...

I became a programmer in order to learn how to cheat Japanese slot machines and not pay 20 cops per game. WEB to make it easier to find your breasts. Invent a deception associated with nuclear physics, and people will be drawn into it!

It’s hard to talk to people who are more stupid than their phone.

A remake of the 1984 horror film.
At first, they are pretty cute creatures, but after being eaten, they turn into monsters, destroying everything they can.
See, in Russia, already now: "The Kremlin"

c 4pda discussion of one of the leading electronics manufacturers:
Only the wretch produces something, all the others sit silently and count the profits.
Profit is what Sam believes.
Zzzz: Who doesn’t think of it? Does any of the producers work for the idea?
www: the car

The movement on Voroshilov Street from 1 to 5 houses was blocked, a lot of police officers, in the courts of special forces with machine guns, were banned from shooting. They work mostly near the house number 2.

The comments:
XXX: What happened there, interesting? Waiting for details

Yyy: I caught the torrent.

Zzzz: Oh, he’s even been on the internet

Sveta: My father’s colleague was late to work on the eve of last year. Really late, for a couple of hours... He tells us - they went with the men at night to the trees in the forest. Cut, pull... And here the mints come to me – where do the trees come from? The men struck, but one of them, a colleague of the father, thought to say that his own - in his private house in the yard grew, they were cut down. The mentions did not very believe and recorded the address of this man. In general, they were so frightened that the rest of the night the pins from these trees were transplanted from the woods to the yard of this guy - the land was frozen ))))) And the mint did not come.

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Buy money, buy money immediately!
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From the article "Interesting facts about twins": Geneticists have concluded that a woman is more likely to give birth to twins.

I think the genius of this conclusion is undeniable.

On YouTube another comment-lochotron a-la "I worked in MTS, but I was fired and..."
Answer to him:
"Not true, you are taken out into the forest and buried."

As you know, the hidra of Internet piracy for twenty years does not allow Russian directors to shoot high-quality movies and series.
YYY-Maybe not a hydra, but a frog, then everything comes to its place.

If you constantly push your line, there will be a closed circle.

In the hot tracks

“First we lived poorly, then we were robbed.”

Twenty-five years ago, in the city of Lviv, there was one, wildly popular TV program about urban hooligans, alcoholics, “nonsense”, well and generally - about those who stopped the restructuring acceleration. I can’t remember if she had a name. Probably there was something.
The head of the program - Pavel Bogdanovich, he is its unchanging host, all the time wanted to bring into the transmission of some drive and serious crime, he was tired of the stories about the stolen toilets from the "Keramzávod", about the days of a trembling man, or the tulips removed from the city club:
“We are in the seventh department of the militia, behind me you see Olga Nikolaevna Trushchak, controller of finished products of the Polyaron plant.
A citizen of Trushchak, under the cover of the night, smashed more than ten tulips near the monument to Ivan Franco, for which she was detained.

Further, the host hanged the Mhatov pause, depicted the titanic work of the brain, about the fates of the country and thoughtfully gave the smartest thought:
“I thought here, comrades – is it not because Olga Nikolaevna Trushchak works as a controller at the factory, that she cannot control her own actions?”

In short, all this was quite tiny and did not save even the wise thoughts sounding in the frame.

Pavel Bogdanovich dreamed of serious affairs: cruel robberies, robbery, well, in the extreme case - rape, and most importantly, to film the program not only in the police or courtroom, but directly at the time of the crime, well, at the bad end - immediately after.
And one day we were lucky - a familiar captain of the militia called Paul Bogdanovich in the middle of the night and said:
- Gather your eagles, here I have an apartment theft, if you have time, then you can take off as we work on the exit. It is on Lenin Street, in the area of the tank.
The boss immediately called everyone - it was his star hour, even if, a real opera band on a real apartment theft. After an hour we were already on the spot, unplugging the cables and installing the cameras (Your submissive servant worked in that filming group with a modest "lightlight").

In the end, the plot turned out to be very combat, though, not as fierce as the boss dreamed, but still much more alive, than about some lazy, furry tulips:
“We are in the very center of the events, behind me the windows of the just robbed apartment. Do you hear the sirens coming? It was the opera group. Let us rush after them, and you, dear friends, will now see with your own eyes their difficult work of uncovering this terrible crime.”

Then a couple of correct words said the captain, and at the end of the plot, at the snack, we showed the voicing of impotent anger, the most victim - the owner of the apartment. He rubbed the liquid hair on his head and stood: "Oh, what a magnetophone, what a magnetophone, I am a fool, all my life dreamed of such, fool, what a magnetophone, I will never forgive myself this...!" (his tears were the most real and made an indelible impression on our viewer).

Now, let me tell you what’s left behind the picture:
The owner of the apartment - a quiet fifty-year-old alcoholic, returning from the village, where he spent his vacation, approached his house and noticed that the window was suspiciously opened.
The man got up on his socks, looked into the room - doubts disappeared, someone visited the apartment.
Without entering, in order not to wipe off the traces of crime, the owner called from the machine to the police and began to wait, and after an hour we were all in place.
The victim and the captain entered the apartment, and we with the camera and the microphone on the "shelf" stumbled behind them.
Careful captain (playing well on the camera):
“Please don’t worry, focus, look around and say – What has changed? What is missing from things?
The owner went into the kitchen:
– Oh! The wine bottles. I didn’t have those bottles. I always take my own, and there is a full battery.
The bottles? well well. And yet?
Here is the candle on the table. I never burn candles, but I have a lamp.
In your absence, the thieves organized a small prototype here.
Comrade Captain, look at my Rubik Cube!
And what?
Well how what? It is completely assembled by flowers, and I can't do that, I have never even folded one side.
Thieves know how to collect rubik cube – it’s good, it’s a clutch. The victim, you better say – what is missing?
Yes, here are the cards, not mine, I don’t play cards.
What is missing?

Here, we all the filming group looked side by side and somehow immediately realized that nothing could go missing from here. No one needs a buffet with torn glass, or coloured curtains with cigarette burns. The man lived, well, not rich: a radio spot, a iron bed, rugged pelvis on the closet, on the walls painted photographs of village relatives, wreaths, slugs, sex clothes, this is probably all good. Clearly nothing to survive.
But here, everyone present suddenly noticed something brilliant under the kitchen table. They pulled out a miracle - it turned out to be a huge Japanese two-cassette magnetophone.
There was silence, even the operator stopped filming.
More foreign object in this apartment is difficult even to imagine.
At the time, to accumulate on such a magnetophone, it took two years: neither to eat, neither to drink and not to breathe, plus a little more to go into debt.
The victim looked at the miracle of Japanese nature, licked his dry lips and, crying, spoke:
“That...comrade captain, since I have already suffered from the thieves, maybe their magnetophone will remain with me, in the form of a... this, compensation?
What kind of heroes will he be with you? Turn off the camera. What did you hurt? The fact that the thieves collected your ruby cubic of flowers while you were on vacation? So you do not have to pay for the loss, rather you owe them.
So yes, the magnetophone I take, it is probably from another theft and in general, you have such an expensive thing? The neighbors will know, they will strike. So say thank you for being saved.
- Comrade Captain, please God, leave the magnetophone, suddenly the thieves will come after him, what will I tell them? They will kill me.
Send them to me, I will tell them everything. Goodbye, I have the honor.
"Oh, what a magnetophone, what a magnetophone, I am a fool, all my life dreamed of such, fool, what a magnetophone, I will never forgive myself this...!

Angry evaders from the army in case of war will also be called. With their experience, they will be partisans and scammers.

Answer by mail:
A very short story of the "dog heart"? Who knows?

A professor of cooking and his assistant invented a very delicious dish, the main ingredient of which is a dog’s heart. And here they go with this dish to Italy for a culinary reality show very popular in Europe and become its winners. The recipe is tried to buy from a professor, trick, steal, different political forces of the world, but he keeps it secret. At this time in Russia, the Bolsheviks come to power, the leader of which Vladimir Lenin, asks the professor to prepare this dish for him, and sends him an agent of the CCHR Sharikov with the task to find out the recipe. The professor and his assistant unraveled the Bolshevik agent in Sharikov, killed him, removed his heart from his chest and prepared for Lenin the place of a dog. Lenin eats his heart and begins a policy of terror in the country. The professor and his assistant open a restaurant in the Korean quarter of Paris but in the 1930s return to the USSR where they immediately get into the GULag.

From the women’s website:

Is it true that in секонд-hend many things are removed from bodies and then sold?

If there are traces of a machine gun line on the machete, it gives rise to thought.

Discuss the news where Bruce Willis did not pay $3 million. Dollars for filming in "Unstoppable 3":
I would agree with 2.
For 2 rubles?
Nenoacho, you can quench a few days in good company for 2 rubles. The main thing is not to get into a fight.

by VKontakte. 10 tips on how to make a man happy

1) Having sex with him
2) to feed
Read the continuation

You can’t read more, that’s enough.

The Habr:

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!where the second B is a bank
What about the other letters?
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
WOW: Is it ANPWNHSTP?
What about the other letters?
With such proposals.
zzz: - After this clarification, I understood what the other letters mean, without googling.

I returned from a business trip (in my absence, I lived in the apartment with a girlfriend). When I arrived, I found two rolls of the same toilet paper in the toilet. So now I wonder, was it a competition or a division of property?

This is:

I was offended to the depths of my soul today. On the floor in the toilet instead of a refresher, someone put the same column that I use every day... Now I smell the toilet. And these people put a roll of paper on my table and put a single-use paper seat on my chair :( Now I understood why it is called "toilet water" in the store.

A couple of handy moves - and you have 2 columns at home))