bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №101773
 13.08.2014
The survivor :

In my unchecked plots, our friends Azerbaijanis, as always, suddenly gathered to fight with our friends Armenians. Probably a centuries-old habit. Traditions and customs are just like ours.
So, with whom and against whom will we be friends, right?

We will be friends with all and relentlessly tolerate them, to the damn mother, without waiting for peritonitis.

[ + 40 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №101772
 13.08.2014
God, who knows how I hate pedestrians who think they’re always right. Even if they are in the wrong place. Even if they run away because of something that limits visibility.
Literally recently, I ride calmly for myself, 40 km / h maximum, in front, eight hundred meters, just the lighting changed the color to red, so there is nowhere to rush. I pass by a small hole, next to it is a fur. I got along with her and at this moment, because of the fur, a man with a child suddenly runs out. And not just runs out, but runs to the middle of the road, sees me and falls into a stupor. If guided by the rules, then I should just press the brake, without touching the steering wheel, knock down this fool and feel great, as I fully fulfilled the prescription, without breaking absolutely anything. But I went around, did it, nothing bad happened.

So why am I obliged to anticipate the actions of the pedestrian who crossed the fence, hid behind the car, ran out on the road and stopped on it? What is the speed to go, 20 or 10 kilometers per hour? And on the road, because there may also be someone who needs to cross the road? Why, in the absence of violations on my part, can I eventually be guilty?

It seems to me that pedestrians just need to refresh their knowledge about crossing roads at least occasionally, just because it will be safer.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №101771
 13.08.2014
The audio forum.

Page 1 of 1.
Question: People, what monitors for 300 backs should I take? I look at the options:...,...
<...>
Page of 49.
Okay, I understood everything. I repeat the question: which monitors up to $2000 have a more or less decent sound?

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №101770
 13.08.2014
They will be carried through Belarus, as Russia has no access to the sea.
Does Belarus have it? Psy, is it you?

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №101769
 13.08.2014
Question to doctors: - which muscles are pumping during the stroke?

Answer: The muscles of the middle ear... when you listen, so that no one enters the room.

C is listened.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №101768
 13.08.2014
Tell me about the Russian language.
______
It was:
Do you have water?
Not water but water.
Give me water.
Not water but water.
I see you drink!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №101767
 13.08.2014
Trailer of the horror film:

A young girl investigates a series of strange incidents in the house. It turns out that the previous tenant accidentally called the devil...

111: Here and rent the apartment, then

222 It happens. I remember renting the apartment, so the neighbors regularly called the devils. Those who come knock on the door, open the door to Sergeant Petrov, and I lie down, let’s say on the floor, I shout out the demons...

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №101766
 13.08.2014
1) The law of Dima Yakovlev is caused precisely by the increased cases of violence against adopted children from Russia in the United States (and others). The most important (and the most important!) - The courts of these countries issued extremely mild sentences for the culprits. Case accumulated year after year, we thought that the diplomatic can be changed the position of these countries, that this is not systemic. And the case with the unfortunate Dima became, as it is called, the last drop. Per, of course, a number of drops and added the "magnetic law", but it is not necessary to attribute evil intent where it is not.
--------
Even himself, "Hope and Support of All Childhood of the Russian Federation", Astakhov was unable to answer the question "How many Russian children in the same period were killed by adoptive parents in the Russian Federation and how many in other countries?" Informal sources say that for two dozen cases in the U.S. (for N years) there are several hundred or even thousands of cases in the Russian Federation. And that doesn’t count Russian children killed by their own parents. Until, in support of the Dima Yakovlev law, the authorities have not presented the relevant official statistics instead of emotional screams – I will not believe that the problem is in the United States.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №101765
 13.08.2014
Without the ban on the import of foods, I would never have learned what chamomile is, I would not have bought it, and I would not have realized that it tastes like dry cat food. But on the other hand... dry cat food to taste like chamomile

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №101764
 13.08.2014
From the correspondence with the next "picapere":
Let’s meet, let’s go.
WOW: It is unlikely. I have someone to hide with. Husband, friends, shashik and nature.
HH: And I am not there?
WOW: Well... in the categories "husband" and "friends" not...
Which one is there? ;)
WOW: Em... In connection with the above points, I was even confused now to answer O_o

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №101763
 13.08.2014
Sberbank is fucking
Why didn’t you like that shit?

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №101762
 13.08.2014
Well, and if something doesn’t like – a suitcase, a train station, America. Hi to.
Who are you to tell me what to do in the country I live in? Could you go to the KDR? There you can walk as much as you want and glorify the great leader.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №101761
 13.08.2014
- This is now such a trend to call everything "smart", I have no doubt that soon there will be "smart" toilet paper, which itself breaks off from the place of perforation.
“Paper, throw it down!” said Peter and stumbled out of pleasure. The smell of strawberries. It was an ordinary morning of an ordinary day in the year 2037.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №101760
 13.08.2014
Conversation with Th. I don’t remember what support.
I dictate you now.
Where does a poor programmer’s pen come from?
The electronic notebook.
I talk about him.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №101759
 13.08.2014
That you know: flavored toilet paper serves to refresh the air in the toilet room, and not to make your buttocks smell peach or chamomile, stop licking yourself!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №101758
 13.08.2014
From one comment to the series: "The greatest series in my life. Better than Sherlock. Just watched the 8th season of the 22nd series, until the tear blinked. With age, I become mercantile. Great actor Hugh Laurie."

Question: What is the author’s age?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №101757
 13.08.2014
Lada Kalinin: - One day I asked my parents where they were doing me... They told me, in a joke form, what was in the car. Well, now I understand why my name is Lada. ?
Lada Teterina: Oh! It is hard! )
Lada Kalinin: – Give me five! )
I like the combination of your name and surname.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №101756
 13.08.2014
I like men who know what they want. I saw. I fell in love. was married.
And not “let’s enjoy each other”, “let’s take care of each other”, “let’s try to live together.” This extends for years.
He changed, he killed, he buried. And not "how could you?", "of the children thought?", "go to the mother of the shalava!".

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №101755
 13.08.2014
I have broken my old iPad. It is good that Natasha gave another two years ago.
XXX: She has never used it.
XXX: I use it now.
YYY: in
YYY: we need to give Olga a helicopter...on the radio control
Tagged: tent
yyy: and screw for the motor

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №101754
 13.08.2014
I never understood. Who are these Brie and Hamon? The Egyptian gods?

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