bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №141933
 05.06.2017
The first job (the very beginning of zero), communication with a customer from another city by phone in the conditions of then-analog ATS - a problem. I am delighted to find that it is possible to correspond with him by e-mail (which at the same time solves the issue of time zones difference). And colleagues, it should be, it could be!

The last job at the moment. 15 years later. A representative of the contractor company is an uncle, but has a very fig diction, when trying to understand what he wants from you, the head acquires a square shape. It turns out that when communicating by email, this problem is removed. Friends, you can do that too, right? Forgot, it turns out that mail is not just for the purpose of collecting alerts from forums.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №141932
 05.06.2017
The problem with kissing St. Nicholas’s rib is not that the rib can be false. Let it be the rib of Jesus himself.

The question is: "what should change from the fact that I kiss this rib?"
If nothing, why kiss him?
If something needs to change - so let's conduct a series of experiments and make sure there are positive effects, put on the stream kissing the ribs.

This is called the modern thinking of a free man.

But the ribs kiss because it is accepted. Respect for the Church, for God.
Because there is a risk that if you do not show respect, you will not be taken to Heaven.

"You ask me, but you do it without respect"

In all herds of monkeys there is a strict hierarchy, with mandatory ritual signs of expression of their subordination to the dominant, the alpha male.

The Church forces people to show worship of God in the same way as it is in the monkey flocks.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №141931
 04.06.2017
Good morning and warm weather!
Somewhere the hydrometeorologists were stuck.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №141930
 04.06.2017
From the real letter:
What kind of growth are you?
And what?
I only meet up with tall guys.
See also 190. How much do you weigh?
What shit, why are these questions?
I don’t meet with giraffes.
“Hujace, you are a fucking fool, a hater condemning women, I hope you die alone!”! to

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №141929
 04.06.2017
Yesterday I finally met my daughter’s boyfriend.
I never thought the boy in class 10 would be higher and more muscular than me!But most offensive is that his beard is thicker, more beautiful.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №141928
 04.06.2017
XHH: Listen, can you somehow find out if a person is worth an adblock?
See also: UGU Ask him where to make money in just 30 seconds.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №141927
 04.06.2017
I eat without problems, I eat on the beetle, I am a Maine Coon, not a tiny Ro.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №141926
 04.06.2017
xxx: *thinkingly* the mechanism of forming the opinion of the grandmothers on the benches brings me into the state of wtf.
I went home and found out that I was a “poor girl” who works in an intimate store. Simply because one of them (grandmothers), passing by such a store, saw a red head there, as far as I could understand.
...at the same time, there are no transparent windows in the intimate shops. To see someone in it, you had to go in. The question is, what did my grandmother do? 0 0 0

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №141925
 04.06.2017
[SW6]Smile> the fucking cat hit smoking
Panther> the cat is smoking?
Panther> what did you learn?
[SW6]Smile> de jumped out and now the chicken carries from there, smoking probably

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №141924
 04.06.2017
The phantom vibration of the phone in the pocket of the pants is nothing compared to the phantom mosquito at night in the room, from which you can really lose self-control.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №141923
 04.06.2017
I love Scandinavian folk music, I listen to one song beautiful in Norwegian, and here I dumb that I understand the text, up to the Offgel, I think the hero has opened up a new skill, this is the way from the Nifig, I understand the Norwegian...

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №141922
 04.06.2017
Again, we talked about full women in leggings.
Do you care? and asexual? Do not sleep with them. For some reason I don’t care what people go in, the main thing is not to smell, it doesn’t matter what makeup on women, whether men have socks under sandals, and let the scrotum from under the shorts be visible.
The only option when it can be real doesn't matter - if your partner / partner is extremely silly dressed.

I am not full, I also have no leggings, but there is a habit of wearing the same clothes, especially in summer, when everything after washing dries out overnight, and how many comments I hear from neighbors and acquaintances, like, you need to wear different things, dress up... I am comfortable in my dress-midi, it is clean, pretty dressed and looks like new, but no, these chickens I do not go through the dress code. They also have a chip "why don't you wear shorts and shorts?", I don't want to wipe the seats in the transport with my skin, and I don't want to suddenly freeze.

Do you lack beauty in your life? Go to the Uffizi gallery, plant flowers on the balcony, bring a cat, and turn away from others, be kind.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №141921
 04.06.2017
Have you ever dreamed that you have four or six legs?
Noah, it is fun
EVA: How does it feel?
Fuck, it’s hard to convey in words.
Ahha, here’s when you have six legs.
Q: In what order do you transfer them?
See also: HZ
Once again I have six legs.
I can’t walk and I fall.
EL: Why did you do that?

[ + 26 - ] [15 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №141920
 04.06.2017
The strength of a woman is in her weakness, ah. Health in sickness, wisdom in stupidity, wealth in poverty, and logic in the ass.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №141919
 04.06.2017
I am from Chelyabinsk. Μοand the coceads are very noisy, always arranging walks, scandals, orts. Ha days riding κ relatives in gοcτand in Πandτeρ. Ρsigns κsigns οsigns οsigns οsigns οsigns οsigns οsigns οsigns οsigns οsigns οsigns οsigns! And coceedi is not byyaτ, not opyτ and not drunkτvyjuτ. They πrocτo play on πyanino until three nights. Fucks

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №141918
 04.06.2017
qqq: Yandex-Direct on the page with songs Picnic publishes: "Certification of a psychiatrist. Fast, cheap and officially! We work without weekends." Contextual advertising is so contextual.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №141917
 04.06.2017
Lirriella: It would be great to be able to move at the speed of thought... I would like to visit so many places.
L: I think I’t have stood up and definitely trod the earth’s scientists )) Signal there on the Morse alphabet in English with the alpha centurion to send, etc.)
Andrey: They would have had enough hit (Better in Russian)
L: Yes, maybe... From my English they’d hit enough.)
Andrey: "Hello Let’s get to know you"
L: "How do you do it?"
A: "M or J"
L: "What are you doing? Have you got a picture?")
A: "Do you want me to follow you on my starlight?"
L: Or not, better "I look after you, earthman!"
L: I know what you did last summer"
A: "Do you have club norms to extinguish?"
L: It would not be bad to create an intrigue.)
" All the attention! This is very important! The question of life and death, time is very little! We discovered that very soon our universe..."
And all, and to keep quiet.)
A: I forgot to add a shock!
L: And in a couple of months, when all the telescopes of the earth will be directed to the source of the signal, add: "cargo transportation throughout the universe, inexpensive, we accept visa cards and mastercards"
L: "additional services - replacement of tires on the Mars rover, transportation of vehicles to the solar side of the comet"
L: "selfie with planets, stars, black holes"

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №141916
 04.06.2017
Young Successful

Trolls on debt are burning in black :) A guy like you will be deducted 40 thousand each month during the year (480 in the sum, isn’t it), but he can’t resign because he will have to compensate 350 thousand. I’m silent about the general sadness of the history of "education of employees".

You, young financial genius, have already been answered once, but I am not lazy to repeat. You can knock the door and proudly go into the fog, saving 130 thousand, and then eat chren without salt in search of happiness. Now with work somehow not very, especially not in the capitals and highly specialized industry. And this is if they will not be in the race, telling potential employers that this person is better for them not to take. And in the history there is also a mortgage, which you have to pay every month. Already with two months of vacancy and a salary of 60 in a new place, your wonderful mathematics is flying to the brink. This does not count the possible psychological and family problems from such uncertainty.
by PS. I was looking for a job with a decent salary for six months, interrupted by random earnings and taxation. Without a mortgage, but with a two-year-old child and a wife sitting in the decree. I would not wish this to my worst enemy.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №141915
 04.06.2017
When you are born, be sure.

You won’t get rid of small troubles.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №141914
 04.06.2017
From the crown.
In the station buffet, he took a portion of vermischeli with sausage and settled at the table near the summer window.
With the same portion, the young man approached, asked if it was free, put his plate on the table and left for bread.
A crown flew into the window, landed on the table, grabbed a sausage from his plate, and flew away.
I sit on the fork of my sausage, with my mouth spread out of astonishment, looking after the crown.
The guy returns, looks at his plate, my sausage on the fork, and me with a silent question.
I say, “The crown has taken away,” and I know you won’t believe it.
He silently moved his plate to another table.
Who would believe...

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