bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №115873
 09.07.2015
The morning.
The balcony.
and Coffee.
In the courtyard, a man with a gasoline pile attacks a rapper.
I go...

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №115872
 09.07.2015
A comment to the article on the Tape about Facebook users blocked for "chokhl".
xxx: If "hochla" was equated to "nigger" - should we expect hochlorap, hochlowerk and hochlofergyson?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №115871
 09.07.2015
Kobzon so actively voted for the law of the “Poddlers”, which prohibited the adoption of foreigners. He did not notice how he himself was forbidden to enter the geyrop.
And now, when he himself had cancer in response and needed an operation, he runs to the woe-pahan, that he would help and confuse the cowboy to be treated in the geyrop.
Karma is karma.

[ + 16 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №115870
 09.07.2015
To all the shit about pregnant women and those who say that pregnant women parasitize on the rest of society, and that they should live without help and subsidies. I want to remember the joke that if men had a period, they would be issued a certificate of disability for their period. If you are unable to endure the presence of a pregnant woman, then what to say about what you would be in her place, and which side would throw the hollow in this dispute.

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №115869
 09.07.2015
My wife and I were in a movie and watched The Rise of Jupiter. In principle, the same "Saturday", only with a space enclosure.
The intergalactic slopes are heading towards their completion, an epic scene of rescuing a starlight from a super-megahop. The big plan is to break the spacecraft and the captain's question: "Is it okay?"" The team with a disorderly choir: "Yes, captain", the hall is much more coherent: "Yes, captain!"" SpongeBob would be jealous.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №115868
 09.07.2015
for ovulation work:
= = = is = is = is = is = is
I worked for a time in a women's team on a paycheck. In the employment contract, we had the MRL + percentage of the work done. You don't want to work, throw a fool in the workplace - get a deadline at the end of the month and don't refuse anything to yourself. No one is forced to work. If you work in full force, the salary is not bad. Hollowers, lovers of applying are seeded out in the first months, there are people who want to work. By the way, half of the team calmly came to the decree and returned to work.
And don’t say that payments are not possible everywhere. Even in the accounting office you can introduce a paycheck. A man does not want to work, but he wants to take the bank away. Please, I will gladly send you payments to the bank 20x50rub = 1000rub., do not want to write out the bill (5x20rub. = 100rub.How to use the materials (15x20 = 300)? I will gladly do it for you. In 1C at the end of the month, you can see who has earned how much and do not have to argue with the boss, reduce wages, argue with labor.
And most importantly, don’t force anyone to work – money will do it for you.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №115867
 09.07.2015
When you are pregnant with your pregnant women...

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №115866
 09.07.2015
No to No!)
The fact that a real man is wiped out is what matters. An adult woman explained it to me.
If a man does not watch the household, meets a girl, and hired a woman to clean / cook for money, then he is not a man. Because a man has to take care of himself.
The only one who can take care of a man without prejudice to his masculinity is his wife!!! official and with a stamp, not a fellow resident) and only if he proves her his masculinity and care by buying a car.

That is how we split up.

P.S The news that she’s all right with a real man is coming for the third (!) every quarter of the year)

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №115865
 09.07.2015
— — —
With great pleasure, I will end my days among the cute intelligent androids, not armed ovulations with scented diapers.
— — —
Don’t be deceived, if our women stop giving birth, you’ll end your days among the crowd of Arabs and Negroes.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №115864
 09.07.2015
I honestly don’t know what the problem with pregnancy is. Find someone to stick to!
Well, the employee worked with us, as she found herself in an interesting position, began to run through hospitals, well, went, for an hour at 2, no one whimpered at all, a purely female collective, among which were both the birthers and not, as they all treated with understanding. Yes, she did a part of her work, which must be done right now, and what can be postponed, she spent coming from the hospital, stayed after work and generally indicated the correct number of hours she worked. In general, a soulful person, brought to work there baking, together they drank tea at lunch, well, there were no problems in principle. I am now reading these scratches and my hair is becoming dumb, because I am planning myself soon in a decree, people you are crazy, fucking when there was no line in the hospitals? It is okay to leave the tests, but for a doctor's appointment, there is a bloody war, don't give god a turn.
Per somehow the government and the chief should be obliged to settle this issue. Per still pregnant out of line to take in hospitals, so not will lift up the heads suffering in the ranks in hospitals... This is a closed circle!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №115863
 09.07.2015
Features of the Galaxy S6: IC port for the control of household appliances.
Unknown? Did I wait for that? They made an IC-port. How I missed him. Finally, I’ll be able to troll minors who boast that they have an IQ port in their mobile phone! Fuck, 15 years ago he was in almost every brick. And they were able to manage the household equipment!! Fucks, hold on to it!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №115862
 09.07.2015
My grandfather smoked Java all his life, and here I see him smoking other cigarettes, and my grandfather is 68 and he has a lot of health problems. I approached my grandfather and asked him how he suddenly changed cigarettes. And here’s the wonderful answer: “These with menthol, when I have difficulty breathing, I smoke them.”

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №115861
 09.07.2015
Pictures from a Western exhibition. In the photo on the posthumous huge glass phalloimiter and next to also incredible size man points to him with his finger and cleverly smiles.
I was once a strange glass toy.
The size of which no one meets.
I’m now with Genoa, he’s extraordinary.
zzz: it’s the best glass in the world!

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №115860
 09.07.2015
I love when my mom calls me a beauty, a rabbit, a kiss, and so on.
The tp of this list is best for you.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №115859
 09.07.2015
It is hot. Children in the yard.
I walk like an old pedicure.
Is it how?
I don’t know, that’s what my mom says.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №115858
 09.07.2015
The unemployed? Want to work?
My mother after the operation needed a sparing mode.To work she was driven by her dad, working with papers, sparing. But at home nothing could be done, even standing for a long time was hard. My sister and I decided to take a housewife. The house is big, no one can clean it. Of the duties - to live in the house, cook dinner, twice a week to wash the floors and smooth. Only the parents live in the house.
Published an announcement. and 25k.
For a single girl or woman, this is a great option. About the fact that one out of 10 will come to the interview after an agreement - I remain silent.
There were three girls.
One of the villages, there sp 6000, asked for the winter only. have taken.
She was two weeks old and left. It is boring!
The second one left after two weeks, speaking hard. It is hard! Five rooms to clean and to make the snacks for dinner or soup for three days to cook!
I watched the series all day at home. and plunged. My sister and I came in turn, cleaned up and brought food.
Where are the unemployed? No one wants to work.
For those who want to start a doctor, about bad masters, I will write specifically. Dad was at work all day until late in the evening. Mom was phlegmatic, very calm, took home work and sat in papers all night. No one stumbled, no fingers in the dust, treated the girls as relatives.
Now, when they tell me that I have no work, I just whisper. There is no job for those who want to sit on the pope and not work.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №115857
 09.07.2015
I am a general manager of the company, today I received a correspondence to the firm by mail. I can act everywhere without trust, according to the statute. In the mail, they were forced to write on a simple sheet from the hand a confidence about me, a seal, a signature. And whether I have the right to give powers – they didn’t care!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №115856
 09.07.2015
You read here and realize that a bunch of problems people have only because of the position that they all owe, the third Russian trouble. And the pirates must, and the naturalists must, and the men must, and the grandmothers must, and the employees must, and the employer must. Have you not tried to make the mutual settlement of these debts and not to suffer yourself with this load and not to get others?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №115855
 09.07.2015
Women do not need to be understood, it is enough to subdue.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №115854
 09.07.2015
My husband works in the tourism industry and at the height of the season he works as a beef from morning to night. Until 9 p.m. he was not seen. No, of course I understand everything, but my 3-year-old daughter is not there and every night we have tears, “Where is Dad when Daddy comes?” She is generally a "father's daughter", without daddy neither sleep nor dinner and life is not in joy.
I will not scandal... not on the girls goes, for us and tries, money earns.
I read here on the website the story of a smart wife who photographed food and a underwear and sent a photo to her husband... and he went home.
Well, I think why not.. attracted to the project daughter, together prepared hot "for daddy", as well as soup and salad.. then half an hour made the composition on the table.. and so everything was beautiful we got.. and bread on a wooden board, and a basket with fruits next to put for the sake of beauty.. and even some herbs were thrown on the bench. The masterpiece is straight. at the same time, the daughter ate, like "for daddy", so that he knew what was delicious.
Girls, it works!! to
We sent photos without five minutes seven.. at 19:30 he was entering the door!!! He was flying...
The joy of the child has no limits.

Right now we sit, glue out a small cap from the paper "like a chef-powar", a small fork is ready, I will take a photo of the daughter who is roasting the paste. We cooked my dad’s cake. And the hysteria stopped, and my husband was happy.
A friend ran in the morning, she is selling cosmetics "door to door", she has some bottles, bottles with her forever.
I told her about the idea, while her bottles on the bench in the bedroom were folded up with candles and white wrapped towels. (these photos I'll send on Friday, promising a hot bath and massage.
So she told me that this fist has long passed. She says, “I don’t need to run every day, I run for clients in the evenings, but to come early on Friday, it’s so. Well, to eat together, maybe go where the forces will be in the evening. And so it will come late and fall asleep... so the whole life is young and will pass."
So every Friday at 16:00 she sends him an email link to the trailer of the film, which was downloaded with the adjective "to beer what to take, salt chips or shrimp?" Don’t believe he’s home at 5 p.m.! to
He says it’s been two years and it still works!
At first he rejoiced as a child, all his friends boasted about what his wife was caring, and after a year the return went... never now comes with empty hands... then the cake to the tea will bring, then the mandarin will buy.. runs like a date, with a gift.
And recently I told you that the boss went abroad and everyone went at 14:00 (the end of the day, Friday in Israel is a short day, since Saturday begins in the evening) and he is all sitting and sitting. I’m waiting for the message, the reflex has worked out.

So, girls, love your husbands, and cheer more often. not so we have a lot of joys in life, another, though small and "household", so to speak, will not be too much.

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