At work, the water cooler was installed unsuccessfully: the user risks getting the back of the door of the cabinet that opens inside. Owners are aware, so before entering they are warned that they will open now.

The cold stopped, but the habit remained. The new employee seems to think we’re all a bit weird here.

Since when have 30-year-olds become basarines?? to

Well, from the point of view of the 14-year-old, all girls over the age of 19 are aunt. Deep and sadly elderly.

Do you want to go out tomorrow or tomorrow afternoon?
I want to, and when exactly?
Be as comfortable as you are)
He: Tomorrow then
She: No, let’s do better after tomorrow.

Andrei was on vacation for a week. I come - half of the department resigned, the head of the department who worked for 10 years in this organization resigned, and the other half of the department is on leave. I sit alone, the director comes in, looks at me so suspiciously: "Andrei, do you want to quit by chance?No?

From the vacancy:
Required: Machinery of the excavator hose with cane.

A rough machinery...

xxx: Is it true that when admitted to the police, first of all, the students are brainwashed, destroying a person's identity, and taught to see the offender in everyone who does not wear the uniform of the Ministry of Internal Affairs, including close relatives?

YYY: I am afraid to submit your question to the assassinator.

Apparently, the art of trolling becomes an important skill for Russian top officials, just as poetry was once a must for Chinese imperial officials.

It turns out, if you can't get your child to take a bitter pill, you just need to throw it on the floor - he will definitely pick it up and eat it.

My grandmother Antonina has not been there for a long time. She disappeared when I was only four years old. I remember it very bluntly, but one night I see it like it is now. It was a snowy winter evening in a village near Leningrad (at the time deaf). My grandmother persuaded me to go for a walk before going to bed, but I was capricious: I didn't want to dress, to go out in the cold. Then she said, “And suddenly something wonderful, the most beautiful, must happen right now? You don’t want to go out and go through it all?”I won’t say to believe too much, but I dressed up and went out with her.
We were gluing the snowballs when I saw two girls driving a huge red horse on our street... Before that I had only seen horses in pictures. The girls matched us, greeted us... and offered to roll me... My enthusiasm is hard to convey. I was fed with joy, and when I was put up! On a real horse. I almost burst out of happiness... And we drove to the very end of the street and back. And I told my grandmother that this was the happiest day of my life (and now remains one of the happiest).
Of course she was right. Therefore, when my two little ones grow up, when they are capricious and do not want to go anywhere, I will tell you about the wise pra-pra grandmother and how she believed that miracles happened.

A man comes to his friend and says, “Yes, I’m sleeping here with the priest’s wife.” Couldn’t his friend be able to delay the Holy Father a little after the service, literally for an hour?
A friend of course doesn’t like it all, but friendship is friendship, and he agrees.
After the service, a friend approaches the priest and begins to get him, asking all kinds of nonsense. In the end, the priest gets bored with all this and he asks directly: why is the man attached to him?
Well, the man becomes ashamed, and he confesses that his friend has asked to hold the Holy Father in order to have fun with his wife.
The priest smiles and says, “Hurry home, my son. I have no wife.”

A friend from Skype.

XXX: Olovololo
Shadow of them to do decided to play in the Akinator, well fuck which characters guess. I guessed the crab from Bob's sponge:
Does your character have hands?
– No
Is your character carnivorous?
Yes Yes
Is your character currently playing in the team Virtus.PRO?

In movies, when detectives find a trace, they always say, “You need to call a cinologist with a dog.” I wondered, what would a cinema be like without a dog?

We are going to McDowell on Saturday with my wife and daughter from Megha. Movement in the left rows is normal, 120-130, someone rancid, someone hamit, in general, as usual. And then the woman who was sitting quietly before said, “You just look at what beautiful clouds are!” I answer machinewise: “Well, I just have the clouds and look at...". She breathes and answers, “Well, if you want, I’ll lead you, and we can’t look at the clouds together.”

I don’t remember the details, but as a child I read Ophigen fantasy for kids. There was a boy, a trio named Vasek, who teleported to the Stone Age after school. And on the first evening in the new world, when already realized and accepted what happened, decided to open the fire. I will leave the physics textbook, I will burn the social science.
The Beautiful.

Lord, people, read at least in Novelstch what is there
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Did they just not let it go?
There was a story a few years ago, they also trumped at every corner that the mother-in-law was not allowed to go to the nursery, haters, goats, butters. And in fact, she came with a group of ten people supported by the horn that all of them should be present. The crowd was not allowed, they were offended and took the girl with fights, accepted the birth themselves. And then they started screaming on the internet, what all the shit.
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Because there is nothing to believe in the internet and do not do your own business. If someone is not allowed - he can call the police and doctors will be fired (at least). If he does not turn, but breeds a scourge - it means that the rifle in the gun itself. In general, the thief always screams louder than the thief.
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not let go. No car was allowed except for the ambulance. In the reception room, they stumbled, offered to call an ambulance to enter the hospital. In the police, the doctors and the security pressed a hat. Now in all the hospitals of Chelyabinsk was ordered the pregnant women to pass at any time on any transport. and all.

When my friend got married, his brother met the sister of the bride at the wedding. They also fell in love with each other and wanted to get married - but the parents stood up the wall - how, you are now relatives!!! They were the parents of both sides. It was not so long ago, 15 years ago.
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Even the PC allows it. Or is it a small nation with stupid rules from the depths of centuries? You could go and register quietly.

Watch the rise of Jupiter. The essence of the film: humans originated on another planet, settled the Earth 100,000 years ago. The main heroine is Russian, and her genetic code coincides with the royal family, who settled the Earth.

It turns out that the Russians arrived and settled on Earth 100,000 years ago. Classics of Slavic-Aryan teachings.

A full aunt with a heavy look and a shiny provincial makeup (confidently, all in inflated Kazakh gold) is an Orthodox predictor Elga.
Also in our centre of spiritual services - the Chukotka shaman in the seventh generation Joseph, the Jesuit Kabbalist Emomali and, finally, the wizard Cherokee Stepan Sergeevich Zagorulko.
(c) the

I was waiting for the opportunity to try myself in the mastery of the Moscow Nit (I will remind you that it is the same regional specialization as the Tula Lithium and the Gus-Crystalline Duty). The case was found.
(c) the

Sliva_rzn: The mother-in-law is burning. I went with my husband on holiday for two weeks, she was asked to look after the apartment and the cat. She left on the table a detailed written description of ten points, how and what to do. Cat food to take in the closet in the corridor on the middle shelf, a flower on the table in the room to water from under the crane, fried pork in a container with a blue lid to take from the refrigerator and all in this spirit. And most importantly "When cleaning cat feces, do not wash the filler in the toilet. It does not dissolve in water, use garbage bags. Well, here we go back, in the kitchen smells of pepper. If the cat hadn’t met us in the hallway, I would have thought it was dead. In short, the mother-in-law used garbage bags to clean up the cat’s trash. Here they are, all in two weeks - lying in the kitchen hose... A cha, threw it out.