A colleague took a Korean to the dacha. and pers. In the winter, the house was loved by mice. With the mice decided to fight in the most humane way - to smash the special glue of the cardboard, the mice for the night will stick, in the morning the mice to take off and release. Overall, the plan succeeded. At night, the mice clinged and began to feed and shrink. The cat went to see. What does a city cat do when it sees a live mouse for the first time? is correct. Surprised, he sat his ass on the cardboard. He was able to cut off the legs from the cardboard, but here is everything else... In an hour of catching the mad animal, all the inhabitants of the house were caught in glue. The cat was returned to the city with exhausted baldness in the most spicy places.

A bad question, but still.
How do larvae of dead flies get into a closed grave?

The first powder in history. All rules are observed: 9-8-9-2, the first and third rows do not rhyme, unexpected ending.

The day you dreamed.
I invented everything myself.
Quietly descended to the ground.
The Winter

I'm telling the girls: "My dad and I have 19 years of marriage this year, crypton wedding."
Arina: “Cryptonite is the only thing that can kill Superman.”
Alice: “19 years of marriage is the only thing that can kill Superman?”

I have more cat than humour here. The cat is not big.

About my kids, my 5 copies:

"Tommy and Annika - these cute and careful children - stood frightened and didn't take their eyes off the gentleman.

Do you live here? He asked.

“No,” said Tommy, “we live in a neighboring house.

“But we come here every day to play,” overcoming embarrassment, Annika added.

“Well, I will quickly put an end to this,” said the gentleman. I won’t let my kids run through my garden. There is nothing more disgusting in the world than children.

“I totally agree with you,” Peppi said, and even stopped jumping for a moment. All children should be shot.

How can you say so? Tommy was scared.

Yes yes yes! All the children should be shot, Peppi insisted. - But unfortunately, it can’t be done, because where will all the important uncles come from then? Without them, we can’t do it ".

(c) "Peppy Long Sleeve"

to this:

QWERTAS: in the neighboring area. We can do without anything. We can do everything right away. We can do without anything and without everything at once not only for a long time, but for a lifetime.

Yes we can. But it reminds me of a situation where the dear government says: don’t use a washing machine, use a laundry board. It is patriotic. I have a question: which is X? They are not going to deny themselves anything. In general, the way of prohibition is stupid. Other people such figures would have long been exposed to the frost.

[2:59:44] Alexey A.B.I just asked in the lobby of the devil "sleep what?" guess what happened in 2 minutes? Okay, in the hook ?

I need your help. As I said, the lives of innocent children are in danger.

Where is the border?

I apologize to you, Gren?

You say that young life is more valuable. So where is that limit, my dear child, after which life loses its value? Where does she fly?
But the child...
He warningly raised his finger.
“And don’t hope to play my feelings, claiming that a child’s life is valued higher because of the delicate age. When does life become less valuable? Where is the border? At what age? Who determines it?
He was silent.
Every human life is invaluable. Death is death, regardless of age. Do not attempt to influence me with tearful slogans, like a whisper, in front of a brainless crowd.

More here :
here here :

To all fans of the slogan "All the best - children" I want to remind you of a parable that was previously read in primary school:
This boy has a greedy mother. She will never let him eat a candy without sharing it with her!
Then the boy grew up, his mother grew old, and the same people began to say:
“This guy has a happy mother, he will never eat a piece without sharing it with her.
This is what we are talking about, and you with your screams will take away from yourself - I will give the child only to corrupt your children, growing out of them selfish and egocentric.

Once listened to a conversation with a child psychologist, and there she told me that she had a difficult period in her life when there was no money at all. And if she miraculously turned around, she could suddenly buy her son an apple or a banana. She must cut it in half, hid one half in the refrigerator, and gave the other to the child, saying I had already eaten my half, and the next day gave him the second with the same words.

Alexin has a story of "In the rear as in the rear", a mother with an eleven-year-old son was during the war for the Urals, worked as a horse, and all the additional payments gave the son entirely. Then she fell ill with pneumonia and died. The doctor said that it could be cured, but the body is excessively exhausted, weakly resistant to disease. The boy was left without his mother, but he felt guilty for his whole life.

I: Tell me where the pedals are in the car!
My wife is down! :)

— — —
Tell me about the Russian language.

Vasya89: And that you sold the car as you moved to Moscow?
Kruha: Because in Moscow, a car is needed for a person who goes to his class A office in the heat in a trio suit and does not want to sweat. And ordinary boys sweat, but get to it quickly.

We all learned a little.
Somewhere and somehow.
I finished the course and thank God.
forgotten

by VP.Is my paper printed there?
I went to a white friend.
by VP.Has Chennai come out?
by VP.In the sense of the printer...

Help the weak on the street.
We walked somehow with a friend in a winter evening - two such elevated individuals aged 16. We can see: on the sidewalk a 7-year-old boy with saucers, and next to him on the sidewalk the face down the grandmother lies. It was bad for an elderly man! We raise it up, and the old lady, it turns out, was twisted and rolled on a broken bottle. brought home. The boy turned out to be more proficient: seeing that the grandmother was in reliable hands, went to the entrance, entered the code (good that the girlfriend remembered) and joyfully ran home. My grandmother missed that moment. And, fucking, it was so terrible to lead her down the street and scream: “Suki, you stole my child!”

He is. I have two grandmothers at work. I call them Buranovs. Not from the fact that songs are sung, but from the fact that they "Buran" was launched into the sky and provided for its landing. And yes, old ladies.

In the bowl:

On the dating site the guy sent a message: "Hello, Beautiful, can we meet?"

to be beautiful. be beautiful.

My boss’s phrase today: “You only call when you need money!” threw me into a wild goat.I guess the next phrase should have been: “You don’t love me!” or “You don’t value me!” and then tears, hysteria and swollen lips.

If you learn to enjoy what is not, you will live your whole life without knowing the sorrow.

I go into the office, sit in a chair, stretch my legs, cover my eyes.
The first year?
What is? I grumble, I grumble. It was half-dark in the office, I did not notice that there was anyone else here.
Do you work the first year? A fat man sits on a couch in the remote corner of the room. - Just I see, a young doctor came in, tired and too excited at the same time.
Sorry, but strangers cannot be here.
Please forgive me. But I am not entirely alien. I worked here for almost 30 years. The Surgeon. The Child. Two years in retirement. I went to visit my colleague, Pavel Alexandrovich. You must know him, he is the chief doctor here.
A man approaches me.
by Vasily Igorovich.
- Sergey... Sergey Vladimirovich, - we exchange handshakes. His fingers are thin, but his hand is hard.
- I was already going to the exit, but passing past the "native" office room did not stand up and looked. This sofa is 10 years old! How many nights he spent on duty. I just sat down, and here are you. He breathed heavily and fell straight into the chair. I think it’s a newbie!
I’m here for the third week after the appointment. Children’s hospital emergency is the most desperate choice. You know, all these injuries in children... it seems I will never get used to. Although colleagues assure that in a couple of months I will not react to the screams and crying, "like scaly." If it doesn’t work, I’ll go to an adult clinic.
Vasily Igorovich slightly smiles, looks in the eyes.
I hope you don’t turn around and stay here. I have never regretted becoming a child surgeon. Our profession allows you to know a person like no other. I can confidently say that everything is present in children. Fear, pain, despair, courage, courage and love.
Vasily Igorovich is silent for a few seconds, whispers, tells:

Fifteen years ago, at night, a nurse runs here from the reception room.
The highway! The patient is in the second operation.
He ran, the brigade had already gathered, a six-year-old girl was on the table. While wearing clothes and sterilizing, I learned the details. There was a family of four people in the car. Father, mother and two children: twins a boy and a girl. The girl suffered the most: the blow hit the area of the right back door, where the child was. Mother, father and her brother were hardly injured - scratches and hematomas. Help was provided on the spot.
The girl has fractures, dull injuries, bruised wounds and large blood loss.
In a couple of minutes comes a blood test, and carry with it the news that it is the third positive we do not have right now. The question is critical - the girl is "heavy", counting minutes. A blood test of the parents. My father has a second, my mother has a fourth. I remembered the twin brother, of course, he has a third.
They sat on a bench in the reception room. The mother is all in tears, the father is pale, the boy is desperate in his eyes. His clothes were filled with his sister’s blood. I approached him, sat down so that our eyes were on the same level.
“Your sister was badly hurt,” I said.
“Yes, I know,” the boy whispered and squeezed his eyes with his fist. When we hit, she hit hard. I held her on my knees, she cried, then stopped and fell asleep.
Do you want to save her? Then we have to take your blood for her.
He stopped crying, looked around, reflecting, suffocating hard and sneezing. I gave a gesture to the nurse.
Aunt of Light. She will take you to the procedure room and take blood. Aunt Light is very good at doing this, it will not hurt at all.
and well. The boy took a deep breath and went to his mother. I love you, Mom! You are the best! Then, to Daddy – And you Daddy, I love you. Thanks for the bicycle.
Light led him to the procedure room, and I ran to the second operation room.
After the operation, when the girl was already transferred to the resuscitation, he returned to the hospital. I noticed that our little hero is lying on the couch in the procedure room under the blanket. The light let him rest after taking blood. I approached him.
Where is Katya? The boy asked.
She is sleeping. Everything will be well with her. You saved her.
When will I die?
Not very soon when you’re old.

Vasily Igorovich pronounces the last phrase with trembling in his voice. Silence for a minute.
“I see, Sergey Vladimirovich, you didn’t really understand what special happened then. I also did not realize immediately. Several hours tormented doubts, and then shaded. Many years have passed, and I still get sick every time I remember that day. The boy thought he would die after he was “taken blood.” So he said goodbye to his parents. Childhood naivety? and what? He was 100% sure he would die. He sacrificed his life for his sister. Do you know what action he did? The most real. And no one noticed. Stay here to work, Sergey Vladimirovich. It will be hard sometimes, but you will never regret it.