At the train station: attention! Chauffeur, go to the dispatch immediately!

on TV broadcast about the wives of the oligarchs "the rhythm of the capital forces to do several things at the same time"
And I put such a mask on my face and my cat toilet.

How to set the floor in the database.
1 boy, 0 girl
- Yes, the boss says the opposite, but I understand the course of your thoughts
Then call it HasPenis: Boolean.

xxx: a river with the name of a predatory mammal, 4 letters?
YYY: Oh... Lena?

Today I saw, as when boarding the bus, the grandmother arranged a scandal that she was the first. There were four people on an empty bus.

> O4Kapuk was defeated.
> So it’s called now: the eyebrow.
There were many years ago, when it was just fashionable to write Russian nics from composite Latin (most software did not allow Russian symbols in nics to be entered). And the man wanted to be called a “hunting man,” and he wrote it JloBeLl. Well, and of course, someone did not understand the trick, so it was attached to him - the Jolobel.

I am an ordinary single mother of a beautiful 3.5 year old daughter. Standing in a row in the store, the grandmother standing in front of me begins to admire the beauty of my daughter. "And who are you so beautiful in?"Look at me carefully, bounce "Now obviously not in my mom. And where is your daddy, little boy?" The child looks at the snooping aunt and answers seriously - "He is already dead. The old was. Like you" Aunt grabs the heart, standing in a row behind the stomach.

Wife and husband:
- All, there will be no sex today, you didn't buy condoms.
The husband:
But we have another package.
The Wife:
This is for guests...

I also want to go to Russia, where the average salary is 25,000 rubles

Mort: Invented a new device for Apple. This will be a device that drastically changes the temperature of the water with the heat to burning hot in a fraction of a second. And then hot on ice. I will call it "Iblis!". By the way, the experimental sample is already installed in the shower of our room.)

I came home and I was on the threshold.
I met the blue cat. this
The clock was blown up in something, I
I haven’t found anything yet, but I have now.
all blue: floor, window, pillow,
The table, the threshold and I. Tomorrow I will wash,
The grandmother rides, saying that
It is a real Russian blue.

To me Sberbank sends SMS, such as "Realize your dream - take a consumer loan from us". Strange, I had another dream.

The father reads a lecture to his brother about the fact that he plays too much on the compass and looks at the telecast, saying, at home someone will die, he will not notice...
And I am two meters away from them at this time blowing over the toilet because of food poisoning and nobody notices me :-(

From corporate correspondence.
Note: Roman on vacation, everyone knows this

by: Roman
For whom: Glory
Copy of: Mikhail
Please check whether the conditions of transportation in the port of destination are confirmed.

From: Glory
For whom: Roman
Copy of: Mikhail
> Who are you?

by: Roman
For whom: Glory
Copy of: Mikhail
Glory, this was written by Light at the request of Polina, who temporarily replaced Roman on behalf of Vitaly Alexandrovich. In general, we all walk under God.

by: Mikhail
For whom: Roman
Category: Glory
and the shield???? to

It is bad when you are disliked: sex has to be brought to an end.

History of New York Taxi Driver

One of the New York taxi drivers wrote on his Facebook page:

I came to the address and picked up. After a few minutes, I swallowed again. Since it was supposed to be my last flight, I thought about leaving, but instead I parked my car, approached the door and knocked... “A minute,” the fragile, elderly woman’s voice replied. I heard something dragging on the floor.

After a long pause, the door opened. A 90-year-old girl was standing in front of me. She was wearing a sitze dress and a hat with a whaling, as if it were from the 1940s movies. There was a small suitcase next to her. The apartment looked like no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with blankets. There were no clocks on the walls, no clothes on the shelves. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photographs and glass dishes.
“Would you help me take my suitcase into the car?” She said. I took my suitcase into the car and then went back to help the woman. She took my hand and we slowly moved towards the car.
She continued to thank me for my kindness. “It’s nothing,” I told her, “I’m just trying to treat my passengers the way I want them to treat my mother.”
“You’re such a good boy,” she said. When we got into the car, she gave me the address and then asked, “Could you go through the city center?“”
“It’s not the shortest way,” I replied quickly.
“Oh, I don’t mind,” she said, “I am not in a hurry. I’m going to the hospice...”
I looked in the back mirror. Her eyes were shining. “My family has long been gone,” she continued in a quiet voice, “the doctor says I don’t have much time left.”
I quietly stretched out my hand and turned off the counter.
“Which route would you like to go?” I asked.
For the next two hours, we walked through the city. She showed me the building where she used to work as an elevator.
We walked through the area where she and her husband lived when they were newlyweds. She showed me a furniture warehouse that was once a dance hall where she was engaged when she was a little girl.
Sometimes she asked me to slow down in front of a particular building or street and sat down in the dark without saying anything.
Later she suddenly said, “I’m tired, maybe we’ll go now.”
We walked in silence to the address she gave me. It was a low building, something like a small sanatorium, with an entrance path along a large portico.
Two doctors approached the car as soon as we arrived. They were careful and helped her out. They must have been waiting for her. I opened the trunk and put a small suitcase in the door. She was already sitting in a wheelchair.
“How much do I owe you?” She asked me to bring a bag.
“Not a few,” I said.
“You have to make a living,” she replied.
“There are other passengers,” I replied.
Almost without thinking, I leaned and hugged her, she held me tight.
“You gave the old lady a little happiness,” she said, “Thank you.”
I squeezed her hand and then left... Behind my back the door closed, it was the sound of closing another book of life...
I did not take any more passengers on the way back. I went where my eyes looked, immersed in my thoughts. For the rest of the day, I could barely talk. What if this woman was caught by an angry driver, or one who was impatient to finish her shift? What if I refused to fulfill her request, or after a couple of times, I then left?
In the end, I would like to say that I have never done anything more important in my life. We are taught to think that our lives revolve around great moments, but the great moments often catch us astonished, beautifully wrapped in what others may consider small things.

Do not sit in the entrance, do not spit in the elevator, do not throw garbage past the urn, drive according to the rules, give up a seat in public transport, do not give up and take a bribe, do not get drunk, respect your history and culture - and you will not notice how you will find yourself in a civilized state.

Olga: Did you see the candidate of Upyr Roman Yuryevich?
Olga: "Upyr is elected to Irkutsk parliament"
Anna: Ahahahah!!!!! to
Anna: O Lord
In the voice!
I am at work.
You can tell it to everyone. :)
I have two heroes of my youth.
Olga: Roman Yuryevich here and again Boršč Sergey Vasilyevich
Olga: code name "Borst at the meeting"
Anna the poor!
Olga: and about the latter periodically have to write
Olga: "reclamed to journalists Boršt"
Anna: I always knew that journalists can’t do without cocaine!
Not life, but a conversation with holes.

"wow: no-no-no – remember the cricket, the U.S.
Democracy always came after the slave-owned system!..."

Democracy in the Greeks did not come after the slave-owning system, but it coincided perfectly with it in time. As in the United States, by the way.

From Habr:
That's why I love the hubr so it's because you start reading about the IR sensors, and you end up with the technique of cleaning the toilet with an erchic!