bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №131719
 05.08.2016
There is one nuance. Usually, after such men are holy confident in their infallibility and perfection. I have a few such examples in front of me. The wife hugs her husband, he loosens his tail, assures herself that he is unworthy, his wife is unworthy, and falls.

I support! In my personal experience I have encountered such a situation. I have always admired the invincibility of Jewish women. There is something in them that is not given to others. Take, for example, the insured and dragged Lily Brick, from which Mayakovsky "will like a puppy". They know how to praise a man so much that he seems to have believed in his agency, but at the same time believes that only she understands him. The High Pilot!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №131718
 05.08.2016

This is a question of female logic. The fence, the seat, the roof and the barrel itself on the outside is also a jersey?(The distortions, of course, are different...) Or is it dirty for years?

The bowl is wrapping :)
And so it is obvious that the wife or mother beats the rest of the sanitary equipment. The boy whispers and thinks his mission is completed. I would also write "I wash myself, is that not enough? andquot;

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №131717
 05.08.2016
Crab 20:06
Windows itself started downloading and putting upgrades
Crab 20:06
The computer has already rebounded 10 times, how much does it weigh?
Crab 20:06
Y Y Y Y Y Y Y Y Y
Crab 20:20
What a pleasure.
Crab 20:21
it removed vmware, classic launch, restored default programs, dropped programs attached to the panel
by 20:22
He declared war on Bessarabia.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №131716
 05.08.2016
I walk past the childhood. I hear the elderly (11 years old), something tells the younger (5 years old): "... and the main thing - how you start dating, don't ask for a shirt immediately, otherwise he..." o_0

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №131715
 05.08.2016
After the universe ended, he went to the military command to be removed from the record. My aunt is in the files for a long time. Then he thinks and says, “You’re looking for us. Here I was really overwhelmed. I thought the punishment was shaken. Article, betrayal of the homeland, 10 years of camps. And it turns out that the matter lies in a separate file with losses. As far as I can remember, the moustaches are taking.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №131714
 05.08.2016
(HH - working in a coffee shop)

Fuck, washed the whole kitchen with soda and chlorine, tired, no strength, but clean and sterile everything.

Is it disinfection?

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

The disinfection...

HHH: Well, yes, or they’ve been checking, they’re going to build the auditors, they’d also be poisoning them all!

It is disinspection!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №131713
 05.08.2016
A husband plays a toy on a compass, asks (m - husband, I - I):
How is "Dick Wyce Hands" translated?
I: "dick with hands"? Are you sure?
m: yeah, "Dick Wyce Hands"
Herer with his hands.
I go to the monitor and look at it "dig with hands".
Dig – to dig

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №131712
 05.08.2016
When I look at you, I remember my father. When my mother gave birth to her sister, it was the first child he saw alive, not in the picture. he was in shock: she turns out to be commands as a puppy does not learn from birth. The joke is that I have never seen more perfect children before or after. She never cried, didn’t run where I put it there and took, ate what they said, no options in the form of “I want it!” I don’t want it" She was always pleased with everyone, sometimes she cried quietly. He even cried on that. However, the funniest thing started later. he decided that all the kids were like that (devil laughter behind the picture:)
When a boy was born, it was something. Not the genes, but the genes. but! This is a boy. He slips, runs like a bitten man and whispers unceasingly in order to express sadness, joy, indignation, and just shake his lungs. Everything gets enough, pulls, turns, jumps, slips, rides on the floor, knocks, crumbles, melts, falls, and again on a new. No bruises, scratches, dog bites, demands and warnings from adults stop him. Illustration to the song "in every little child"

And here the father began to wave the hysteria of a two-year-old sick boy. Because it is loud! He wants silence! And the order! Why didn’t they have time to clean? Why didn’t they cook? He sees that the child cannot be left for a second, that any order flies instantly, but the Indian sheriff's problems are not fooled. It is good if the house is not forced to build, and the mva does not subdue.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №131711
 05.08.2016
My story from a medical worker.

It is not a large city, south of our homeland. They appeared in the distant Soviet years in the clinic fluorographic office, and with him - a laboratory practitioner. The laboratory worker was strange, he went to work in rubber boots (the south is hot). I thought it was strange, landing. But history is not about that.



He was very hunter before work - from morning to evening worked, took additional shifts, etc. and pr. In general, he loved his job.

Everybody has fluorography?

In two words: you approach the shield, you lean your chest to the screen, a second - a click - free, go dress up.

So, this laboratory worker told the girls that they had the wrong chest, approached, and confident movements of the hands "fixed" their breasts.

Patients, by no knowledge, were sure that it should be. He worked for about 2 years until he rushed to a doctor from the neighborhood.

Conclusion: in every, even routine and ordinary, profession, you always need to approach work with creativity and fiction.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №131710
 05.08.2016
When it turns out that a bunch of money and time is missing, and no reason - the guilty are being sought. This is usually the wrong environment. It's convenient, after all - gave three months on courses of intimate pudel cutting, broke up a company, issued business cards, where you are the CEO, the site drawn and you sit. And then such - "no, and what to expect in this country, there are really creative people not needed". With the subtext that in normal countries, figuratively cut a dog XXX is a vital procedure.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №131709
 05.08.2016
You are #ak.
Are you an officer?! to
I am an artist, I see it.

[ + 42 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №131708
 05.08.2016
Discussion of the task for 2nd grade "Put the missed slogan in the phrase - Yozik from fear tries to eat"

Listen, we’re not saying “sugar sugar.”
YYY : ))
YYY: I am not
XXX: therefore the jewel is not shrinking, it is either shrinking or shrinking
XXX: “turns” – does not fit in letters
YYY: You’re talking about Chee)
XXX: so there is no alternative here.
XXX: If we use a verbal that contains some substantive, in our case, “hexagone,” it means “to come together” is to perform an action similar to the hexagone.
XXX: and the jewel in this case is a master object, so this term will not be applied to him. It applies only to analogues.
YYY: nargaмаааанкааа )))
XXX: No, I am completely sober. I’m just bringing the argumented proof that “Ezekiel is afraid to try to kill himself!” Though you’re studying in second grade, even if you’re retired. It will only be done and done! ;)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №131707
 05.08.2016
My sister was in the decree three times. Specifically asked - never forbidden to read during and after pregnancy smart books, watch and listen to smart programs. She herself, in parallel with child care, built and repaired houses, where she herself, where she headed the brigades of builders. The children grew up, engaged in sports and painting. Her acquaintance in child care leave studied the MBA off-site. There would be desire.

There would be healthy children. And then it happens, you know, it seems to be healthy - but until a year, it is constant. That is to say, he eats, sleeps, and at intervals he oreth and calms, only when he is swallowed on his arms. Doctors find nothing, the child then has no consequences; consequences in the mother in the form of a disturbed psyche and wild fatigue from a year's lack of sleep. And you - "home to build"...

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №131706
 05.08.2016
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah That is, it is a place where they do not see or feel God’s presence.
There is no shrimp there, there is a torment from your passions - you wander, you will be tormented by lust, you will smoke - you will want to smoke, you will be jealous or angry - you will be cooked in this juice.

It may also be from the word "aidos". Only, it gives up to me, “I don’t see it” is because nobody has seen it live. But from somewhere, they know what’s going on! And in such details that only your hands distinguish!
And if I loved hunger (well, such a painful passion), will I be fed delicacies there? I wonder, what are the assexual? Or is it just about this case that it is said "and the living will envy the dead"?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №131705
 05.08.2016
Those yes. But I dare note: Moses led all together, not women separately in one desert, and men separately in another. That is, they were in the same conditions of brain correction, behavioral lines and habits.

by Da-Da
The seventh commandment is the same for all.
Not only the women are bad, but the men are good.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №131704
 05.08.2016
My mom and I went out for a week, my dad was at the farm. He meets us at the station, we sit in the car, he turns on music. Fu you, said, this collection has already hit. Changing the monsoon on the flash is the only thing I didn’t do out of what I was going to do. All the rest I did and did not gather.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №131703
 05.08.2016
Based on the news: "In Peter, the statue of David was covered with a causal spot." Is everything going around? and :)

In the 17th century, an epidemic of morality began in Rome. Pope Innocent X was concerned about the disruption of spiritual spires. He issued an order to cover the statues with shame. With female sculptures, everything was simple – they attached fig leaves to the genitals. And the male statues the Pope ordered to remove all speeches. Hammer and tooth. So that nothing goes up. The rejected members were carefully assembled and demonstrated to the Pope.

Several decades ago, the artists of the Vatican decided to rebuild what was lost. They walked with a box and applied the decomposed organs to various statues – trying to determine whose member it was.


[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №131702
 05.08.2016
I will not say for Brusilov, but where Kutuzov and Chuykov were at the time of the beginning of the war - they went astray.
Oh my little boy! For Brusilov did not say, but about Kutuzov and Chuykov straight out all the foot! Without scratch, as in the spirit!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №131701
 05.08.2016
My young man is snoring. Once he was already asleep, and I was stuck in, and suddenly I remember that I recently got an article with a solution to this problem. Speaking loudly and sharply over his ear. What the fucking joke, I thought, and cried out loudly. It became quiet. I couldn’t believe my ears. And here, in complete silence, there was a silent but confident "dumb."

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №131700
 05.08.2016
The entrance where I bought my first apartment looked peculiar.

As the brother-in-law said - "entry is normal, but it's early on the march and the syringe is hit in the shit - it's a strong installation"

In addition to my, there were three other apartments for sale. The house, by the way, is good, the ceilings are high, brick... And the tenants are normal – it just happened historically that the alkashi and narki sold their apartments to the agency and left, and the habit of the area to roll in the entrance – remained. The agency solved the problem simply: they gave the crew of the PPSnikov a couple of thousands,

They climbed up to the fifth floor every night – and all who were not locals – knocked on their backs with their oaks. Repeat after 4 hours. Two months and I don’t know.

As the hostess said - the situation is normal, the cost is not much - and then it is much easier to sell.

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