bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №34458
 13.08.2010
Hm A strange day. I’m just going to work — I see — it’s time to leave...

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №34457
 13.08.2010
Is retirement a rest from work or a rest before eternal life?

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №34456
 13.08.2010
I have written a few times about the great science of psychology. Here is another story from my psychiatrist.
Her husband Sergey left for the summer to a small resort town, to laundry in a seaside restaurant. Unfortunately, it happened on the first night.
Conflict with local “maritime directors”. Some wanted to immediately hear "Vladimir Central", and others died without "black eyes", it is clear that some lovers of beauty had to be separated and they promised Sergei to tear off his legs.
The foot breakers did not fool and waited for the musician in the bushes in the morning.
Sergey never fought in his life, although he was a very serious sambist, so he began not to fight with them, but to fight: one threw his teeth on the asphalt, another performed a painful hand, and without waiting for the strikes on the carpet, disassembled the elbow on spare parts, and the third... dumb escaped.
Of course, as a shout, the mints jumped out and tied our cheeks.
The wife immediately arrived, hired a lawyer and with incredible effort pulled out.
Sergey from Siso under subscription. But the prospect was acidic: the victims had connections in the prosecutor's office, and they were crushed, with one shaking and teeth, and with the other hand (they do not show themselves...) Of course, there were already subordinate witnesses in the case, who saw how Sergey clinged to the victims.
They sent a lawyer to the hospital to beg to collect the application, but they broke such a grandmother that you need to sell a Moscow apartment in order not to sit down.
The exit was invented by the wife of the unlucky laboo-sambist.
At six o’clock in the morning Sergey himself arrived at the hospital. Growth is lower than average, thin, but livable. He was dressed in his wife’s dress, on his legs was a beard on the spikes, on his head was a pearl, in his ears were huge clips, on his face was a pale makeup.
Why do you want to arrest a poor girl?
“Pedic, what do you need here...?! to
- All of you untouched men call you a pedicure... and I am a female and a
My soul is wounded.
Only those who suffered him knew, “That’s you that lawn!!!” In the sense of laughing!! You are the shit, the shit!!? to
Sergey pulled out of the ridiculed cloth and attached it to the eyes.
The victims instantly imagined how the whole city would be gathered for trial and this "bad girl" would talk about how she broke them and chased five more.
The witnesses...
Listen, shit, until no one has seen you drive to the airport, there you
They will bring your subscription and the tracker will close the case, and you promise that today
You will fly...!!! to
I... I promise...

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №34455
 13.08.2010
Medvedev has said that Medvedev will participate in the presidential election.
Putin and another candidate.
All the fucking. We are fucking. Now they will be three.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №34454
 13.08.2010
xxxh: I sit, I put questions to the base for the rector’s control of knowledge. Evaluate one of them:

In the fourth year of life, children get acquainted with the first flat geometric figures, namely:
and the pyramid;
c) the cylinder;
c) the cone;
The ball, the cub.

xxx: judging by the keys, the flat figure is a cone))

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №34453
 13.08.2010
From the AutoCAD:

and AAA:
Interesting, but why signal on the lighting to the car all clothed with U signs, etc.? to

The BBB:
Did the instructor not tell you? This is a good old driving tradition - surrounding drivers encourage you - such as "go guys, don't be afraid - we all learned, I will cover you behind if you suddenly swallow."

and ccc:
Beautiful))) And if M*daq is screaming out of the window, it is encouraging especially fierce fans)))

and DDD:
When I was studying, my instructor cried out.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №34452
 13.08.2010
If there were normal agitation, volunteers could be attracted to extinguish fires.
YYYYYYYYYYYYY Moscow and Nizhny Novgorod regions. The burning tracks! Spend your holidays in unforgettable places!

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №34451
 13.08.2010
She: *sitting a girl with a guy in aske and talking about dns, romance*
She: "The main thing is that this doesn't happen when we spend the night on the beach."
He: Of course
Let’s talk about other services.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №34450
 13.08.2010
HH: To get down so that I don’t sit in the inlet?

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №34449
 13.08.2010
XHH: interesting things
xxx: in the movie now only salt) and the unstoppable should have been brought yesterday and started to show, but did not bring.
YYY: They were not held.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №34448
 13.08.2010
Mr. Putin, you probably know the details. What happened to the Russian village?
She was burned.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №34447
 13.08.2010
Client – UP “Pinskoye PMS”
They are all really angry there.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №34446
 13.08.2010
The prince on the white horse, where are you?

I will kill you ? ? ? ?

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №34445
 13.08.2010
I go to work with Kent. We passed by the pharmacy, which later found out where it moved. Shortly from the door 2 such grown loads carry a shrinkage and a healthy closet. This is a typical pharmacy. Kent staring at the loaders, in a half-voice:... well, it’s so sick.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №34444
 13.08.2010
XXX: I was back home last night.
YYYYYYYYYYYYY
The classic situation is to want a man, asks to smoke, and I do not smoke to him.
WOW : and?
I broke my teeth... a newspaper.
No, I didn’t think Chuck smoked.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №34443
 13.08.2010
From RBC:
Meteorologists have named the date of the end of the anomalous heat
Along with the cold will come storms and hurricanes.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №34442
 13.08.2010
Vichy (01:35:49 12/08/2010)
Story of Goni

Pamiorka (01:35:57 12/08/2010)
The king’s sausage?

Vichy (01:36:17 12/08/2010)
Don’t know*

Pamiorka (01:36:35 12/08/2010)
There lived the king of cabbage.

Pamiorka (01:36:43 12/08/2010)
lived in the refrigerator.

Paddock (01:36:54 12/08/2010)
lived to himself

Paddock (01:36:59 12/08/2010)
He was once eaten.

Pamiorka (01:37:02 12/08/2010)
Morally

Pamiorka (01:37:10 12/08/2010)
Do not live in the refrigerator.

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №34441
 13.08.2010
Laughed (12:52:17 12/08/2010)
I love the summer! Yesterday, both of our managers came without lifes *CRAZY* I was now helping one of them docking the docks. And I was smart, I was sitting on the couch on which all the leaves were laid out, and she stood next to me bending over the couch.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №34440
 12.08.2010
I watch on the website of the government of Russia online broadcast of reconstruction buildings... cows walk, the wind of the branches of trees rolls... construction not to see

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №34439
 12.08.2010
Recently, Putin solved the problem of fires in Russia, personally spilling 24 tons of water on the Riazhan forest.

In the near future, the prime minister plans to deal with the problems of the small business, a couple of days of trading ice cream on arbat.


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