bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №85585
 14.08.2013
xxx: and I write a fairy tale - "Lish and Goose"!
YYY: And what is there?
As long as the name is invented...

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №85584
 14.08.2013
Because of the fact that I’m usually the first in phone notebooks – I’m often ringing people’s asses and being silent, swirling my clothes!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №85583
 14.08.2013
This morning I made a joke.
I call to dictate the indication of water from the meter.
She said to me: Thanks.
I am – big!
It is: Big

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №85582
 14.08.2013
Olga: What are you treating, Maine Liebknecht Freud?
Alexander: Vodka))) No, I joke, of course - Remantadine, I cook herbs (I cook!!!Drops in the nose, all that.
Olga: Well, a complete disappointment))) It’s all too right!
Alexander: Ol, well, I am still not a classic male, I am half-pedor, so I know how to treat, I know how to cook and - oh, shame! I don’t wear socks ?
Olga: Damn))) Half Pedoraz - it's like a piece of clothes sounds, if honest...
Alexander: Ahaha))) "He stuck his elegant half-pedoraz")))
Olga and Dada)))

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №85581
 14.08.2013
Lera: When the foam film from above starts to rise, remove and turn off the fire.
Lera: Do not leave him
Lera: or flee the shit will then wash it all.
HOG: I don’t have a puddle that will wash everything away afterwards.

[ + 45 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №85580
 14.08.2013
In my childhood, I was fishing with worms.

YYY : Why? O_O

XX: They have subversively tried to sabotage their work of earning. This is unacceptable!!! to

zzz: These are the wrong worms you are crawling.
The real worm must be such that he sits on a leash without any hook, rushes rapidly to the naively floating carousel, suffocates, rises, passes the prey on to the master and, after a comradeship, crumbling the worm's jaw, goes back to underwater hunting!

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №85579
 14.08.2013
From Habr:
> -...electric shock that would turn off the driver in case of excess. It should be, but not humane.
>...And what will happen to the driver’s car whose electric shock was cut off at full speed?? to
“Well, she would have flown out into the cottage and slowly burned, but it was a misanthrope that woke up in me.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №85578
 14.08.2013
From the online store of mattresses:
For a long time I was looking for a tough mattress for orgies with animals. The ordinary mattress with a sprinkle block is suitable only for small animals, and the donkey, for example, does not fail, especially if it is only on the back legs.
I bought it and I do not regret it!!! to

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №85577
 14.08.2013
The smoke:
But I know my place in a catastrophe film: I am the guy who, at the moment of the tragedy, stands on the spot, looks up (as long as everyone runs away), and understands that no one can save himself :)

by Alexei:
None to None! and Nihua! You have to save yourself, gather the arbalet and fuck everyone to the right and left!!! You can look at it for a minute, but then you need to quickly go to the bomb shelter!

The smoke:
Well maaaam! Can I watch for a few more minutes?? to
well well! Just a few minutes and then running to the shelter!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №85576
 14.08.2013
I love searching forums. I wondered how to cook pearls. On one of the sites: a recipe for pearls, then a bit about adding or not a pearls in the ear, moving into a bit, that vodka is already called by some "drink", and at the end, so modestly : "if someone else is interested in the recipe for ear...";

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №85575
 14.08.2013
Conversation at work.

Are you not planning children?
YYY : No. They are programmers.
XXX: What, are they multiplied by code?
xxx: then Boris is the wrong programmer, he already has two.
YYY: Yeah he wrote the script.
xxx: and then "Oh fucking, I started twice"?)

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №85574
 14.08.2013
"Recently, more and more Jews are appearing who are engaged in sports. This means that the sport has become a profitable business." Mikhail Zadornov.

[ + 50 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №85573
 14.08.2013
My son invites me to eat meat with him. I refuse, I say I want to lose weight to be beautiful. He said with a sincere surprise:
To be beautiful, you don’t have to lose weight, but wear shoes.
P.S In our women’s collective, the phrase has become almost a motto!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №85572
 14.08.2013
Most often the reputation is soaked with vodka.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №85571
 14.08.2013
I went to the blinds. It’s nice in summer, it’s interesting. Behind the River Fence. in the Saskatchewan River. He took with him Japanese hooks, Chinese hooks, now fashionable naglosaks donke (feeder). Well, he went to fishing in the evening, opened a expensive firm feed with a thirsty anise smell, blurred it in a large pelvis with water, put on his back to swell. I sit myself, attaching a hook and hooks to the leash.
And the aunt, by the way, owns a good herd of goats, which did not rush, walked in the background, watched me and at the same time chewed the coastal grass.
How one of them came unheard of me, I don’t know. How I ate behind my back all three kilograms of supplementary food, without a whistle, is mystery number two. When I turned, she quietly licked the basin.
All the sapphires had to be forgiven. The goat also had to forgive, did not catch up.
But the most important thing started in a day. My mother-in-law slowly sold goat milk to neighboring farmers. In the morning, the first to the gate for milk ran a rooted man, pulled us as a gift of sasan under two kilograms. Which I did not catch. And she cries through the fence: "You hear Nikolayevna, my daughter has that, when you don't make her drink this milk, she says, it smells like something, and here they gave it, and they didn't take it away, she drank it all, she talks deliciously. Can we increase the supply by a liter and a half?”

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №85570
 14.08.2013
After the locals saved me from the drunk mint, I am no longer surprised by anything in this country.

[ + 18 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №85569
 14.08.2013
Where are the normal headphones "drops"?? to
Well, I don't understand these new-fashioned spots, they remind me of anal sex: they get tight, you feel a strong discomfort and constantly scratch out!

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №85568
 14.08.2013
Why when I have my birthday people ask me what to give, and when you have your birthday people ask me again what to give you?! to

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №85567
 14.08.2013
My husband is a driver at the MSC. I came with a strange expression today. To the question: "what is happening to him", he answers.
I am too observant.
and??? to
You understand. Today, the tram struck two pedestrians and stuck. So, I looked at the time and the work of the guys. They pulled out of the tram half the first pedestrian in the first half. Half of the second half of the second!!! to

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №85566
 14.08.2013
Conversation in the corridor:
I’m late, I’m late for the meeting.
M: What did you think of before?
Q: Why did I have to think?? to

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna