bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №86185
 28.08.2013
Q: What kind of cancer can columns catch cellular?
WOW to calm down. Radioelectronics is like that.
Wauu: I remember in Niya when a colleague worked one assembled a Tesla transformator. So, at the first launch, everyone put off the bricks and then roasted the rest of the day when the radio lighthouse was heard from the discharge.

[ + 22 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №86184
 28.08.2013
Two girls approach the window of the night pharmacy. Two men came and waited. The lady "shot" at the cafe shortly before that.
One on the move says to the other:
But I didn’t want to... and I didn’t want to! not planned...
and pharmacy:
Is there an anal lubricant?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №86183
 28.08.2013
I work in the salon, the girl came to make nails, we choose the lacquer
She is that beige.
I: this color merges with the skin, it will almost not be visible, maybe brighter?
It’s very cold at work, the hands are blue.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №86182
 28.08.2013
There is an opinion that if you remove all the icons of operations in 1C, then 95% of accountants will not even be able to get out of the program.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №86181
 28.08.2013
to this:
And if this effect of “reality” is used for the shooting of the film about the Amber Kingdom. "The Chronicles of Amber" of Roger Iron. The same it.

Iron willed not to screen his works.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №86180
 28.08.2013
In short, I worked as a duty doctor in a sanatorium in the summer. In addition to the holiday camps, there was also a summer camp. And one day they sent us a practitioner from the peducity, chiefs. They were curated by the glorious teacher Maria Alekseevna. We worked with two madmuazeli-friends in different bodies, mobile communication there does not take the edge, they were transcribing, leaving records in the cushion.
One day the note was drawn by Maria Alekseevna. She decided to read it on "Pad".
And it comes down to the phrase "Did you go after the disco?".
In the brain, educated on the “Code of the Builder of Communism,” there is righteous anger.
The angry curator begins his monologue:
You are a future teacher. How could you? Children will be equal to you. Look what you wrote! I was afraid!! to
Without allowing the student to recall:
What test word? "Ab your mother!" So it is right to write "She Fucked"!!! to

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №86179
 28.08.2013
There is a small store near the house of all kinds of sanitary items. People there work with humor and imagination, so they often come up with something funny. Here, for example, today I discovered that they displayed on the window... a layout of a sniper rifle (!Carefully constructed from short plastic pipes, angular connectors and T-grants. Moreover, a rifle with all the prambas: an optical target, an extinguisher, a folded stabilization focus... I hear, these guys will go a long way - if not in business, then in modern avant-garde art.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №86178
 28.08.2013
We sit down with a friend and talk about politics under a beer.
“Well, look, the roof of the bandit, it’s actually not limited to anything but their greed and fuck what you’ll do with it.
There are force structures.
This is if you are very lucky and they are not bought.
And if you are pressed by the same menta, you will do nothing at all.
You can apply to higher authorities.
Praying for something?

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №86177
 28.08.2013
Sberbank is burning. I paid the fee through the terminal and received a wonderful check. "Sberbank of Russia" Okay clearly

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №86176
 28.08.2013
In the topic of funny names, the truth is not about Orthodoxy. A friend told me that she came from such a huge patriarchal Kurdish-Russian-Armenian family. And in this patriarchal family, smiling at the community, everyone is ruled by the elder, then by the grandfather.
And here, his youngest son was born a child, a boy. Grandfather immediately solemnly announces that he will be called the little one in honor of his father. My grandfather’s father’s name was Vaginal.
The family is hysterical, the mother-in-law from the nursery calls, cries that it is better not to return home than to call the native child Vaginal, the son and so to the grandfather is trying to approach, and he stood up and all - so my father was called, wonderful name and I don't want to hear anything! The rest of the family members, whom this trouble did not touch, rushed.
In the end, the family solemnly announced to the grandfather that he is so loved, respected and can not live without him, that they sleep and see that the little one should be named in honor of the grandfather himself. And some next baby (here all the sons, apparently, vowed not to make more sons) may already be vaginal.
My grandfather has an unusual name, Prince. But here, as a friend summed up, "everything, but not the vagina"

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №86175
 28.08.2013
Photo in contact - a company of 7-8 teenagers aged 14 in the cinema. The comments:
Fuck, who is in the center? Somehow she’s an adult, you’ll tell her that at the age of 18 it’s time to study in the universe, not in the ninth class.
This is my 25th, my 25th!! to

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №86174
 28.08.2013
Request for technical support:
A bad word. I cannot enter the system. Specification of a82cd3

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №86173
 28.08.2013
For those who don’t remember the classic:
________
to you:

... can a liquid terminal be hollow inside and a pair of nickons thick outside, if possible, will it be larger than the Earth to cover its entire surface?

Armed with a calculator and a google we begin:
Since the Terminator is very similar to a human, the volumes are roughly equal. The man who played the Terminator (Iron Arnie) weighed 113 kg.
________
I could not read further! Have you forgotten that Robert Patrick played the liquid?! to

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №86172
 28.08.2013
Filmmakers have arrived.
They were asked to show them something on the screen "so that the numbers escaped".
They were shown cat /dev/urandomíochod -h.
They liked it, they removed it.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №86171
 28.08.2013
Easy: Today at work I feel like a graveyard, I come to scan the documents, and there, the death certificate, the death certificate and everything in that spirit. I remembered the horoscope I read in the morning: “Today your work will be dark and funny at the same time.” And it is true, I read the certificate, the cause of death is careless wrapping with a giant secator. Dark and funny...

[ + 33 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №86170
 28.08.2013
See how interesting.
Anastasia: Mayakovsky gave his beloved Lily Brick a ring with her initials - "L Yu B". Being arranged in a circle, these letters formed an infinite “LOVE.”
Dima: Well if I put your initials in a circle, except java java nothing will work.

[ + 31 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №86169
 28.08.2013
More from "Russia Post" In the line in front of me, the girl was finding out what happened to her order letter, which did not reach the address. They clarified and answered: on the road, the mailing item added weight and therefore it was returned for a supplement... A series of different hypotheses were put forward, including "it was described and wet on the road." They do not miss...

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №86168
 28.08.2013
A notable seal came out- "...the head of the organization...."

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №86167
 28.08.2013
I sat in the company of a beautiful girl, and I was scared. My horse had no curtain.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №86166
 28.08.2013
From the discussion of mail.ru cloud:
XXX: A strange kind of service.
I went in, scrolled a couple of pages, pressed “to try the cloud.” A pop-up window appeared "You will be sent an invitation letter" O.o On mail.ru I don't have an account, where he sent the letter - unclear...
YYY:As already written - full integration with FSB 3.0
You will be sent a letter by Russian mail.
zzz: No, you will receive an invitation on the agenda.

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