The Russians paid more than 800 million dollars for the Tony Robbins show. 26,000 people gathered for training at the Olympic. And this despite the fact that tickets cost from twenty-seven thousand to half a million rubles. Many were dissatisfied with the theses spoken by the coach. His advice was called banal.”

They just didn’t understand the main lesson that the “Business Coach No. 1 in the World” taught them:
To get rich quickly and without much effort, you just need to be able to find 26 thousand Russians, ready to put out from 27 to 500 thousand. The rub. Two hours of banal advice.

She worked as an accountant in a security agency and simultaneously kept personnel records. The incoming calls are on me too. A girl calls and goes into her forehead:

Who are you such?

I was a little rushed:

Sorry, but who are you?

“Why, creature, is he calling you?

Who is he? Are you about anything at all?

He has a phone number on your phone!

Who exactly are you talking about?

Do you have many of them? ? to ? to A prostitute is it?

I put the phone. In a moment she calls:

What tubes are you throwing? Who gave you the right to get rid of men? Why did he call you?

I don’t know who you are, what you want and how to help you. My work phone is constantly called about the vacancy of the guard. Did you know that your young man is looking for a job?

After the pause:

Okay then...

And guts...

Is it necessary to clarify that a man with work has flown?

I have a drunkard and he has a parrot. So he didn't get into psychyshky because of the puppy: he didn't talk about it, but he started to imitate the puppy twice. Pipe at night...Until they understood what was going on, they didn’t sit!

The director lived near the factory. A quiet summer night, about 2:30 p.m., breaks into the passageway, awakening the guards with cries:

Where is the fire? Why is there no security report? Why doesn’t the master pick up a cell phone? Where are the fire cars? What about mobile communication?

There was no fire, we would know.

The director ticks them a cell phone in the nose, with a fresh SMS from the master: "In the factory fire, we can't call you." The entire staff stands up, no one knows. Finally, they call the home master, he can first understand nothing, and then says:

I sent this SMS a week ago. Remember, we burned the warehouse and you were fishing?

In our civilized world, the most peaceful life has always been far from civilization.

On the account of gold retriever Trepp from the Florida Police Department, more than 100 criminals have been detained and drug detection worth approximately 63 million. The dollar. One day, during a demonstration at a police academy, Trepp was asked to find 10 hidden packages of drugs - he found 11.

On the day of the city, the city council of Moscow will spend 100 million rubles on the clouds.
I ask the sick children who are collecting money for the operation to treat this with understanding.

It is not the U.S. State Department that ruins the country, but the pensions of $ 120.

The question is not who you work, but who you are, human or not.
The story of Gaia. The 2010 year.
I get a call: my wife has begun to give birth. I rushed after her from work, turned to the left, after J.D. Moving through a straight line. There is a GAI car, 30 meters from the move... I explain the situation, slightly opening the glass... The reaction was this: "Go home, we are behind you."
And indeed, they followed me, I went home to home, I took my wife, we went out of the yard. And they turned on the flashlight, and - went in front of me, in the end, flew to the nursery in 7 minutes, and if the persian through all the traffic jams - an hour and a half would have been in them... I offered the guys a large money - they were offended, honestly, did not take!
With a smile, “Other time!”
Thank you guys! Unfortunately, I did not ask their names, but they were...
Do not hang the labels.

Were slaves paid pensions in Egypt?
and no.
And in Rome?
Neither is.
Now you see that in matters of pension reform we are guided by foreign experience?

and Taxi.

I got a complaint that I was a drug addict. They went to the office, looked at me, talked. Suddenly, no matter what, the officer asks:

What music do you listen to?

“Who is a drug addict?” I think.

Different in mood.

Is there a flash with a muscle in the car?

There is.

What music on it?

The Dip House.

Okay, then go to work.

That was it, I wonder.

- See, read the text of the complaint, - the monitor opens up to me.

I read, “The driver is a drug addict. All the way, I was silent, eating skitts and listening to drug music.”

It happened today :)

I wake up at night from a phone call. Time is 04:50 The voice of the chief (N) in the telephone:

N: OBYDLEVSHIY, are you going to work today or what?

I: Yeah, yes, the boss of course.

Q: At what time will you appear?

I: Well if there is no big traffic, then somewhere at 8:30 am I will be.

H (stolenly) is praaaawda How long is it now, dear friend?

I: Eeee... So without ten or five in the morning...

N: That is exactly!

He puts the phone.

Now he no longer remembers our conversation and is very surprised by a minute-long outgoing call on his phone.

earned in short)

Every man has a cemetery in his soul where his disappointed people rest.

Thanks to people!
There was in Soviet times such an Armenian film, with Armenia Borisovich Jigarhanyan in the main role, Zimbaliuk to help him or vice versa, it doesn’t matter, but the actor is brilliant!
I don’t remember the whole story, but there was an episode that hit the memory... An elderly Armenian came to the city with his daughter and grandson. The daughter told him that she invited her boss to visit at the table to discuss her promotion! This Armenian grandfather, by his rural simplicity, began to roast a strawberries right on the balcony!
The firefighters came to the smoke and one of them walked onto the balcony, and this grandfather, performed by Borisovich, invited him to this evening feast! In the evening before the event, he told his daughter about the firefighter’s invitation and the daughter whirkled like you were invited! The grandfather came out! How can someone be considered worse or better? We are all people! When I was on the front, who helped you and your mother? People helped you.
Here is this phrase from the mouth of Jigarhanyan, it sounds in my head for almost a day!
I work as a captain of a small boat in Lazarevsk. There was a small local storm yesterday. There is no work in the storm and I am on the anchor.
On this occasion, the shipowner and my friend Sasha arrived on board! Sasha is an experienced sailor. He was once a sports coach. But there is an old woman too! Sasha decided to take his friend off the shore.
We approach the shore with our nose. That is, the boat goes out to the beach by the nose and then backwards departs! At all my warnings that in a storm it is not safe to approach the shore, Sasha pared that skill is not to drink! In short, one good blow of wind and we with the boat sunrise on the shore! As the storm lay, a rescue operation began.
We picked up a vessel weighing twenty tons, we ourselves eleven... The boat didn’t shell!
They picked up a seventy-tonne "driving" - the boat didn't shell! We go along the beach with Sasha, thinking about our unenvious fate, and here a man approaches me.
Let’s go hand in hand?! to
My answer is meaningless! 11 tons of it! He says it is shit! Let us try! Take the microphone from the beach calls and ask the men to gather!
I did not believe in the success of this company. Forty men gathered together and pulled out eleven tons of stones from the beach, so I barely managed to jump onto the boat!
Two vessels could not even move the boat, and a man of forty Russian men were pushed out, and even with the displacement in the sea my boat! Their girls, their wives, their daughters, their friends, stood by and encouraged them! I'm sure that if we didn't get the first push, these girls would be pushing too! This is the ordinary people!
Cheated and robbed by the state but not lost a human face!
After pushing out the boat, they all shouted loudly that we were all Russians and not Pandos and went on to drink a beer and sunbath! And I stayed on my boat with the full confidence that we were invincible! Together we will survive any government.
I love you my Russian people!
by Dmitry Zhdanov

Russia is facing a demographic crisis. The number of those who steal continues to grow, and the number of those from whom you can steal is decreasing catastrophically.

This story I heard while on a business trip, it happened in the late 1980s and may be a battle, but I still decided to write it.

At the end of the 80s, a minor accident occurred at one of the nuclear power plants, it was urgently necessary to eliminate it and it was decided to call a slug who knew the features of the work of the failed equipment best in the shop. tk. The case occurred in the evening and the hero of this story was at home (there was no home phone in the apartment) a car of the type "Buhanka" was urgently sent to the city, the task of which was to find and bring this employee immediately. At the moment when UAZIK entered the yard, the slugman was found going to the bakery store with an avocado in his hands. After a short conversation, the slug got out, jumped into the car and walked to meet the adventure. There were about 18 at that time. Then began the titanic work to save mankind and it continued almost until 3 o’clock at night. At the end of the work, leaving the zone of controlled access when passing the dosimetric control, it turned out that the special clothing of our hero is a bit phonized. After he removed his special clothes, it turned out that his cowards also emitted ionizing radiation, after which all the clothes from the slickers were taken away, and his own laundry was deactivated and sent naked to the dressing room. It was almost five o'clock and our hero returned home, his wife naturally was not pleased that he came without bread, but even more annoyed by the fact that there were no cowards on her husband. After a short verbal interruption, the husband was expelled from the house where he left his cowards. Sitting on the first morning bus he went to work, and there asked the head of the shift for written evidence of the reasons for the disappearance of the cowards and "not buying" bread. The paper was handed over and the comrades went with her to the house. But the wife naturally did not believe any papers and expelled her husband from the house for the second time. After this, the hero of this story came to cry to the chief of the shop, and the chief, entering the situation, said that he would save the family happiness of the hero of the atomizer and went to his home with him. After two hours of negotiations, the wife agreed to let her husband go into the house who is losing his cowards, but she said to the boss: "I know you men, but I don't know where.

You are going to blame each other!!

I got an unknown number today:

- Good morning, you are concerned with the "Bla bla clinic", we offer a free body examination service, - the young man broadcasts cheerfully, - can I find out your age?

I was intrigued, so I answer:

Good morning, 25 years old.

“We provide this service from 40 to 75 years old, I’ll call back when you’re 40!

Well, I will wait.

The Paradox! Money cannot make a person happy, but its lack can make him unhappy.

In Samara, the directorate of one of the city’s schools made a plea to a history teacher after it turned out that he had forced six-grade students to teach biographies of criminal authorities in the city and the region.

The situation became known by chance. The parents of one of the students saw that he was writing a report by September 1 about the “Sanju Muha.” As it turned out, we are talking about the criminal authority Alexander Mukhine, who was killed in the explosion of his Mercedes-Benz in August 1998. After questioning the son, they found out that from March to May, the new history teacher taught them not a school program, but biographies of criminals.

“The son told us that the fly was rolled by rats from the automotive factories, afraid that his six would give the legs all the schedule. We, frankly, were in shock,” shared local resident Svetlana.

As it turned out, the story of schoolchildren was led by the 47-year-old former teacher of physical education Valery Kamnev, who appeared in some compilations of the 1990s as "Valera Stone". According to the representatives of the school administration, he had to teach history because there were no other free teachers in the school, able to give the desired number of hours. The director of the institution promised that if the study of the criminal world continues at history lessons, the next pretext will be made already with the entry into the work book.

Kamnev himself declined to comment on the situation in detail. He told the local TV channel that "the boy turned out to be a waltz, of course," but stressed that he did not intend to "pull the void" on this topic.

Seite is reasonable, good, eternal.

Nuances of Russian language.
“Don’t persuade me” means “No.”
“I don’t have to persuade you” – “Both hands for!”