, eat red caviar with a tablespoon, shoot in the chamber!" Mom humour did not appreciate...

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