bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №100793
 22.07.2014
XX: I was the fatest person in my life when I didn’t jerk all day, I sat down and ate after 22:00.
I then had a very sharp and creative one-year-old child, who had to run on his heels all day, then pulling away, then distracting him from various dangerous tasks. I could not eat until you put him to sleep.

When I told my mom that I had no time, she always said that only thin people can say that. fat people (it’s about herself) will always find time and opportunity to eat... everything in the head, comrades)

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №100792
 22.07.2014
It’s late, but it’s about the EEG.
Literally a witness. The entrance to the point of surrender, metal detectors stand workers, around the guards snoop with dumb faces. One girl, passing through the frame, wrote. I asked to show what was in the bag. They open - and there is a natural hammer, not even a knife. I see that it is real.
Nothing, they said to go on.
Yes, not a spade. It was terrible to be with her in the same audience.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №100791
 22.07.2014
Beautiful guys can be kind and good, they will be given even despite these two disgusting traits of character. But for some reason they do not take advantage of this opportunity and still become fools. And the ordinary guys, if they are not fools, just won’t give. Or a ridiculous coincidence. There are so many idiots in the world.
yyy: ))))) Introduction to mutation :)

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №100790
 22.07.2014
A friend from Rwanda says that if her compatriots saw how many Frenchmen throw away food, they would have killed them.
Killed and Eaten? and :)

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №100789
 22.07.2014
Fuck, I eat fried eggs so often, after my wife left, that I already started to distinguish the taste of the poultry factory.

yyy: fine poultry factory, I in the village distinguished from which carrier eggs

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №100788
 22.07.2014
The Investigative Office of the Ministry of Internal Affairs of the self-proclaimed Republic of Crimea opened a criminal case on the fact of the destruction in the Simferopol administration of the National Bank of Ukraine of 48 million UAH with the help of a paper crusher.
On an oral order from Kiev, using a shredder, the staff of the National Bank’s management from 5 to 7 May crushed, as subsequently calculated in the investigative bodies, 48 million hryvnia.
Zagrebelion: I am not a specialist in the economy, but if 48 million hryvnia is destroyed, then you can safely print another 48 million.
dickto: From the point of view of the economy, this will be a money transfer from Crimea to Kiev by means of a shredder.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №100787
 22.07.2014
<zud> in the cartoon "From the slopes of Kokuriko" there was one remarkable phrase that, despite its contradiction, explained a lot to me:
"Stop with the tyranny of the majority, we have democracy here"

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №100786
 22.07.2014
By the way, in the Ottoman Empire, the earrings were knocked in the ear of slaves, so that they would not try to cut under the free.
It is...
What now?
Let us remember the customs of all times and peoples and apply them today.
For the ancient Greeks, for example, it was inappropriate, seeing a cute boy, to strike him a tongue, go in and go on with his affairs.
and where it is not shameful to worship, even praisefully... or roaring, to express thanks to the masters for the meal

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №100785
 21.07.2014
epicfeil, it is when the Gypsies asked King Midas to golden the pen.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №100784
 21.07.2014
xxx: I still remember the physical meaning of the second derivative.
yyy: The first derivative is a buchlo purchased for the proceeds from the delivery of empty dishes after drinking. Then you went there, until the second product.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №100783
 21.07.2014
"I give a certificate"
Cergus in the ear (the road) was dragged by pirates, Cossacks (often the latter in the family) and other crab heads. Most often it is for something decent to bury-song (well and NZ for force majeure). Therefore, it is traditionally in the left ear - so that the right hand is more convenient. The tradition of the soldier to drag something valuable (and often on the skin, the hair of the shop not to love) is widespread around the world. Even the Sikhs (not to be confused with the Sit(x)am of the ZV) remained the tradition of a silver bracelet (to sing) and chalma - like a savannah (there is still a steel quite combat bracelet in mandatory items, but not to that).
And I also have a theory, everyone in the subject (phenomenon, tradition...) sees first and foremost what he wants to see (some then connect Moscow, even units immediately).

[ + 23 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №100782
 21.07.2014
Yesterday in the Soloviev broadcast: "We will not talk about the accident in the subway, as the investigation has not yet been completed."
This conversation went on "abated by Ukraine aircraft."

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №100781
 21.07.2014
21 July 2014. of Chelyabinsk. The boss removed the fan in the closet and connected the heater.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №100780
 21.07.2014
The female version looks like this:
What do you know about Lenny? I am so lazy that instead of going to one of the three shops 15-20 meters from the entrance, I cooked it myself.
(History of life)

__________________

Check out: the store is cooked or entering?

[ + 15 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №100779
 21.07.2014
Our programmers are so rough that instead of washing a cup of coffee, they clean it inside with leather.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №100778
 21.07.2014
Nick> I was hungry and wanted a beer on Saturday morning. A phrase that connects me with Charles Bukowski.
Stepan> You, a young man, alcoholism is related to most geniuses and fools of the 20th century.
As well as me)

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №100777
 21.07.2014
"Life" is the coolest RPG where complex quests give protective rewards!
and----
Where the charm is blocked, and it is impossible to start a new game.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №100776
 21.07.2014
On the right unnamed ring "Save Save" I have been carrying since childhood. My friends look at me and ask, are you married? I answer them – no, it is "save it". From what, from marriage?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №100775
 21.07.2014
If yesterday was absent, then in the morning there would be the mood as if you took a mortgage for a 3-bedroom apartment in the center of Moscow.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №100774
 21.07.2014
If you think your code is perfect, imagine it’s someone else’s code.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna